Philosophy of Addiction Recovery 1

In an effort to help people overcome addiction, I have been putting my full thought into how the industry of addiction recovery exists currently.

The methods I used to overcome alcoholism are aggressive, but only in the sense that they are unusual. For some individuals I recommend they overhaul every aspect of their life in order to propel change. This is an overstatement, but it’s better to overstate than understate when it comes to addiction.

There is so much stuff to do in this life! Think about all the daydreams you have about all the places you want to go. If you are a user of drugs or alcohol, I ask: do those daydreams coincide with using of said drugs or alcohol? If the answer is yes, I want you to expand your vision. There are different kinds of addictions that exist in this world, and some swallow you whole more than others. Many people might admit to having a coffee addiction, and that level of admittance is a variable by which we can measure how negatively impactful a substance is upon humanity.
How many people admit to using heroin?
How many people admit to eating mushrooms?

Heroin might someday be decriminalized, but it will never be condoned.

Psychedelic mushrooms on the other hand have recently become decriminalized in three U.S. Cities: Denver, CO, as well as Santa Cruz and Oakland, CA. This is a powerful statement from the people of America: “We understand this substance to be of no danger to society.”

We all know how the story of cannabis legalization goes. We are living it!

Me? I ate mushrooms prior to becoming an alcoholic, and perhaps the spiritual awakening I received from my 2 or 3 times eating psychedelic mushrooms played a factor in how I went about overcoming my addictions.

I want to tell you exactly how I did it; I want to tell you exactly how I overcame alcoholism. BUT! The story is – the story’s not over! Do I think I will ever go back to drinking alcohol? Not in a million years! I honestly believe that when it comes to alcohol addiction I have my sobriety down-pat. I specify alcohol addiction because I know I will never rid myself addiction fully, but for the benefit of my happiness I shed what commiserates me. I am a human not to be commiserated! This is the attitude I wield everyday, and with great effort! Who would I be to do what makes me unhappy?

When I was younger, all I knew was working at restaurants, and the amount of money I received seemed not worth my time [until I got to San Francisco]. What did I do instead of looking for something better? I drank alcohol! From 21 years old to 24 years old, I drank alcohol because it made me happy. It made me fucking happy! What more can I say? People would ask me if I was depressed, and I would get frustrated, because I didn’t feel depressed, necessarily, but! I did feel like I was falling behind in life. Down the road, lemme tell you: that feeling of falling behind in life? It leaves an unforgivable aftertaste.

So I was drinking, right? And I was drinking because it made life habitable. When I was drunk, work was not so miserable, and that was a fact I lived with everyday. I now know it was my misguided ambitions that put me on that road to failure. To tell you exactly why I became an addict is to tell you why I like the color purple. For some things, there is no why, only when.

This “when” is monumentally important. The last thing I want to turn into is some dude that goes around to highschool’s and gives speeches on alcoholism and addiction, but damn if I don’t think that recognizing the signs of addiction, and trusting mine [and everyones!], advice to avoid addiction is better then dealing with the problem after the fact.

Nothing is enjoyable without using drugs Twain, what do I do?”

The answer is simple as it is disappointing: Change Everything.

Change your hair from brown to blue if you think it will make you happy. Ahh! But remember, you must juggle the triage of life as you proceed. This means that if you can’t have blue hair at work, and you also can’t afford to ditch your job, you can not turn your hair from brown to blue.

Okay then…”

Blue hair wasn’t the move anyway. Unless it is! Then it’s the fucking move! But what about…uhh, what about learning something new? Is that a thing you’re interested in? Because I’ll tell you: allowing yourself to learn a new skill and gain new knowledge whilst simultaneously fighting addiction, can create a viciously powerful cycling effect that the enlightened call: Holding Yourself to a High Standard.

Holding Yourself to a High Standard is the type of thing that those individuals you look up to do, and it’s how they achieve their massive gains. Be it mentally, socially, economically, or physically, gains are achieved through hard work and consistency. Many people buy a gym membership lowkey using the membership [and it’s cost] as a catalyst to start working out. Mhm, does it work for everyone? But it does work for some people, right? Well, I believe it only works for those that make changes in other aspects of their life in tandem. Going to the gym is nothing without first abolishing fast food from your life, or actually spending the hard-time thinking about what makes you happy. Will going to the gym make you happy? If so, you might be ready to commit to a membership! Albeit, there are also individuals who might test themselves by excising in a park for a period of time to test the waters about their commitment; I think such is a healthy practice.

For those who desire to overcome addiction, I think enrolling at University is the most extreme catalyst one could thrust themselves into. That, or the military.

x. Spark Twain

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Fuel Cafe 1

The time is 09:50 in the morning, and I am writing to you from Fuel Cafe in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. At first, I thought it would be a waste of my time to write a blog post, but I changed my mind.

At first, I was going to produce an email titled “Tourism Doesn’t Start in Hotels. Tourism Starts in Hostels,” and then send it out to, well, a lot of fucking people. Getting on the news is an absolute must for me [and the Cream City Hostel] right now. I already sent that email to TJM4 about my recovery program, but taking to the airwaves with promotion of this hostel is much more practical.

My espresso is surprisingly good, but clearly no one orders it, because he served it to me in a coffee mug. Which is all good, but the thing did cool off pretty fast being in an improper container.

Inbetween my ordering and my starting this article, I went to the bathroom and removed some of the layers of my clothes. I always overdress. When it comes to cold weather, do as I say+not as I do, and under dress for the walk if it’s as short as the one I just made.

In front of me is, of course, the dbl espresso I spoke of before, and then I have a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. It was only $3.50, and it’s pretty lit. Some of the people here are drinking coffee, and some of them are drinking beer. I do love Milwaukee for that. I mean, no joke, I am telling you: there are some locals in here, with laptops open, working vigilantly, and they have a beer sitting in front of them. The time is 09:58 in the morning on Friday, February 28th, 2020. Tomorrow is the leap day. I say “the” and not “a” because they don’t happen very often, and although I often bare on the edge of safety, I like to think the significance of a leap day deserves a singular title.

What needs to happen is this: money needs to be funneled into this hostel, and then the tax money generated from the resulted tourism needs to be applied to the supporting the tourists. Now, if you ask me, our best chance of tourism is promoting to the People of Earth: “Come to Milwaukee!”

I say that in the most generous sense of the sentence. If you want to travel to Milwaukee, we would love to have you here no matter where you are from, but all my Earth friends would really like it here. The Plutonians on the other hand, they prefer touring Utqiagvik, Alaska.

What can I tell you? I smoke, and I know things

The tourism that will be happening here in Riverwest is gritty

I just had to switch sides of the table

Because I was hot as fuck sitting in the sun over there

I could have showed up here wearing much less. I forgot how poorly I am able to deal with cold weather! I always overdress. Always. Always. Always have I overdressed, and honestly I don’t see how I will ever change! I am sitting by the door so the cold air coming and going is regulating things a little for me. Anyway, back to zee Germans.

The tourist that enjoys Milwaukee, is the curious tourist. This is only speaking on an international sense.

The first time I left the United States, I flew directly to India, because I have a curiosity that can only be quenched with mental anguish. When I tell other people about my journey, I tell them: “India was hard, but I loved it, and I cannot wait to go back! However, for most people, I recommend starting in Thailand.”

If that statement makes you want to visit India, then you might enjoy Milwaukee.

If that statement makes you want to visit China, then you probably won’t enjoy Milwaukee.

If the statement makes you want to visit Thailand, then you should plan your trip revolving around Chicago, but I highly suggest you make a day trip to Milwaukee, because it’s a lot easier than going from Chiang Mai to Kolkata.

Unlike South East Aisa, or most places for that matter, The United States is, well, united. If you are in Chicago you do not need any special paperwork to come see Milwaukee. If you are in Thailand, you do need special paperwork to visit both India and China; even Laos or Cambodia for that matter.

When you are in Chicago and want to come to Milwaukee, a different state with a different culture and set of values, you just do it!

You could walk from Chiraq to Killwaukee if you damn well pleased.

This espresso is making me sweat hella bad, but I knew that would be the case before I ordered it. They have a very light roast here, and honestly I like the taste of a light roast better, but I usually order a dark roast because my body handles it better. The air is filled with the sounds of old country music. I heard Johnny Cash before;%&would you look at that! I tried to Shazam it but [I’m guessing] the sound of my typing was too loud; I had to look up the lyrics. Only moments before all this, the air was filled with Willie Nelson, singing Blackjack Country Chain. Very nifty vibes here. But damn this espresso is fucking me up lol. Yall would love it!

Soon, I will be again: stoned. Idk where the plug is at, but, I have a strong feeling we will meet up. What will that bring to me? See, one thing you can know forsure; no! Two things you can know forsure: drinking a beer at 09:00 any day of the week is acceptable in Milwaukee, and I wouldn’t be found anywhere that smoking cannabis wasn’t common af. So, in coming here, know that you also can enjoy the simple pleasures. The coffee is pretty good too. I suppose I will have to visit a couple of the other spots and make some comparisons, but this is the closest place to Cream City Hostel, so if you end up there I find it likely you will end up here.

What is my move? I am wet lol. The cold air will make me frigid. It has been decided that I will talk to _______ about my idea of “Tourism Doesn’t Start in Hotels. Tourism Starts in Hostels” before I proceed with sending out any emails, or contacting any new stations. Not only do I want to avoid misplacing her blessings in me, but also I think her input [and thusly her teams input], will be invaluable to our collective mission of bringing tourism to Milwaukee. Most people in America, and subsequently Wisconsin, don’t know what a hostel is, and this means we need to increase tourism two-fold. Not only do we need to get the Europeans to show up, but we also need to educate the young people of America about Hosteling!

This sweating situation if getting a little crazy. I wouldn’t be surprised it my back looks hella wet right now lol, but, I am not here to stay dry.

I am here to work for the hostel.

Honestly, until my arrival, I thought I was only here to visit Milwaukee, but now it is clear, I am working with the hostel! Cream City Hostel is legitimately one of the best vibes I have experienced at a hostel. I lived in Milwaukee in 2012, and back then this building was a non-operational school [apparently the district was using it for storage]. It might have been a preschool… I remember seeing young kids playing in the back all the time…unless I am misremembering; the people affiliated with this building tell me I am misremembering.

The playground is still here! At some point in time [even if I am misremembering], a group of fun-loving kids left behind some residual vibes. Those vibes help make Cream City Hostel what it is, and it’s seriously worth checking out.

pause to take it all in

My understanding of cities has changed so much since I left this place [my home]!

My nerves haven’t changed though lol. I don’t think I am going to leave the neighborhood much, and I’ll probably leave the city even less. Right now I am going to take my sweaty ass on a walk!; throw on the headphones, and just soak in the mke vibes for a second. Apparently I am going to be restless until I scoop up the dodie.

Ahh! Back to normal.

x. Spark Twain

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Why can’t I figure out how to make money so I can pay rent?

Life is anything but easy right now. I’m in Wisconsin, but I desperately don’t want to be. Until further notice I can only seem to attribute my actions to one goal: return to San Francisco.

I feel like I’m going a little crazy here, actually. Back at my mothers house…I haven’t lived with my mother since I was 17, and even then I never really spent much time in the house. In the morning we would leave fairly quickly to go to school, which was 20 miles away in a different town, and then after school I would go to my grandparents for a couple of hours, which was really an enjoyable experience; good vibes at my grandparents house. Finally, at the “end of the day” my mother would pick me up and we would go home. Home was the worst. Home still is the worst. Deep down I am very scared that nothing is going to work out, and I am going to end up miserable forever. But at the same time, that seems unlikely because I have come a long way, and there have been times in recent history I have been quite happy.

Idk.

I just don’t know what to do.

I know that I should be taking this time to write a book, that way, once quarantine is over, I have something to go around and talk about; something to sell.

That’s it. That’s the fucking method and I know it is.

Will I succeed? I’m not sure. I can’t tell if I should leave Wisconsin or not. I really hate it here. If I could use a stronger word than hate, I would. I’m not sure what the meaning of life is anymore. And my back hurts more and more every day.

Spark Twain

UPDATE! I almost figured out how to pay the rent!

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Cream City Hostel 25

The time is 06:26 on March 3rd, 2020, and I am listening to the Business Casual episode with Mark Cuban. He is going to end up being president, and he will have my vote. Very uplifting to listen to this guy this morning. I have been starting my day with Kinsey Grant nearly everyday recently, and it’s been going pretty well. True however, that I need to move some different podcasts into my regiment.

He is, of course, talking about being an entrepreneur, and it’s getting me pumped! [It’s a little hard to write over this talking lol] Yesterday I did a little more work on ASMR.Community, and I am just…I am just feeling oh so hopeful about that venture. My biggest problem, I have long thought, is lack of guidance. What I am going to do today is find an ASMR artist to contribute written material, and hopefully I will even end up with multiple artists contributing. I wish I had a larger platform for them to exercise their opinions on, but we will get there! I need to know that, and when I write emails to these artists [or just hit them up in ig] I need to ooze confidence in my success on the idea. I’m not only talking myself up on this, but I am also talking to you directly, and I am telling you directly that at 27 years, I have realized: overthinking is the enemy.

Often times I will enter unto an ongoing situation, and I will be drawn to opinions and judgments immediately. However! I will not take these sensory observations as fact from the cusp, and instead I will think “no no no. This is their situation. They must know better than I.” Time and time again, it is proven that my simple observations were correct from the git. To that? I think gtfo 😎.

The time is 06:40, and I brought my computer downstairs this morning so I could sit and wait for the french press. Usually I let that thing steep for like an hour, but yesterday I realized that’s why my coffee is always so strong. Today will be a shorter brew time. How long has it been? I started it just before I sat down to start writing. Okay…like 15 minutes lol. Way to long!

Mark Cuban says we need to start learning AI because it’s going to have a bigger impact on business than the internet or mobile computing.

“If you want to get an edge, learn A.I. Teach yourself how to do a little three layer Java script neural network, it’s not that hard.” – mcuban

You heard that right! You know, my grandmother was very connected with pop culture, and she watched Shark Tank a lot, and she thought very highly of Mark Cuban.

This morning, I was thinking the thought: “Who do I write for,” and I realized quickly that the answer is: stoners. I am pretty sure that people who smoke weed would be the first people interested in the knowledge I have. When I go on ig, I see these bodybuilders posting photos with captions like: “this morning’s aftermath,” and it’s a picture of all their sweat on the ground. Me? I wake up, play on my phone a little, and then smoke a joint. For months I have been working to build a running habit, but still, I only run on occasion. Am I proud of my life? The short answer is fuck yes. The long answer has to do with alcoholism, love, travel, and belief. And no, I do not believe in god.

Google pushed an article to me this morning about how Elon Musk has the superpower of being indestractive. Apparently he plans out every minute of his day, and he sticks to it. In my head, I have long longed for living a life so stark and powerful. The truth, and the reality I paint with it, are pretty far from the rigidity of Elon’s life. Comparative to many of the people I meet, I wake up much earlier, and for this reason I sometimes feel I have an advantage. An old dude once told me that “it’s only going to get earlier,” which I think means that in 20-30 years I’ll be waking up at 3am lol. bow hao!

The time is 07:05, and my coffee is weak af this morning. It’s my fault! I forgot I only put in half the amount of grounds…and the water! I remembered only at ⅔ full today’s difference. Tbh it’s surprising I remembered at all lol. I roasted a phatty this morning, and you know what? I am already thinking of roasting another one. I am wondering how good this weed is that I have, and damn…I have a fuck load of it lol. I am going to keep blowing it down, no doubt, but I’ve prolly blown like 4 or 5 grams already. I haven’t even smoked a bowl, I’ve only smoked joints! I’m doing this new thing, which is something I might have tried before…I can’t actually imagine if I had kept it up from 2011 or whatever, but this is what I am doing: I am putting my last roach, into my new joint, and I am going to do this over and over again, and it’s like…the smoke gets older, you know? Some of the resin from that first joint is still there, somewhere. As long as you don’t smoke it 100% of the way down; even a dollop’ll do ya! I’m like 10+ joints into this venture. I’m not counting or whatever, but if it gets to be 100 deep, I am sure I will sense that vibe. If I was still doing this at 65 I’d be like 10k joints deep! See, once I buy my own house though, then I will be able to start adventures like that with certainty, because as long as one keeps making payments on their house, they will have long term stability. The time is 07:11, and I am wondering wtf to do, which is all wrong, because the answer is: work on some ASMR stuff, ya dig?

Spark Twain

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Noah Kalina is the GOAT

Do you remember the video on YouTube with the guy who took a picture of himself everyday for six years? Well he’s back!

When I saw that video was published 13 years ago? 😦😵😮😬😫😩😚🙃

Yesterday however, I came across a brand new video, titled: Noah takes a photo of himself every day for 20 years. Watch Below!

Noah is bettering humanity with this project. There must be other people taking a picture of themselves everyday, but right now, this guy is the dude. Eventually there will be parents that begin photographing there child at birth, taking a photograph everyday, until eventually the responsibility will be passed onto the child. The sad fact about humanity, is that not all of those people will finish out the dreams their parents had for them. Some will however, and in 250 years, when one wants to watch an entire life summed up in 30 minutes or less, I do not believe they will look to Noah.

When I first began writing this article, I was going to take the approach that Noah was going to go down in history; that his set of photographs would be the one that became most viewed. Quickly however, I opened up my mind to the realization that someday, someone’s life, from birth to death, will be photographed in the same fashion that Noah is doing, I realized the first person to do that will go down in history. At the rate humanity is growing, and communicating, the old are forgotten in favor of the new quite quickly. Noah will be here forever, but will his lifetime be the one they show in schools? Not in 250 years, almost certainly.

If humanity can make another 250 years on this earth, do you think we will make it forever? My hopes are high!

One thing about the video, is the music. It’s quite downtrodden. I wish Nosh would post a version of his video with Mac Demarco playing as the background music, you know? Everyone in the comment’s is saying this man looks sad, and the music is not helping.

Okay! When I went back to grab the link for Noah Kalina, I found the video below.

Now, first things first: the fact that Lotte is a collage of videos and Noah is a collage of photographs; the vibes are just different. I can’t tell which I like better. It was very strange to watch that person grow from a baby into an adult, and it was also weird to think about how the video [and the families YouTube channel] might have effected the subject of the video. How concerned about her appearances do you think that girl was? Or maybe, still is. I’d love to meet her and hear her side of the story. She’s from Nederland, so hopefully she blows dodie af.

Whoaaa lol, check out this Noah dude’s website. It’s a trip. It’s so simple. That man is probably living a good life, and I do wonder how he got there.

Okay, so I found this interview online, and it’s actually a very good view into him as a person, and also, his photography is fucking good. Seriously. His photographs make me feel things! My favorite one from that interview is the one with Reggie Watts.

Lately I have been thinking I need to do more with photography and video in regards to Spark Twain, but also the Cream City Hostel. I have been considering hitting up my friend Ryan to get some of that done…everyone has time right now.

One last thing I found that yall might enjoy. This playlist.

Spark Twain

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You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo! After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

Cream City Hostel 19

The time is 04:30 and I woke up over an hour ago. I laid in bed for a while, eyes closed, pondering life; I haven’t been feeling as good in the mornings as of late. I believe it to be my diet. Currently I write to you from the dining area of the Cream City Hostel, on the opposite side of the room as the kitchen. My coffee cup is full, and it says Alaska on it. The pleasure I get from choosing a coffee cup in the morning at a hostel…that must be one of those “little things” I have always heard about.

Today is a day for organizing. Spring cleaning! My website needs to be changed up a little. If you haven’t heard me speak on it before, I own 17 websites. None of them turn me a profit, but it is something I am working on.

Often times I fall into the same expression of thought, which is: I should put all my liquidated-eggs in the ‘Spark Twain’ basket, and then eventually I can use that brand to plug my other endeavors. There are reasons to establish my career in that direction, including that I write heavily to this blog, but also I have been going in this direction for awhile already. It is true that when I go back and read my blog, sometimes I am impressed, and sometimes I am bored-to-death, but I believe in trusting the process. For this, the process includes: be myself, keep writing, work harder everyday, and don’t make the same mistakes twice [I fuck the last two up routinely].

At 27, after traveling the world, and establishing confidence about who I am as a person, I am ready to work hard at something, and I know I could work hard in any direction! However I want to succeed! As you may or may not know, I am all about achevable goals.

With the work I have already put in, I am confident that is I put 1000 hours of sales work into my Spark Twain brand, that shit’ll sell. Awe shittlesticks, that shit’ll sell like toilet paper on a pandemic’s eve! Right off the shelf I tell you! I think getting my friend Will to help me promote is a keen move. I have been meaning to ask him how he is;
Hope all is well Will! I think I’ll text you right now.

The coffee is okay. I shouldn’t have added that last splash of water probably. But you know what? I figured I would rather have hella weak coffee, than slim strong coffee. Ya dig?

In the future, all digging will be done by robots. Someday, some company is going to build a robot that digs holes, and it’s gonna dig a hole, and they’re gonna say: “That’s the last hole man will ever dig!”

Nonono! That’s some shit outta the 50’s. In my head, the guy saying that was illustrated with dots, lol.

They are gonna say: “We don’t know who dug the first hole, but we will know who digs the last!”

Seriously! There will be a day that nobody digs holes, like, with a fucking shovel!

Meh…actually…You know what? I stand corrected.

I am positive that the evolution of humanity is allowing us to see clearly any possible discord brought by robotic assistance, both physically and mentally, and so I feel that people will always, occasionally, for ole’ times sake and to keep the balance of Talos in tact, dig their own fucking holes.

Fuck man, this coffee is hitting me like a ricochet bullet. That shit’ll fuck you up! You better watch out, you better not cry, because Canta Slause feeds on fear, and you=============this is your left, that’s your left. This is your left, that’s your left. This is your left, that’s your left. This is your right. You’re gonna die.

You ever get that feeling like the elevator ghost is going to show up in a couple of minutes [it never did]? There was a light outside, I noticed it when I first sat down, but it isn’t on anymore I know the street lights didn’t turn off, because I see some light from those. I wonder what light was on, it was hella bright! It could have just been somebody’s headlights, but that means it was only ever here for a couple of seconds. Not the right angle to be someone at the stop light. Someone could have been parked on the side of the building, I suppose…Meh. Not worth thinking about.

I am a piece of toast in the wind right now, and I need to reach a butter place.

It is not only cold in this basement, but dryer than two sacks of gravel. The time is 05:00 on the dot!!! Time to reorganize my website, consume a smoothie, and get ready to take hella boxes outside today. Let’s do it!

Spark Twain

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You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo! After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!