Philosophy of Addiction Recovery 1

In an effort to help people overcome addiction, I have been putting my full thought into how the industry of addiction recovery exists currently.

The methods I used to overcome alcoholism are aggressive, but only in the sense that they are unusual. For some individuals I recommend they overhaul every aspect of their life in order to propel change. This is an overstatement, but it’s better to overstate than understate when it comes to addiction.

There is so much stuff to do in this life! Think about all the daydreams you have about all the places you want to go. If you are a user of drugs or alcohol, I ask: do those daydreams coincide with using of said drugs or alcohol? If the answer is yes, I want you to expand your vision. There are different kinds of addictions that exist in this world, and some swallow you whole more than others. Many people might admit to having a coffee addiction, and that level of admittance is a variable by which we can measure how negatively impactful a substance is upon humanity.
How many people admit to using heroin?
How many people admit to eating mushrooms?

Heroin might someday be decriminalized, but it will never be condoned.

Psychedelic mushrooms on the other hand have recently become decriminalized in three U.S. Cities: Denver, CO, as well as Santa Cruz and Oakland, CA. This is a powerful statement from the people of America: “We understand this substance to be of no danger to society.”

We all know how the story of cannabis legalization goes. We are living it!

Me? I ate mushrooms prior to becoming an alcoholic, and perhaps the spiritual awakening I received from my 2 or 3 times eating psychedelic mushrooms played a factor in how I went about overcoming my addictions.

I want to tell you exactly how I did it; I want to tell you exactly how I overcame alcoholism. BUT! The story is – the story’s not over! Do I think I will ever go back to drinking alcohol? Not in a million years! I honestly believe that when it comes to alcohol addiction I have my sobriety down-pat. I specify alcohol addiction because I know I will never rid myself addiction fully, but for the benefit of my happiness I shed what commiserates me. I am a human not to be commiserated! This is the attitude I wield everyday, and with great effort! Who would I be to do what makes me unhappy?

When I was younger, all I knew was working at restaurants, and the amount of money I received seemed not worth my time [until I got to San Francisco]. What did I do instead of looking for something better? I drank alcohol! From 21 years old to 24 years old, I drank alcohol because it made me happy. It made me fucking happy! What more can I say? People would ask me if I was depressed, and I would get frustrated, because I didn’t feel depressed, necessarily, but! I did feel like I was falling behind in life. Down the road, lemme tell you: that feeling of falling behind in life? It leaves an unforgivable aftertaste.

So I was drinking, right? And I was drinking because it made life habitable. When I was drunk, work was not so miserable, and that was a fact I lived with everyday. I now know it was my misguided ambitions that put me on that road to failure. To tell you exactly why I became an addict is to tell you why I like the color purple. For some things, there is no why, only when.

This “when” is monumentally important. The last thing I want to turn into is some dude that goes around to highschool’s and gives speeches on alcoholism and addiction, but damn if I don’t think that recognizing the signs of addiction, and trusting mine [and everyones!], advice to avoid addiction is better then dealing with the problem after the fact.

Nothing is enjoyable without using drugs Twain, what do I do?”

The answer is simple as it is disappointing: Change Everything.

Change your hair from brown to blue if you think it will make you happy. Ahh! But remember, you must juggle the triage of life as you proceed. This means that if you can’t have blue hair at work, and you also can’t afford to ditch your job, you can not turn your hair from brown to blue.

Okay then…”

Blue hair wasn’t the move anyway. Unless it is! Then it’s the fucking move! But what about…uhh, what about learning something new? Is that a thing you’re interested in? Because I’ll tell you: allowing yourself to learn a new skill and gain new knowledge whilst simultaneously fighting addiction, can create a viciously powerful cycling effect that the enlightened call: Holding Yourself to a High Standard.

Holding Yourself to a High Standard is the type of thing that those individuals you look up to do, and it’s how they achieve their massive gains. Be it mentally, socially, economically, or physically, gains are achieved through hard work and consistency. Many people buy a gym membership lowkey using the membership [and it’s cost] as a catalyst to start working out. Mhm, does it work for everyone? But it does work for some people, right? Well, I believe it only works for those that make changes in other aspects of their life in tandem. Going to the gym is nothing without first abolishing fast food from your life, or actually spending the hard-time thinking about what makes you happy. Will going to the gym make you happy? If so, you might be ready to commit to a membership! Albeit, there are also individuals who might test themselves by excising in a park for a period of time to test the waters about their commitment; I think such is a healthy practice.

For those who desire to overcome addiction, I think enrolling at University is the most extreme catalyst one could thrust themselves into. That, or the military.

x. Spark Twain

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Cream City Hostel 25

The time is 06:26 on March 3rd, 2020, and I am listening to the Business Casual episode with Mark Cuban. He is going to end up being president, and he will have my vote. Very uplifting to listen to this guy this morning. I have been starting my day with Kinsey Grant nearly everyday recently, and it’s been going pretty well. True however, that I need to move some different podcasts into my regiment.

He is, of course, talking about being an entrepreneur, and it’s getting me pumped! [It’s a little hard to write over this talking lol] Yesterday I did a little more work on ASMR.Community, and I am just…I am just feeling oh so hopeful about that venture. My biggest problem, I have long thought, is lack of guidance. What I am going to do today is find an ASMR artist to contribute written material, and hopefully I will even end up with multiple artists contributing. I wish I had a larger platform for them to exercise their opinions on, but we will get there! I need to know that, and when I write emails to these artists [or just hit them up in ig] I need to ooze confidence in my success on the idea. I’m not only talking myself up on this, but I am also talking to you directly, and I am telling you directly that at 27 years, I have realized: overthinking is the enemy.

Often times I will enter unto an ongoing situation, and I will be drawn to opinions and judgments immediately. However! I will not take these sensory observations as fact from the cusp, and instead I will think “no no no. This is their situation. They must know better than I.” Time and time again, it is proven that my simple observations were correct from the git. To that? I think gtfo 😎.

The time is 06:40, and I brought my computer downstairs this morning so I could sit and wait for the french press. Usually I let that thing steep for like an hour, but yesterday I realized that’s why my coffee is always so strong. Today will be a shorter brew time. How long has it been? I started it just before I sat down to start writing. Okay…like 15 minutes lol. Way to long!

Mark Cuban says we need to start learning AI because it’s going to have a bigger impact on business than the internet or mobile computing.

“If you want to get an edge, learn A.I. Teach yourself how to do a little three layer Java script neural network, it’s not that hard.” – mcuban

You heard that right! You know, my grandmother was very connected with pop culture, and she watched Shark Tank a lot, and she thought very highly of Mark Cuban.

This morning, I was thinking the thought: “Who do I write for,” and I realized quickly that the answer is: stoners. I am pretty sure that people who smoke weed would be the first people interested in the knowledge I have. When I go on ig, I see these bodybuilders posting photos with captions like: “this morning’s aftermath,” and it’s a picture of all their sweat on the ground. Me? I wake up, play on my phone a little, and then smoke a joint. For months I have been working to build a running habit, but still, I only run on occasion. Am I proud of my life? The short answer is fuck yes. The long answer has to do with alcoholism, love, travel, and belief. And no, I do not believe in god.

Google pushed an article to me this morning about how Elon Musk has the superpower of being indestractive. Apparently he plans out every minute of his day, and he sticks to it. In my head, I have long longed for living a life so stark and powerful. The truth, and the reality I paint with it, are pretty far from the rigidity of Elon’s life. Comparative to many of the people I meet, I wake up much earlier, and for this reason I sometimes feel I have an advantage. An old dude once told me that “it’s only going to get earlier,” which I think means that in 20-30 years I’ll be waking up at 3am lol. bow hao!

The time is 07:05, and my coffee is weak af this morning. It’s my fault! I forgot I only put in half the amount of grounds…and the water! I remembered only at ⅔ full today’s difference. Tbh it’s surprising I remembered at all lol. I roasted a phatty this morning, and you know what? I am already thinking of roasting another one. I am wondering how good this weed is that I have, and damn…I have a fuck load of it lol. I am going to keep blowing it down, no doubt, but I’ve prolly blown like 4 or 5 grams already. I haven’t even smoked a bowl, I’ve only smoked joints! I’m doing this new thing, which is something I might have tried before…I can’t actually imagine if I had kept it up from 2011 or whatever, but this is what I am doing: I am putting my last roach, into my new joint, and I am going to do this over and over again, and it’s like…the smoke gets older, you know? Some of the resin from that first joint is still there, somewhere. As long as you don’t smoke it 100% of the way down; even a dollop’ll do ya! I’m like 10+ joints into this venture. I’m not counting or whatever, but if it gets to be 100 deep, I am sure I will sense that vibe. If I was still doing this at 65 I’d be like 10k joints deep! See, once I buy my own house though, then I will be able to start adventures like that with certainty, because as long as one keeps making payments on their house, they will have long term stability. The time is 07:11, and I am wondering wtf to do, which is all wrong, because the answer is: work on some ASMR stuff, ya dig?

Spark Twain

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Barbary Coast, December 10th, 2019

I am writing to you from Barbary Coast Dispensary, and I have been coming here pretty much everyday after work for like a week now, and they have been letting me in straightaway, but today I felt the first sign of friction. Nothing bad to say about that. On the contrary, I am happy they aren’t just letting people in. However, I do wonder how long I will have to keep showing up before they remember me. Okay. Time to smoke. 

 

Bong rip = successful. I am a little sweaty today, but not much I can much do about that. Today, I deal. I thought about going home instead of coming here. I could have taken a shower and come back out, but that isn’t how it went down lol. I decided to just come right on over. Good choice, I think. Yesterday I met Kalen, but I doubt he is going to rove through today. In fact, since I am thinking about going home to shower anyway, I will let him chill. Idk what it is with today, but anxiety is here. Probably when I get home and shower I won’t even come back out. Just stay in for the night. 

 

Holy shit I am supposed to do laundry. Lameee if I had thought about that I would have just gone home. I need a better way to keep track of my daily tasks. I just do it all in my head, and that’s not going well for me. Seriously. Okay. Well, I’m gonna puff another bowl and then hit the road. The time is 14:41 on December 10th, 2019. Peace from Barbary Coast. 

Spark Twain

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After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

MBSB 12

Did I tell you about this girl I sat next to on the bus this weekend? I don’t recall her getting on the bus, but I do remember the first time I saw her calves. She was wearing some skin tight Lulu’s and a grey New Balance. She doesn’t have to go to Starbucks for me to like her, especially if she rides Muni, and when you get on the back door with a body like that I’m going to sit down next to you. I have done this only a handful of times in my life. Maybe ten. Ten times I have sat down next to a girl on the bus and talked to her.

 

At first I was just hoping she would get off at the same stop as me, but too many times in my life have I watched a girl walk away, and for two days after thought “damn! I should’ve talked to that girl.” Eventually I realized there was nothing wrong with taking my only chance I’ll ever get to talk to this woman, and on the contrary everything felt right about it. I had already filmed a video that morning talking about how the pockets of my new raincoat filled with water when it rained the previous day. So I got up, switched seats so I was positioned to her left side. I bumped into her presumably large butt on the way down, and that was as good as things ever got for me. I said “How long have you had that jacket? I just bought mine, and when it rained last night the pockets filled with water.” 

 

The fact that I don’t remember what she said, makes me think I wasn’t approaching the situation right in the first place. Either way, she shut me down immediately. She answered my question politely, but continued to look away from me after initial eye contact [she looked toward the front of the bus at 45 degrees all ride, and I was seated to her other 45]. Several chinese ladies were staring at us. I said something neutral, that I thought was polite, like “Well, Thanks. Have a nice day.” Then I moved back to my original seat for 10 seconds before the bus stopped at Union Street and I made a split decision to get off the bus. Crossing the street in front of the bus, I pulled out my selfie stick and began to film. Video will be on the Spark Twain YT channel eventually.

Spark Twain

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You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

MBSB 8 [Thanksgiving deux+ Black Friday]

Thanksgiving 2019 Two

 

I am writing to you from Happy Donuts in Chinatown. Behind me are two men playing chess. Always it has been, that I cited this place as “in North Beach,” but I am changing my view of that. I consider North Beach to be north of Broadway Street…plus the north side of Columbus down to the Kearney/Pacific/Columbus intersection. What this means is, Happy Donuts isn’t in North Beach. Okay…so I have been making that mistake for a long time, lol. Even after I realized my folly, I had to decide if this was Jackson Square or Chinatown. It’s Chinatown. I can see two coffee shops in my field of vision: The Station, and Revolute. I have only been to the former of those, and even then only because the hostel paid for it. This place that I am inside of, is different than those two places. Happy Donuts is open, for starters.

 

Happy Thanksgiving AFTER DARK. [I’m editing this the next day. Still dark]

 

Seriously, it is dark in San Francisco. I love this city. I do not love where I live. Today was tumultus. I got in a fight with my roommate. It wasn’t actually a fight, it was more just me yelling at him for a bit because he was drinking. Things are so much different than they were last year. What about the year before that? I have known this motherfucker for two years now, and here we are, Thanksgiving 2019 and I literally had to part ways with him shortly after we met up, because I knew it was destined that he would get too drunk for my liking. It sucks, and lately it’s been everyday. What am I to do? I like my rent situation, but only because I don’t make enough money to move past this situation. The obvious solution is for me to move out [and remain friends with my roommate]. Therein lies the problem of which I don’t catcha-da-guap to catcha-da-spot. Catcha-da-drift, Aye?

 

About 15:45 I got home and my guy was laid in the hay. Soon as I zipped in, my phone died. What was I to do? I plugged it in, but I didn’t turn it on right away. I thought about it though. I waited till 5%. There I lay until it occured to me that I desired ASMR, and so I tuned into Raffy Taffy via Spotify. A little bird told me to do it…!@# I listened Raffy do his thing for about thirty minutes, and then I decided to be a go-getter!; I rolled a joint and left the house.

 

When it comes to opening this business of mine, I am feeling…lost. BUT! Not for long. I have a meeting this week. This sit-down feels a little out of my comfort zone, but will potentially be one of my more progressive encounters. Yesterday I wrote about how I need to find more business-orientated people to surround myself with. Today I feel the same. So excited am I to attend events. Why am I sitting here writing this?! Oh…because I am disorganized. How do I overcome this hurdle? It is fully required that I sell some shirts. I need a computer. Which means I need to figure out when I get my credit card securities back…I will hold onto the money, but also I will get a bump in credit. Hopefully enough to get a dope computer! I did make the mistake of applying for, and getting accepted to, Dell financing, which I haven’t used. I actually haven’t even confirmed my account. I will just use my ole-fashioned credit card. Did I say that? Lol. I guess for the financing I have to get ahold of them and get them to resend the confirmation letter, because I had it sent to my work, but then the letter never arrived. I originally did the whole thing because I got excited about a computer Dell had on sale. I missed the sale, and figured I would use the financing in the future, but then I foolishly never figured it out. I leave so many things unfinished. It’s something I will cease as time moves forward, but it sure it a slow process. 

 

[close the acct. that’s the move]

 

How many times do I write the same thing over and over and over again before it fade from frame of my retention? Is this writing I do, ‘stream of consciousness’ writing? I really only heard about that style since I came to San Francisco. The answer is that I need to read more, and I can make that determination for myself. 

 

The time is now 19:12, and I am still at Happy Donuts. I bought coffee. Just a small coffee…and a glazed-fucking-twist; just took a bite of the same. The time is now 19:14. Some weird ole painish type thing just reared up in my right leg. Damn. I wonder if it’s cuz I’m eating all this sugar. You know, my Grandpa had to get his first bypass surgery in his…forties. Let’s say forties to keep him aged. I am worried it could be worse. In this moment I am thinking about calling him. I wish I could keep the screen up while I did such a thing, but my screen is my phone these days. I also want to chug around online a little and look at all the deal available. Sweatpants, two pairs of shoes, and headphones. I know what I need. Mmmkay, that being said, I think I am going to turn to the internet. Peace! For now.

 

*    *    *

 

05:40 the following day. MBSB. I got 125 bonus pts from Starbucks today because I completed my first ‘challenge.’ For this one I bought three required items, and they were items I buy on a usual basis anyway. I am thinking the rewards cycle, eventually coming to work in every flavor-niche’s favor. Today I went h.a.m. I bought 1 overnight oats, 1 green juice, and one Ethos water, 

 

Idk if I mentioned it yesterday, but I found out that Starbucks sells water bottled in Lafayette, Wisconsin. Woo! On Wisconsin! 

 

Today is the busiest shopping day of the year in America. I recently found out that China has something similar. This year it fell on Veterans day. I’m not sure if that will happen every year or not. 

 

Did you know that the day before Thanksgiving is the busiest bar day of the year? At least in Wisconsin. Let me check this out online and see if I can back it up. Oh yeah! If you just type “busiest bar night of the year” into Google, it says “Thanksgiving Eve.” My mom told me that tidbit of information growing up. I’ve known it for over 10 years.

 

A whole decade. I remember being 17…it doesn’t feel tooooo long ago. 

 

It was. 

 

What was I getting into at 17? Not…much. Was I all fucked up by that point? Holy shit my memory is bad. I remember that I drove to school my final year, and I believe I spent my last year of highschool living at my Grandparents part-time? Actually, I drove to school from Westbend pretty often. Parked next to my moms car overnight. I graduated highschool a semester early, so this would have been…my final semester. Right now I’d be on Thanksgiving break.

 

I didn’t get my license until I was 17. At this point my license has been suspended for…34 months. I have been left Wisconsin for 30 months.

 

Seventeen years old though…that was a long, long time ago. I was working at North Hills Country Club 10 years ago. Karleigh got me the job. That’s also where we both met Big Al. That job taught me a lot about life, and especially about what rich people live like. They’d be getting drunk in the front. and we’d be getting drunk in the back. Pretty sure that’s against policy now. I would eventually go on to fuck my co-workers over. We’re talking years after I was 17. I worked two Valentine’s days at that job. 2009, and 2014. Valentines day 2014 I got drunk, and convinced my co-worker to walk out with me at the end of the night. Pretty sure the chefs were there cleaning dishes until 2 in the morning. Chef Mike was a friend of mine, until I did that to him. Sad days. I still feel bad about that, of course. 

 

Some say I should have ‘gotten it over with’ at 17 and all incidents as such would have been avoided. 

 

Some say it’s never too late…

 

Joking about suicide was all fun until I got this mole-thing on my arm. I have since seen a doctor. I wrote about that, right?, but it progresses still, and it freaks me out still. I need to take another picture of my lil growth. Done! The doctor told me that I should take pictures, and so I am doing that [and writing about it!]. 

 

The time is now 06:48. At Starbucks I will remain for a while more. Then I will go shopping. I am thinking about all the different things I could buy today. I know four key items I need. I talked about them already. 

 

Right now…I am going to put the keyboard away and surf the internet for awhile before I head out of Starbucks. I was already doing a little of that, but then I decided to wrap this session up. Maybe I will even edit and post it? Seems like the move. 

 

Spark Twain

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You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have not posted anything to my blog since I bought my bluetooth keyboard, even though I have written several pages worth of material. Today it’s Starbucks on Beach and Hyde, 04:25 in the afternoon. Tuesday. November 26, 2019. I feel stuck. I have written about “getting unstuck” in the past. Anyone can get stuck, and for many different reasons. I believe I need to find “the right people” if I am to get unstuck.

 

What do I mean by this? Well, I have my core group of buddies; the people with which 

I hangout. However, since I am not starting a rockband, and instead I am starting a business, my circle of friends is not cutting it. I need more. Without cutting anyone out, I simply need to build a larger circle. ‘Business orientated friendships’ is a phrase that comes to mind. I have my fucking dudes. I got my brothers. I got my close friends. Kalen. Casey. Jared. DL. Big Al. Rashod. If I left you out, let’s change that for next time, because I am expanding the circle.

 

Perhaps I would have been better to befriend Ike, than hurl questioning rock at the fortitude of his public image. The man is taking a trip to Thailand with a team of thirteen other individuals, and they are going to build a kitchen in a remote village. A true humanitarian! As we must all be, also a capitalist, he will receive partial compensation in the form of followers-gained. Though the locomotion that is his skill as a craftsman, Ike is trading his art directly for a trip to Thailand. Selling for between $200 and $450 on his etsy site, he asking a reasonable compensation for his labor. This is considering his video, and his transparency about where the funds are going. Of course I am excited to follow his journey! and in the meantime, what more have I to say? I have really been thinking long and hard about the differences between Ike and myself. He uses the hashtag #bornwithtoomuch, and I think I missed the weight of that statement the first several times I came across it.

 

A man born in the same town as me, and he claims to be born with too much. 

 

If you know me, you know I consider myself to be born with too little. I want so much out of this life! Sad-but-true I have squandered a decent portion of my youth. Drowned my late teens and early twenties in bad habits. Hindsight is clear. I had little direction, I now know. Mix that with a knack for swerving authority, responsibility, and good advice. *tisktisk* 

 

Born with too much, you say…

 

I have long thought Menomonee Falls to be a magical place. 

 

When I came to San Francisco I met a girl from my highschool, working at the hostel I just moved in to. Small world. That was the first thing I thought. Further pondering changed my opinion. My highschool, and that little town I come from, [which is actually the largest village in the United States (if you’re savvy)] must be unique in someway. It took confidence to come to that conclusion! If Menomonee Falls is great, this means there are places which are not-great. Unfortunate conclusion of mortality is that we are sometimes stuck with the ‘luck of the draw’. 

 

Ike is doing something about that. Have you ever been to Thailand? The people who grow up in these villages don’t possess the skillset to build themselves a kitchen, much less the money to execute such a feat. I applaud what he is doing, and I respect his ability to trust the process. A panoid individual like myself is forced to develop his own process, but I will try and learn from Ike, as he himself learns from his travels.

 

I fancy I am penning a mighty good article right now. The time is 18:40 and I am still at Starbucks on Beach and Hyde. You and I both can’t believe how much I’ve fallen in love with Starbucks, but you know what? It’s Murica’ as fuuuuu

 

Most days I feel like I have accomplished nothing. We are about to find out, as I go on to publish this article before I leave Starbucks tonight, if today is an accomplish-something day or not. Either way it is undeniable that I am prepared af for whatever situation arises. If I suddenly need to start setting aside blocks of four or five hours aside to get some work done, I am well practiced. One time I spent nine straight hours at Union Street Coffee Roastery. Presumably I was writing, and those words are probably part of the [still unpublished] Bob’s Donuts Chronicles. That was the longest stretch I have done at a coffee shop. That day was epic because I worked twelve hours after my coffee shop stint. Good ole MAC’D days. 

 

The time is 18:49. Another hour and eleven minutes before they tell me to leave. I could leave earlier. If I wanted to wake up at 03:00 and go to MBSB then I would want to wrap it up right now and go home. That sounds perfect except for that I am a little hungry. No mind! I am not stressed about the situation. I will surely wake up and go to work tomorrow, and then I will surely have four days free from work. What in the world will I get up to? Oh shit! I need to buy shoes. It’s going to be Black Friday! I will find myself occupied with my days off, I am sure. Just gotta make sure I don’t buy anything foolish. What I need is a computer, but I hardly believe, with any merit, that I will buy one this weekend. 

 

*    *    *

 

The time is 06:41 on Thanksgiving, and I am writing to you from Starbucks on Beach and Hyde in San Francisco. In front of me sits a hot pour, 700ml of Ethos water, and a sausage sandwich; cooked. Last year on this day I was in Wisconsin. Probably woke up at my Dad’s house, and I know for certain I went on to eat Thanksgiving Dinner at The Odyssey with my father, brother, sister, and grandfather as well. I found a picture from last year I took of everyone eating together. I should have taken a selfie, but oh well. The picture I took, I don’t think everyone is even looking at the camera. OH! You know what I am going to do? Call my Grandpa! We’re still talking about the same guy. A couple years ago, when I lost my grandmother, he lost his wife. It’s crazy. That man’s life…someday I would like to tell you the whole story. I could never get the whole thing, you know, because only he knows the whole story. Life is a complicated thing. He knows. I know. You might know. If you don’t know, now you know. 

 

I suppose it is the case that I feel a little sad today. It is so destined to be, and I need no consoling. When I was a child, we would gather at my Grandparents house and my Grandmother would prepare the fixin’s, along with the bird they accompanied. Two of my three uncles would come over [the third being in Dallas]. Also my cousin, my mother and I. In the later years my uncle and cousin would bring their girlfriends. Good vibes. 

 

The time is now 07:30. Spent a while playing around on my phone, and smoked the rest of a bowl I packed earlier. Now the time is 07:42. I am messaging my Dad back and forth because we are having ‘not so great’ service with Verizon. We both have the Google Pixel phone, so, idk. I literally have zero phone reception today. It started when I woke up, and then I left North Beach and got all the way to Fisherman’s Wharf. Still, I have no service. It hasn’t bothered me much today, but we shall see as the day goes on.

 

Honestly I don’t know what more to write. My friends and I are going to meet up and do gravity bong rips out of the fountains on Market Street today, since it will be dead. Perhaps I will have more to write as the day goes on, but for now, I am going to put the keyboard away and look for good deals on the internet, lol. Classic Thanksgiving maneuver. 

 

Spark Twain

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You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

MBSB 2

Have you ever read the poem about the Purple Cow? I am eating the Purple Bowl right now. Plus I smoked a bowl of purp for breakfast. The time is 03:42 and I am writing to you from mbsb. I feel beautiful today! Earlier I was thinking all sorts of things I was going to write. When you walk into a room do you get the feeling that everyone is looking at you? I don’t always get that feeling, but when I do, I usually don’t handle the situation with confidence. However there may be adjustments happening in my subconscious, as I am growing to embrace the phenomenon. I am going to sell these people things.

The time is 03:55. I took a little break and spent some time playing around on my phone. I am going to get hella stars from the Starbucks app. I spend about $8 everyday. Pretty soon I’ll be getting a free espresso every time. I can probably use the app abroad too, so if I am traveling in India I won’t have to suffer the crazy prices. Starbucks is the same price in India, but when everything else is cheaper It’s like…whoa. It’s a crazy thing. I still wonder how much those people make.

So I was laying in my bed last night, just thinking about stuff, and I came to the conclusion that I would very much enjoy falling in love with someone beautiful. “Don’t we all want to love someone beautiful?” That was the thought that crossed my mind. I just got out of two long relationships. It’s actually quite fitting for the blog, because before I met Danae I was single for years and years. I just did drugs and drank all the time, and the few friends I did have scattered away from me. I have always been too intense, wielding both good and bad intentions. Since I have started writing this blog however, I have occurred two significant relationships, and it’s all available to read. My ig and yt are two testaments to my life before this blog. Have you ever seen those freestyle rap videos I recorded? Haha. The behind the scenes of that shit is crazy. Omg I have so many stories to tell, but it’s like…I might want some more security before I start telling yall about the prehistoric times. Small bits are available…we are close to the days. I see it now; sitting in Vietnam with a fat joint of that camtiva, sitting on My Khe beach rewriting the story of the first murderer I ever knew. I’d have to start with a light one, ya know?

I just texted my Mom. I said “I hope you’re having a good November. I’m at Starbucks getting some writing done before work.” I didn’t really know what to say, but I should text my mom every once and a while, right?

I can’t believe I drank coffee again today lol. I am really trying to be vigilant about my caffeine intake. Some days I can drink an espresso and be totally fine. Monday was fine! So I have been telling myself that maybe it’s only the sugar. The refined sugar, right? I mean I need to take care of myself in so many ways, I don’t see how it could possibly be one single act of maintenance or vigilance that helps me. Basically…I feel stuck, and I talk through my problems on this blog, and right now the problem is that it feels as if I am coming across all the hurdles at once. I need to exercise more, eat better, and develop consistency. I want a large living space. I want to be 10% more social, lol. I want more affluent friends. I want someone to love as much as I love myself. The time is 04:54 and I just finished editing this bad-boy. Now I am going into work. Peace!

Spark Twain

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