US 41 and Trailwinds

I am writing to you from the Starbucks on US 41 and Trailwinds…ave? I am not going to look, but I am thinking it’s going to be an avenue type deal. I ordered a nitro cold brew with sweet cream today…and I don’t really know why, because I don’t feel like drinking it [in between writing this article, and now editing it, I asked them if they could exchange it and I got something else: almond flat white]. It turns out!!!!that Starbucks just replaced all the Clover systems in Cape Coral and Ft Myers with Nitro Cold Brew spouts! YUCK! I am under the impression that they have done this because the nitro is more profitable for them. I mean…clover takes a skilled worker, and nitro takes…anyone, it’s literally on fucking tap lol. I can’t actually believe I gave them $5 for this bullshit! I haven’t even tasted it, but I know it’s gross. Why did I buy it? It’s because I was talking to a cute girl, no doubt. I don’t exactly know why I continually do such stupid things, but the fact remains that I do. 

 

I feel better right now than I have for the past couple of days, and that is a good change. I was walking down the street earlier and it occured to me that: the only thing I want to do is smoke weed! AND I found out it’s still a fucking misdemenor in Florida! Despicable. When my computer arrives next week, I’m going to hit the road. It’s kind of laughable that I had enough money to go anywhere/do anything…and in the same fashion that I just ordered a $5 drink I don’t want, I spent all my money on useless shit that, in the end, I didn’t want and am not proud of purchasing. YUCK! So! But you know what?

 

FUCK 

 

I do not know how to make money on my own, otherwise I would be doing it. Obvi. I’m starting to get scared that I’m just going to be a failure and a loser forever! I don’t even care if you guys like me! So long as you read my blog. I’m not nice, but I am correct, and that’s enough. When I go to Nola I might consider getting a job as a cashier or something, if I can make tips. Really though, I just need to turn my blog profitable. That is the answer. Even just $100 dollars a god damn month! Something! Anything! It’s been too long. I’ve put in hundreds, if not thousands of hours on this blog. I don’t even have any merch! Even if people want to give me some pity money through the medium of purchasing my products, they can’t!; because I don’t have anything for them to purchase!

 

The time is 16:15, and I am talking myself into a bad mood. It will be 4:20 soon! Woo! I have elected not to purchase any CBD while I am here, because well, I think the CBD market is a bit of a ripoff right now. No way am I going to go into a store and find a healing product, I’m going to find a for-profit product. 

 

waiting

 

The time is now 16:20. Same Starbucks. I’ve started talking to myself a little bit, and I think it might have been weirding the people out. I still haven’t drank any of my Nitro Cold Brew. Is it possible that I am sick of Starbucks? I ordered a petite scone this morning that I still have with me, because it just doesn’t sound appetizing. I only bought it because, well, that’s what I always do. I pretty much only buy something at Starbucks because I feel obligated. But you know what? It’s killing my fucking wallet. I’m gonna end up paying $5 to sit here for…what? 30 minutes? an hour? No way I’m bout to spent 10 hours in here, and that’s the only way I can see this $5 drink being worth it. Ugh. I really don’t like Florida, or the people in it, and if you live here and you’re thinking “well it’s not my fault I was born here! I don’t like it either!” You should take your ass to San Francisco, get a job, and sleep outside next to Mtn Lake until you have enough money to afford security deposit and first month’s rent. This is the way!

 

One of two things is happening. Wayne is either about to start rapping…or I’m going to hear the original version of this. Okay, it’s the original. “Please don’t let me be misunderstood.” Ha! Am I misunderstood? While I was walking around taking 360 photos today, a couple of the store managers wrote my blog down…it’s a shame the last thing I wrote about was me masturbating lol. I’ve pretty much completely stopped watching porn, but I still masturbate sometimes. Thizz what it thizz. However…I need to get my downstairs checked out. My semen has been yellow for…months now, at first I thought it was just my diet. Plus my balls were hurting for about a year before this started. Now my balls don’t hurt, but my seamen is yellow! and the area where my pubes are, the skin has been changing colors for quite some time. I have a large redish spot. It doesn’t look too weird, it’s just a little darker than the rest of my skin. I thought it was just from overheating…but now I am starting to think that things are a bit too abnormal down there. 

 

WHAT IS LIFE! Sometimes it is unfair. I pray that nothing happens to my balls, because yall know how much I want kids. PLUS I’ve never been better at letting women seduce me! I have written so many times how my 30’s are going to be my golden years. What can I do? Make a fucking dr’s appt. Something I have been avoiding. I actually saw a doctor in Chinatown, but I felt weird having her look at my balls, because I knew I smelled like weed, and it didn’t really seem like she liked me very much. Now that I am having pains though [I was having them then too, just a different area]? Well, I shouldn’t have missed that opportunity. Sometimes my gooch is on fire. Right now feels a little like that. This is all…bad. Why I wouldn’t just get this stuff taken care of?!? I’m not sure. I feel like I need a teammate in life! The same reason I am not getting this taken care of, is the same reason I lament my father. No girl should pair up with me until I can take care of this kind of stuff on my own, and I shouldn’t have kids unless I can take care of myself either. 

 

I suppose I should edit some writing, right? Yeah. Talking about my balls is making me feel weird. I was going to get it taken care of down here [Florida], but the wait is over a month! [It’s snowbird season], and I’ll be in Nola by that time [if everything goes well]. So… perhaps I just get things looked at in Nola. Idk! Why didn’t I just ask the Chinese doctor! All I asked her about was the mark on my arm! but that was only half of what I was worried about at the time, and I knew it. Take it from me! Ask the doctor everything you want to ask them. Yeah…my gooch definitely burns. What does that mean? It means it’s time to edit lol.

 

Spark Twain

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Cape Coral Pkwy

I am writing to you from Starbucks on Cape Coral Pkwy, in Cape Coral Florida. Surprisingly there are busses that take me all up and down this side of the coast. I thought it would be a little slower than it is out in these parts. Omg I grabbed the wrong flavor of sparkling water!; what a travesty. Ugh, and it’s one of those days where my hand feels weird, probably because my broken should is fucking up my alignment and whatnot. It’s not pain…but it’s discomfort forsure. My fingers just feel tight. I am planning to become a famous rapper this year though, and with the profits from that venture [plus the notoriety], I am hoping Elon Musk will take a personal interest in repairing my shoulder. I’m totally down for the cyborg life. Down af lol.

 

They gave me two cups AND a lid at this Starbucks. See, you California folks should come out here and switch the vibes up, because I even asked to receive my drink with no lid, but alas, these old people probably bitch when they don’t receive a  lid, and so the employees have muscle memory. See, it’s companies like Starbucks that will change the world. When SB stops offering single use plastics, do you think people will switch to the other coffee shop in town? hahaha HELL NO these folks have it on lock. I walked past a mom & pop coffee shop on my way here, and I pulled out my phone to look at the reviews, and although the reviews were good, I could tell by the picture that I wouldn’t like the place. Idk why Americans drink coffee, but they should start drinking espresso.

 

Oh my. This espresso is very bad lol. Maybe every Starbuckls espresso I’ve had has been bad…and I just didn’t notice. When I was in Vegas I was under the impression that maybe the baristas in SF were just…better! With the same beans and the same tools, is it possible that the baristas in San Francisco are consistently preparing better drinks? That is very possible. The work ethic in SF is off the chain. 

 

I feel like if I finish this espresso I am going to have heartburn lol [I tossed about half of it]. Ugh. I realllllly like San Francisco. The more places I go, the more I want to just…settle into San Francisco. Sometimes I think my whole existence there has been doomed from the time I left the Green Tortoise…other times I think the doom started earlier than that. 

 

I almost brought my hoodie with me today, but I was like “nah, I won’t need that shit.” And you know what? It would be totally awesome to have my hoodie. I have this long sleeve Harley shirt with me, but it’s not the same thing. Albeit, I put the Harley shirt on now. Las Vegas Customs! Reppin hard lol. 

 

One of the customers just came up and asked me about my bluetooth keyboard. Think I am the first person to use a bluetooth keyboard in this particular Starbucks? Possible is there. I could be the first person to be using a bluetooth keyboard all over Asia, but instead I thought it would be a good idea to blow a shit load of money in Vegas, and now I pretty much have to get a job lol. I applied at a hostel in New Orleans, and I am still waiting on a response from the manager. However! The owner did send me an email stating that the manager would be back on the 11th, and he said I had an impressive resumé, and thanked me for my patience. Which is…a good sign? I’m pretty sure I am going to get hired. Then what? I spend three months in New Orleans, and then I move to Las Vegas until I have firmly established myself in my career! A blogger/podcaster/hip-hop artist/public speaker. So far I only write a blog…but I think it’s a damn good blog! If you’re reading this sentence, maybe you do as well!

 

The vibes have been switched! Pretty soon it’s gonna be hella bluetooth keyboards around Cape Coral. lol. Maybe not. How do you think Nola will compare with SF? Oh shit…I’m scared to find out lol. I’ve never felt a calling to New Orleans; in fact I’ve avoided it because I don’t drink alcohol. Among other reasons. Karleigh invited me down there almost 10 years ago. I was too scared to go; she was living out of a van and stuff. Some guy did end up going to visit her. They have a baby now.

 

I have realized I am the perfect person to lead pubcrawls, because I will make sure the squad gets home every night. I talked to the owner of the hostel in Vegas about it a little bit. I am just waiting on a response from the hostel in Nola before I bust any moves. What’s the smallest amount of money I can spend in Nola you think? $600 over a three month period? Think that is doable? All I need is self control…that’s all I need. $200 a month when one isn’t paying any rent seems…doable. OH WAIT@ISMOKEHELLAWEED hahaha and I guess I forget how expensive that stuff is. Right now I am on day two of not smoking any weed. Actually, the last thing I smoked was fucking resin, and if yall read my blog, you would know I have previously written that “I don’t think I’ll ever be smoking resin again,” and actually when I was smoking it here I realized…if I am going against the rules I set for myself, maybe I am in the wrong place. Plus all I’ve done since I arrived is yell at my father for having an unhealthy diet. He thinks I should just let him live his life. I don’t think he’s really ever lived. He talks about places in the world as if he’s been there, when he’s really only done research. It’s not the same thing, but alas, even if he goes to see the Coliseum I don’t think he will appreciate it like he appreciates thinking about the Coliseum. Acceptance takes practice, and traveling is accepting the world. After him and I had huge argument last night, thigns simmered down when he said he would be willing to plan a trip to Europe with me. What have I done? I don’t want to go to Europe with my father though…that was a lie. I used to want that! but I had to give up on that dream a long time ago. It’s like when someone breaks up with you, and then they come back, obviously you will be that much more cautious. My father has never finished anything he said he would, really. We had a half apolstered couch in our living room for yearssss. 

 

The only place I can hangout with my father is California, because then at least I can blaze up and ignore the fact that I don’t think he’s living right. It’s hard for me to find people I get along with too, Dad! but I didn’t give up and have kids so I have people that like me. There is no guarantee your children will like you. I have spoken.

 

SPARK TWAIN

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HelloGoodbye

Yesterday I met a woman I thought might really be my equal, and that I might really be able to fall in love with.

 

That same thing happened to me Thursday.

 

Ow.

 

In my head I am brutal on myself about opening a business, which is probably why it hasn’t gotten done. Times like these! make me feel strongly that it will be forever impossible to move forward until meet someone…because meeting someone is the only thing I am able to think about, so often. and! I just got out of two back to back relationships, both of which I ended. Alas, the heart wants what the heart wants. My heart wants you. I hope it gets what it wants.

 

The time is 07:05 and I am at a Starbucks. Vibes are weak af here. Hella drifters chillin in the back, all producing different sounds from their phones. Plus there is the regular music. Right now it’s Kendrick. and calling these cats drifters is being polite. I could put on my headphones and just vibe out or whatever, because I have the noise canceling ones. Not really though, because there is too much on my mind.

 

One thing I have realized, is that these noise canceling headphones are going to be wayyyy too hot here in the summer.

 

This blog has been fun…but I don’t think I can’t just write whatever I want anymore. Too many facets; too many cogs. Does this mean it’s time for a book? Ha! I fuckling hope so. To think I actually thought I was going to write a book when I went to India…rookie mistake, to the fullest.

 

It’s times like these…

 

Soon I will be at my father’s house in Florida. My plan was to chill there and set up my business…but that won’t be a doable feat, I can already tell. His house will however be a good place to decompress, and reconsolidate. I wrote that same sentence yesterday, but I never posted it. I have written a lot I haven’t posted. It’s kind of crazy how that stacks up.

 

It’s times like these I am inconsolable. I don’t want to be at this Starbucks writing this blog…I want to be in bed lol. But…not at the hostel. And never again alone. I have been waking up early and going to coffee shops for a long time, but certainly I can see now that should only be a part time gig.

 

Ha. Sometimes I break off into these wicked day dreams. Some about murder, and some about sex. I like the ones about sex better. They never overlap. Ew. I like my coffee how I like my metal, and I like my love how I like my San Francisco.

 

Peaceful.

 

I used to write more about the things that go on in my head. Want to hear something I’ve never told anyone? When I used to go into this doughnut shop, I had a crush on the girl that made the doughnuts. One time, I wrote “I wonder if she like’s to be chokefucked,” and then I realized that I couldn’t possibly put that on my website, because it would fuck up my relationship with the donutshop. Somehow that sentence turned into 180 pages of writing I didn’t post, because it was a lot of my writing about my fantasites with girls, but I had a girlfriend at the time, so I never posted any of it.

 

How fucked up is that? That answer is that I needed to break up with that girl, and get someone that satisfies my life. It took me a long time to do that.

 

Things are different now. I’m pretty standoffish, and I constantly fear failure. To just have given my heart to two women in a row…what if I’ve only got three times!? Then I have to wait 10 years or something crazy…does the game work like that? Sometimes I think I got a bum controller, because this Game of Life feels like it should be easier to play.

 

The coffee shop I intend to go to doesn’t open for 38 more minutes. What should I do?!? I guess I am kind of stuck in regards to business. The business models I have created rely on me to produce a lot of written content, and I haven’t been doing that. I believe it to be more of a holistic process.

 

Two weeks ago the plan was to fly to Bali and start podcasting while I traveled Asia. One week ago the plan was to go home for three months and then come back to Vegas, get a job, and stay for a while. The plan needs to just be “do something that makes me happy.”

 

I also don’t think going to Oaxaca, meeting the Shamen, and consuming ayahuasca is the answer. Although that offer go throw on the table recently.

 

Spark Twain

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MBSB 17

The time is 04:50 and I am writing to you from MBSB. Really, I don’t need to be here, with my keyboard out, writing,but I am. I only got here like 10 or 12 minutes ago. Doppio espresso and a Spindrift sparkling water. I was debating about getting the water, cuz im broke af, but then it was the last grapefruit and I succumbed. 

 

The time is 04:52. My soul implodes with excitement. He will run a podcast!/ wait, fourteen podcasts! and write a movie! and write 42 blogs in a cycling 31 day period!

 

There is no way I am getting all of it done. Two things I need to do. 

  1. Make some decisions
  2. Read more

I don’t need to over complicate anything! Those are two things I need to do. 

 

You know, I liked the espresso here at Starbucks more in April than I do today. idk. I am so used to the Reserve espresso. It’s hella good. Last night I really got to talking to two of the barista’s at one of my favorite Starbucks. 

 

Omg I just laid down such a wicked fart. When’s the last time you had a shart? What if I told you: every fart’s a shart. Doesn’t that feel like it’s probably true though? How clean is your asshole? You know I like a clean asshole…

 

Speaking of clean assholes, I want to take a trip to Germany…after I co-write my first movie, and get my other 11 of my projects off the ground. I intend to do some traveling. First to Germany, quick, to find out if German women really have it all, and then jet over to Vietnam, and work backwards. Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Philippines, Thailand, Myanmar, India, Nepal, India, India, India, Goa, Pakistan, and then I’m not sure. Maybe go north into Russia? That’s all a dream. But so is everything else I talk about! lol. Have a good Wednesday, January 8th, 2020! PEACE OUT from MBSB.

.

 

And then when I got to work it was not a normal day, so I had time to edit this.

Spark Twain

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MBSB 16

My paranoia is getting the best of me. Or it isn’t. That’s the thing about having the knowledge that you’re a paranoid person…it is only sometimes true by nature. 

 

That is of no matter. What matters is this:

 

I am writing to you from Ravii, and I am having a bad day. It feels like every Sunday has been bad. Maybe it’s cuz I spend all Saturday carrying my backpack around? usually? and my shoulder is all fucked up so obviously that is not the move. 

 

Recently I have added so much to my schedule, it is undoubtable that I will fail. I have come to this realization today. Today I was so fucking beat I just couldn’t bring myself to do anything productive. I called my father, and my grandfather. I do enjoy talking to them, but it was played out today. I need new friends. 

 

I killed the vibe at one of my favorite Starbucks, and so I am going to minimize my time there. Maybe stop going all together. My blog has been getting a little crazY recently. I gotta get my mind right, and my head straight. 

 

This Dal Makhani smells like tomatoes, is that normal? I’ve had it here before and thought it was good, but I also read a review on the Google Maps page of someone who ordered tikka, or something, and claims they brought out tomato sauce. Is that what I have here? Lets dig in. 18:40 on January 5th, 2020. From Ravii. [5/10 I’d say, as I edit this]

 

*    *    *

 

The time is 04:01 and I’m at MBSB. It is easier to move mountains and rivers than change the ways of a human. Just your reminder on a Monday. In a world where everybody is focused on being overly positive, I’m bringing you that slice of reality on this Monday morning. 

 

Acai pudding and espresso. Breakfast of champion bloggers! Is there a blogging championship? 2020 is my year to get more involved in the blogging/writing community. I still haven’t even fucking read On The Road. I am behind as behind can be. I wonder how much time Kerouac spent at Montgomery Block? 

 

When I first arrived in The City I lived on Bartol street, and when I first heard about Kerouac [and all them. Ginsberg was the only one of the Beats I had heard of before my arrival to North Beach], I pictured him hanging out in Bartol alley. Now that I am sitting here writing about it, I still think that lol. Idk if he ever hungout in the alley by City Lights Books; City Lights used to be up the street at Grant and Filbert. I do laundry up that way, and I was outside the laundromat, up the road a little, smoking a bowl, when I discovered a plaque on the ground dedicating that spot as a landmark because it was the original spot of City Lights. Most of the time when I do laundry now, I go smoke a bowl standing on that plaque. If not there, then I go north on Grant a little more until I get to this short alley with steps. The position of the steps creates two crevasses, much large enough for a person, with walls on three sides, great for sleeping [Presidio. Don’t even come at me like that]. The first time I found it, I was like “Oh, so Ferlenghetti set up his book shop down the road from the place his friends were sleeping outside lol.” I have no idea if that is true. I bet Mark knows. I should ask him.

 

Where was I going? Oh yeah! So, I still think The Beats probably hung out in Bartol, because! Allen Ginsberg lived there. After living at that location for more than six months, I learned that Allen used to live in the large blue building across the alley, which is actually 1010 Montgomery [just up the street, this is all very close to both MBSB, and my house], but still the building has an entrance on my side [I had to go to the library to find this information out, although I bet if I went to the Beat Museum a second time I would find it in there]. Casey got to know the guy who lives in the green building, two north, and in fact, that man gave Casey an opportunity to rent his flat, but Casey fucked it up. Damn. Too bad I couldn’t intercept that. That blue building at 1010 Mongomery is where Allen wrote Howl. I haven’t read Howl either! I need to get on my shit! The rickiety building across the alley and behind the playground is where I wrote The Manifestation of Dreams. Not a comparable piece of literature, I am sure, but it’s still a true statement.

 

I need to step my poetry game UP!

 

You know what I’ve been thinking about a lot? Doing some poetry reading on YouTube. I got the idea from this girl Savannah Brown. I am to think she got popular doing poetry reading on YouTube? Hmm. Being that I have no friends, and no business partners, and my life is a clean slate with which I can do what I wish, I might left turn onto some crazy path and slam poetry into a tree, over and over again until it doesn’t look the same as when I started slammin’. Even if I take that left turn: What I am going to do is build a stream of income I can maintain from a computer and go back to Asia. I’ve been known that. Im sure I’ll put in all in the monthly email, but not this next one. I need to make a way for yall to sign up from here. Okay…I think I’mma step outside quick. Come back in…edit. Post…word word. 

 

…and that’s exactly how it went down. January 6th, 04:56 in the morning, Montgomery Block Starbucks. Twenty-Twenty vision ts.

 

Spark Twain

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MBSB 15

The time is 04:43 in the morning, and this is one for the blog only, as it will not be saved anywhere else. Foolish? Yes. Unaware? Not at all. I am going to keep it short today.

The best part about the new year is that I have been on schedule the whole time. Day three, and I have acomplished all my goals! One of the most frightening hurdles will be overcome at 14:30 today, and that hurdle, is going to the gym.

I signed up for a more expencive gym, and I feel pretty good about it. The amenities are plentiful, and it’s not a contract or anything so if I don’t think it is for me, in a couple of months, I will cancel my membership. Until that time I am going to run hella, and meet people hella.

Oh shit! You know what though? I was in the middle of working on my new project when I decided to just post a quick one. Now I gotta get back to my project. Yall gotta wait to hear about this one! Maybe I send it out in the email on the 8th. Make sure you sign up by going to my Instagram, adding me [as of yesterday my profile is private], and sending me a message with your email.

Spark Twain

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Hyde and Bitch

The time is 15:55 at Starbucks on Hyde and Beach, and it’s busy as a beach in summer over here, even though it’s the first of the year. 

 

I have been here for some hours now, and I wrote quite a lot, but as I started to edit [something else, still] I got quite tired. It’s definitely because I ate two cranberry bliss bars. My weakness for sugar got the best of me! I feel sugar hurts my fucking joints, no joke! Can it do that?

 

2020 = less sugar. But it didn’t start today. No matter what though I need to bring a Spark Twain blog post to light, because it is on the schedule. So I am going to post this before I leave. Then? Probably go home. I was thinking about getting a coffee or something…but no. I’m doomed for the day. I am dyyyyying for a good girl to chill with so I’m not alwayss thinking I need to work. Becuase I can take time off. I just don’t have anything to occupy my time otherwise!

 

Today I will go home and lay around and surf on ig until I fall asleep early, probably. Work tomorrow. Then hoping to talk to that girl. Pray for me.

 

Spark Twain.

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After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!