The Big Byang 2

I have returned to The Big Byang Cafe, but today I have brought less of an appetite. I am sure they will be okay with my…well they have to be, I just ordered a ‘hand beaten coffee’ by itself. What I was saying was: I hope they are okay with my ordering of just coffee for the time being, and hanging out in the Cafe for a while as I both write, and do some research. I have new plans and ideas in my head…big moves I am thinking about making. I am wearing my fancy shirt, the one I bought at Success, the store at South City Mall. In truth, and I felt it before I left the house, I am a bit uncomfortable. The sacrifice is worth it to be looking as good as I do though lol. Got my $100 wedding pants on, and now I’m rocking my 1600 Rupee shirt to finish the outfit off. What was incomplete upon my arrival in India is now complete; the outfit. I am feeling in need of another haircut, actually; I say actually because I am surprised by this factor. In my past I have gone long stretches of time without getting my hair cut. Most recently I cut my hair in…2016 I think it was? and I didn’t get it cut again until right before Brittany’s wedding. Boy oh boy…when I think about my time at the Gotthardt household I feel some type of way. I spent a long time there, and honestly I wasn’t sure about how things would go in the end. What happened is that my relationship with Jo’s stepdad has grown into a strange one. Brittany is his daughter, and these pants and the haircut I acquired for her wedding. The fact is (I think) that Jo’s family is in a different class than myself, and living within their bounds took time to catch on. My grandmothers family sprouted from ancestors that arrived to America on the Mayflower; my father was born in a Salvation Army hospital and given up for adoption to an Irish Catholic family per request. Somewhere in between these two extremes I am finding my home. Anyway, back to the lecture at hand!
To leave India, or not to leave India? That is the question. I believe I have chosen the latter, and for several reasons. First, why not?!? Is a change of scenery not within my discretion? It very much is. Also, my Hand Beaten Coffee has arrived and it is PHENOMENAL, AGAIN! Seriously you guys, if you are in Kolkata, you must make a special trip to The Big Byang. Yesterday I ate at a restaurant called Rao’s Udipi Home, and that was delectable as well, but The Big Byang is a different class of restaurant (more expencive), and for foreign travelers I cannot recommend The Big Byang Cafe anymore than the 110% recommendation I am giving it.
So, leaving India! It’s a vibe, and it’s a vibe I plan to get down with. Can you guess where I will be going next? mmmmmm Cambodia! is what I am thinking. The country of Cambodia is nearby, and I had actually planned to go there before I made plans to come to India. It was only after changing my mind that I decided upon India. It seems that for only $130ish I will be able to fly there next month. I am kind of waiting to talk to Jo about it, but my need of making a decision is another reason I have come to The Big Byang; it’s a good place to think about my future. The news keeps coming that the American stock market will continue to plummet in 2019, and honestly, I bet we will see a continual downtrend in stock market until it is time for Donald Trump’s reelection, and then like magic the stock market will begin to rise to new highs, and he will use it as his primary platform for reelection. I can’t be the only one who is predicting this. Seriously.
As the stock market continues to drop, it is obvious to me that decision time has come. Perhaps I will need to bust some moves today. If I wait any longer, I could be in dire straits. If I go to Cambodia next month I will be able to stay for one month, and that visa will cost me $30 on arrival. If I want to extend the visa for 1 additional month I will pay $45 for that service, and I will not be able to extend further. Knowing this ahead of time means I can arrive with a pretty solid plan. Or I can be fucked, duh. When I came to India with no plan it was not such a big deal, as I am allowed to stay for six months, and I did not need to provide proof of onward travel upon my entering the country. Now that I am talking about it, I actually haven’t looked to see if one needs to provide proof of onward travel when one enters Cambodia, but I don’t think it will matter for me. This morning as I hypothesized what could be in my near future, the plan practically laid itself out. Turns out plane tickets returning to America are significantly cheaper from Bangkok, Thailand. So what do you think my plan has turned into? Yuuupp. Cambodia for 1 month, and perhaps I will talk to Jo about the situation, and if she is going to be in Cambodia, and it would be in my best interests, I will plan to stay for 2 months. Afterward I will go to Thailand and stay for an undetermined amount of time…actually let me look up the visa information for Thailand right now…Okay! Turns out that I will not need a visa for entering Thailand if I plan to stay for under 30 days (there is probably still an airport tax though, I forgot to look). What does that mean for me? That means the plan has continued to lie itself out in front of me like a rolled carpet I keep kicking to extend its path. So I guess I will be leaving from Bangkok either early March, or early April. My plan is to fly back to San Francisco from Bangkok, and probably spend some time with Casey while I get back on my feet. I guess that’s a wrap for the transportation part of the article. I could, in theory, stop typing and start buying tickets…except that I don’t have enough money in my bank account lol. Seriously. This is where the market comes strongly into play. So I can liquidate some funds quick, and actually I could liquidate about $800 without having to take much of a loss. $800 in combination with the little cash I have should be enough to pull me through this situation. I have faith! but also I am finally feeling like I have a clear head to think with. I have been eating omelets choked full of veggies for the past two days, and I really think it is doing me well. Yesterday was…ah! I had to look back in my messages to figure it out lol. Bowhow! I need to exercise my memory more. So yesterday was a green pepper, tomato, and onion omelet, and today it was eggplant and tomato. Quite the way to start a day! Oh boy…I have to pee…but perhaps I feel the other coming on too. I am not very good at pooping in public. Either way, I am going to go figure the situation out. brb.
Okay. I didn’t poop. I merely took a leak. I didn’t come directly back to my computer afterwards either. I took three bubble photos here in The Big Byang Cafe and I uploaded them to Google right away. I also sent SequoiaRyan some messages and did a little scrolling through my Instagram page. Whew. The coffee is hitting me now. The sweat has kicked in. I am considering ordering some food. I ate that omelet not so long ago, and then right before I left the house Cecelia offered me some dal and veggies, so I got down on that. It was quite good, and it was healthy, which is most important, but the moral is that I probably don’t need more food. This coffee probably isn’t healthy for me either. If I consume a product and it gives me anxiety…maybe not so good for me, right? I just blew my nose a little bit and I feel good about that. See, it’s good that I wore this fancy shirt and the fancy pants, that way when I return to the house, my relaxing clothes will make for a nice contrast. Even if they aren’t so clean either.
I am yawning. I think it’s the coffee that’s making me yawn! Perhaps I need water as well. Okay, I drank some water. Last time something started to make me yawn (cigarettes), I quit smoking. Perhaps my relationship with caffeine is coming to an end and you are witnessing the days of dwindling. I actually feel a little stress in my neck as well, and we just can’t be having that. I am not so sure it’s the muscles. Only time will tell though.
So I can’t tell what is happening sometimes as I travel, mostly due to a language barrier, and so when my waiter here handed me a menu I was unsure if he was being polite, or insisting that I order food. Rather than be confused, I ordered food. I ordered a chicken burger. I’m also under the impression they made my coffee a little stronger this time, and of course they are trying to be polite, but I kind of feel…super anxious? People always assume I want stronger coffee, and more of this, and stronger that. It’s unfortunate, because there is probably a version of me somewhere in the multiverse that appreciates stronger coffee. This Chris however, he can’t handle it. I’m yawning! When coffee makes you yawn, it’s time to review your situation. I really only ordered the coffee because it’s what I am used to doing. I need to start drinking tea. Green tea to be exact. Yeah. I totally don’t feel okay. I would even venture to say I feel scared. Which…isn’t a good way to feel. I wish I lived different sometimes. I need to start doing what I know is right for my body. It needs to start today, for real. No excuses. All I can do is stop drinking the coffee, and that I have done. As I grow older I have begun to think some of the feelings I have within this body were destined to be since birth, and although I have accelerated them with my poor living, it’s just how things were always going to be. But today, I am done being scared of myself! No one should consume a coffee, or any product for that matter, and then feel anxiety, especially in the way I am feeling. So, I will change my habits. I just have to do what I have to do. No excuses. I used to feel scared when I would experience alcohol withdrawals, and so I put a stop to it. Now, it’s onto the next battle. For now I am going to put the computer away, as I am sure my food will be arriving soon. Peace out!
Chris

* * *

A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work.
Thanks in advance!

The Big Byang Theory

From a Cafe> Restaurant>Cloud Kitchen (that’s what is says on the front of the menu) under the name The Big Byang Cafe, I write to you…whoever you are. I think Jo is the only person who reads my blog. Thanks Jo. I read your email yesterday, and it made me very happy. Most of the information contained within the email I had already heard about from our conversations, but I very much enjoyed reading your organized account of things. I am not writing this specifically for you, but seriously, thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.

So I am at The Big Byang Cafe, and when I walked in things were nice and tranquil. Since my arrival the folks have put on some crazy electronic music. It’s not excessive, especially because, since my arrival, two other parties have stumbled in to partake of the food. The reviews on Google for this place are superb. One Local Guide says of it: ‘this place defines value for the money,’ and that’s a statement I can get behind. When I walked in, I could immediately tell this place takes customer service seriously. India has taken some time to get used to, of course. There are so many people, yet I find many of the establishments…my food is here. Hold on. What I was saying was: I find many of the establishments more empty than I think they should be, but I think that’s just because it is taking time to establish the defined art that is ‘customer service’ here in India. It’s taking the economy time to catch up as well, I’m sure. I added that all while editing; let us continue.

Holy Shit you guys, this is the best food I have eaten at a restaurant since my arrival in India. The Big Byang is no joke. First, let me say that I ordered only an appetizer; Pan Fried Chili Pork. It is very rich (I just talked to the owner, as he is accessible and on site, and he told me they use pork belly, which is of course more tasty, and less healthy. I am happy they choose this route). I asked if they have rice, as I hoped to consume it with my Chili Pork and all it’s wonderful juices, but they don’t sell rice. They offered me garlic bread as a substitute, and perhaps next time I will consider such an accompaniment, but for today I have let the matter lie. I am enjoying my Chili Pork very, very much; albeit rich flavor is something I am trying to avoid in my future, as I have realized that four months of eating nothing but MAC’D has decimated me in a small fashion, but that is irrelevant to my enjoying the food here. This shit is off the hook. You have to come try The Big Byang; when in Kolkata, it is an absolute must to eat at The Big Byang (plus just look at that name!). Apart from the Chili Pork, I also ordered ‘Hand Beaten Coffee.’ Not only is the flavor superior to what I consumed at Cafe Coffee Day earlier this week, but the price tag is superior too. Only 80 rupees for this coffee, and I am telling you guys: that’s a steal.

Whew! Honestly, I wish I had ordered off the main course list. There is a couple eating in the same room that I am sat (the cafe has two rooms), and they both got burgers which look delectable. I can’t even fathom how many calories I just consumed in finished that Chili Pork…is it over 9000? lol. That’s a joke. But seriously, let me show you the aftermath; just a plate full of juice. and since I drank that coffee I am about to be riled up. Alas, I am satisfied af. Sometimes the first encounter with an establishment should be considered ‘practice,’ and this time the case turned out to be that I ordered an appetizer meant to be shared by two or more people, and I consumed it all by my lonesome. Boy, oh boy…these people definitely think I’m a fatass; they must. That’s okay though. I am a fatass. Seriously! I lived that MAC’D life for a long, long time. The food was free, and so has become the cholesterol that came with it. Never did I think I would learn so much about life than I learned with the choices I made of my diet in 2018. What is there left to say? 2019, here I come!

At this point, I am thinking of sticking around The Big Byang for quite a while. Finishing this article. Maybe editing the last article I wrote (didn’t happen). There is much work I could be getting done. Drinking that coffee may have been a bad decision. We already know coffee gives me anxiety. However…this south Indian coffee (I think it was south Indian style. It had the foam on top. Either way; twas quite amazing) is certainly not as riddled with caffeine as the black coffee I used to consume at Union Street Coffee House. What can I say? I am wimp when it comes to coffee consumption. I like a dark roast because it has less caffeine, but that’s still not de-caffeinated enough for my liking. Recently, I have made the effort of migrating to tea, and the tea life is treating me pretty well. Green tea is the best for my health, as black tea still has caffeine, and thusly so does the milk tea I have been drinking here in India, but old habits die hard. These are the breaks.

It started to rain on my way here, and now when I look outside I see a wet world. This can’t be good for the individual I saw laying cement on my way here. Hmm. Oh well. I need not pay mind to his worries, for I have a plateful of my own. My head hurts. My head has hurt…pretty much everyday for like three months. At first I thought I had a brain tumor; shit’s no joke. Now however, I think differently of my headaches. I see that my diet is to blame. and if my diet isn’t to blame, well, it’s still the best place to start in regards to fixing my head and my overall health. Long ago I had a mini stroke…self diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure it was a mini stroke. It was deeeeeep into my time as an alcoholic that this happened. I still don’t want to talk about it…too scary to think about. Just know: it’s the same part of my head that I felt the above incident happen which has been bothering me as of recent. Health is wealth ladies and gentlemen, and at 26 I refuse to give up pursuance of my wealth! I plan to eat better, and start exercising more, and overall just treat my body better. It deserves better! For a long time I beat my body up, but the abuse was easy to ignore because my brain could take it. Now I think different. For what is the body except a meat suit to benefit the brain, really? At 26, things are catching up to me. If I die, just know I have been happy to document the process.

Actually…let me rephrase that. When I die, you can know I was happy to document the process. Let us hope my demise will not be met for many more years. 70 more years? 80 years more? It would be an amazing thing to live to be 100. Perhaps, with the help of modern day medicine I will see that number. No denying I might need a new heart, and since my youth was so fast lived, I will have to ssllooww things down for the next 3/4ths (boom) of my life, but I have great confidence that it is not too late to turn things around! I quit smoking cigarettes; I quit drinking alcohol; and now in coming to India I have given up my daily use of ganja. Not forever, but at least I am proving to myself that a break is possible. Now? I fight the lazy beast within; the monster that does not cook, and merely accepts the hand that is dealt to him. San Francisco taught me that I truly and literally have no self control. Those days of Illy cafe; the months that were: MAC’D. Those times are behind me. I won’t simply turn a new leaf; I will plant a garden, and within it I will turn many new leaves. I will write on the leaves, and I will give them to passersby on the sidewalk. I will turn leaves from many-a-tree, and I will do so in all the seasons: Fall, Spring, Summer…and Winter. Maybe, ironically, I will find myself turning the most leaves in Winter. It is winter at current, and just look at me go! I feel for The Big Byang cafe, lol. They, like the many establishments I have enjoyed before them, have not ended up with a dedicated article, but instead an article that is fully about me, and my struggles. My father keeps telling me to talk less about myself, but I just can’t. I only hope there are a select few people who may benefit from the words I speak. Perhaps the addicts of the world?; my brothers and sisters who battle demons they did not ask for, and perhaps cannot understand. I have long thought this blog is for your benefit. Today, we solidify that. Do we not?

Chris

* * *

A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work.
Thanks in advance!

An Accidental Fest Of Cold Curry

I am writing…with my left hand only now (it didn’t start that way, but when my food came I suddenly remembered we eat with our hands in India), from a place restaurant called Lake Gardens. I was walking around with nowhere to go, and a man attracted me to eat here. The food is cold, but I’m committed to this meal. I have chosen the veg option, and that is to minimize chance of illness. Not just here do I choose veg; I’ve been vegging out everywhere. I am interested to see how this meal goes. I honestly don’t know why the food is cold…but whatever. It tastes like many of the curries I have eaten from the street vendors recently, but this meal is a cold and disappointing one.

Okay. I have finished the food. Now…I sit. One of the reasons I let the guy coax me into this building is because there are tables to sit at. Most of the places are simple stands, with no available seating, and when seating is available it is often crowded. Honestly though, this place is almost too empty. At first I thought it was simply an off hour, as the time is 14:30, and I don’t know if many of the locals eat around this time. but then the food showed up cold. Something I didn’t quite understand. I’m not about to leave this restaurant though. I paid mostly for a table to write at, and the food came secondary.

The news Google pushes to my phone has informed me that the bear market has arrived. Stocks are predicted to drop 20%…unless I am misinterpreting the article and stocks have already dropped. I’m playing it by ear right now, but pretty soon I will need to liquidate some of my stocks. I am almost out of money. Today? Tomorrow? Soon. That’s all I know.

Perhaps you can judge a vendor on if they consume their own varieties; as I watch one of the workers eat food he has just had delivered. I have already assessed that I didn’t enjoy this meal, but anyone can end up eating at a restaurant they don’t like. Everyone has different tastes (although not many have a taste for cold curry), but I am not worried about food that displeases me; I am worried about food that will get me sick…actually I am waiting to get sick from eating a bad meal. Everything I read on the internet about coming to India made it seem like getting ‘Delhi Belly’ is a certainty. Honestly though, I have a pretty strong stomach. Food that may normally make an American sick, perhaps I would survive. Remember, I spent a couple years only feeding this bad-boy alcohol. Many things are like bootcamp, and the treatment of my stomach is one of those things. It’s trained now, lol.

I am digging that this place has seating. Oh. and the name. Lake Gardens. Don’t forget that name if you are looking for cold curry. I think it is available to view on Google maps. I will say the hospitality here is good, at least from the man who speaks English with a rather high proficiency. So far in India, like I said, I have come through every meal unscathed. However, in times of uncertainty, as in, between the meal and 30-40 minutes after the meal, sometimes my mind can manipulate my feelings. If one has a genuine scare they might get sick, certain bodily sensations can manifest with ease.

I am thinking of jetting to the mall and chilling out for a while. Then later, Vijay is making dinner. He has been talking it up for a couple of days, and so I am excited to partake in his meal. The time is now 14:39, and I probably arrived here at 14:20. In America I would often base how much time to spend at an establishment on how much money the meal cost. Starbucks for instance is expensive as fuckkkk, and so when I go there I try to milk it for every minute I can. Since I have been at this restaurant one other gentleman has eaten. Now an older couple has been seated across from me. The gentleman came and went already. I’m still a little confused as to why the food was cold…did it have to be? How long might it have been sitting out? Honestly, idc. Indian food has many spices which act as natural preservatives. Oh, something nifty just happened. I saw the couple across from me used hand sanitizer  prior to eating. That’s probably the move. I did just eat a whole plate of rice with my hands directly after I spent the day dealing with money and phones and damnnn I even shook a couple of people’s hands, lol. Hmm. Plus I am already sick. No good. I think it’s going to be okay this time though. Maybe I will drop by Spencer’s and cop some hand sanitizer. Even though I am coming to disagree with shopping at Spencer’s, it may be the best place to buy hand sanitizer. The couple across from me is eating the same meal I just partook in. I wonder if their food is cold too. It’s 14:45 now. Should I head to the mall? Damn. Probably. and OH YEAH! I went and got a SIM card today, finally. The thing that compelled me to make the advancement on gaining a SIM, is that I want to be able to efficiently use Quikr and Olx. Even if I don’t need an Indian phone number to sign up, I will need it to contact the selling party. A lot revolves around having a phone number here, and so it turned out to be unavoidable: I needed the SIM card. It sounds like I will need an Indian phone number to purchase a railway ticket as well (not the local metro, but long distance), and rather than scrambling around at the last second, when it comes time to buy  the train ticket, now I will be able to simply move forward with that. Okay. I think I am going to hit the mall. Hmm…I could just return to the house actually. No reason for the mall, really. It’s kind of expensive at the mall too. I might just buy some sweets and head back to the crib. Stay tuned to find out! Well, actually, it’s not like this can be a cliffhanger. This will all be in a single article, probably published today (turned out to be the next day [he writes as he edits]). I am starting to think maybeee this older couple has eaten here because my presence dragged them in. I am judging this all on their acquisition of a bottle of water. Me? I brought my own water. I think I might film a video on getting an Indian SIM card today too (that video didn’t happen, but I do have a different, new YouTube video up). Should be a nice full day.

The time is 17:57 on December 10th, and the year is 2018. My temporary roommate Vijay just showed Richard and myself a video about Vijay Mallya, who is a business tycoon that has defaulted on many loans in India. The U.K. is extraditing him, and apparently this is one of the first times a white collar law breaker in India is having to face the music.

Wow! I am having an amazing time hanging out with the two gentleman of which I spoke in the above paragraph. Today I posted to my Instagram a series of three photographs. In the future you can find them by seeking the post from December 10th. The first photo is of a car, the second is of a street scene of a road I frequent, and the third is a selfie I took posing with three other individuals. Now…let me try to relay to you the frequency of which people ask to take selfies with me: I feel like a rockstar. Seriously. When I went to the Victoria Memorial, it was a barrage of selfies. I am not complaining, but it’s certainly different that what life was like in San Francisco. Sure, I was the coolest cat in San Francisco when I was there (like everywhere), but very rarely did folks ask to take a selfie with me, and if they did, it certainly wasn’t their opening line. Here? A selfie has marked the beginning of many interactions. So, when I was walking down the street today and the gentleman (who is standing closest to me in the photograph) accosted me for a selfie, I was not taken aback or taken surprised in any sense of the word. It has become the norm. Why am I telling you this? It’s my introduction to tell you that I don’t understand the young people of India…yet. I am sure I will come to understand them, and befriend them severely, but at this point in time I am finding much more fulfilling companionship and conversation with the older gentleman whom I have been living with. Right now Richard is leaning into the television as several individuals discuss the ongoing news that is: Vijay Mallya. I can tell this extradition is big news, and not just because my friend Vijay (not the same Vijay, obviously, but that’s ironic isn’t it? [Vijay means Victory]) came out to display the news so excitedly for Richard and I. That was about two hours ago. Vijay himself is preparing the south Indian food still. I am excited to try this food; I am falling in love with the cuisine of India. Coming from a country where we over indulge, and saturate everything in rich; often too rich of flavors, the change to a complicated spice arrangement is fully appreciated.

The time is now 22:52, and since the paragraph above I have eaten my favorite Indian meal so far. It’s a bit ironic that for lunch today I had my most disappointing meal on the trip, and then for dinner I had the most satisfying. Also, can I really refer to what I am doing here in India as simply ‘a trip,’ or ‘a tour?’ People ask me often ‘what are you in India for?’ and I have come to tell them ‘tour,’ as it is the closest to my actual purpose; plus it is a simple answer, and as I grow older I hone better my skills of when to give a simple answer. If what I am on it a tour, then I was on that same thing in San Francisco. I think what is happening is: I am on a journey that one can only call life, and the further I get from my youth the more places I find to call ‘home.’ Eh. Perhaps San Francisco was different. The first truth of many is that I am now a man of San Francisco. Not only do I feel welcomed there, but also, it has with certainty become my plan to recombobulate myself there upon the end of my ‘tour.’ In fact I just messaged Casey about that matter right now. I want to build a home in San Francisco, to the point where I would consider returning there sooner, just so I could save my spot at his apartment. He has a hella kush spot.

Okay. My mind is wandering, and so I will move to a bit of a ramble before I hit the hay, and then probably edit this article tomorrow.

You know, I was really hoping to do more than I am. I was hoping that when I came to India I would start pushing out content like crazy. On YouTube, Instagram, and of course, this blog, I hoped to triple my efforts. I still have a whole fucking book worth of writing you have yet to read! Is that writing becoming less relevant? Hell Yes. I can recall specifically one piece of writing from my ‘unpublished works of San Francisco (we will call them),’ where I say ‘you can see Greg Engelhardt tame a bull in the Marina right now.’ That is no longer true. He is taming a different bull in a different arena. HE is still in San Francisco I believe, but not at MAC’D. I see now the flaw in my ways. If I had been posting my writing everyday instead of just hording it…would I be experiencing something different now? Quite possibly. Damn. and this whole ‘Kris Kali’ persona I have been trying to accelerate…I am falling out of love with that idea. hmph. So I dropped a quick $45 because my anxiety got the best of me, and I devised a quick solution to my problem that in the end has done nothing to consul me. Sure, I have some new websites, including chriseverywhere.com, which I actually think is a pretty good name, but what am I to do with it? I am Chris, and I am in many places. but the second truth of many is: I am Heart Of Zeus. I am him. Everything else I am is simply an extension of myself as the Zeus personality. I did go through a period where I thought I may begun to be referred to as Zeus, but that time has come to pass. I have been titled ‘Mr. California’ since my arrival in Kolkata, which is something I can get behind, but now I must get real; I need to bust some kind of move. Whether that move is branding this new persona Kris Kali, or sticking with my Heart Of Zeus progress…I just need to make some decisions. Point the thing, and then shoot it extra hard. I will sleep on the issue. Tomorrow, I will make some big boy decisions, along with editing and publishing this article. Never again will I let a piece of writing go unread! I haven’t posted the old stuff yet, but I am guessing it won’t have aged like a fine wine when I finally do. I could absorb myself in editing for the next two weeks and just get it all done…maybe that is how I will go. Maybe. I feel it coming, but that doesn’t guarantee me a damn thing. That’s all I know. Now, off to bed. The time is 23:25 on December 10th, 2018. Adieu.

Chris

* * *

A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work.
Thanks in advance!

Writing to you from Cookie Man

I’m at the South City Mall droppin phatty stacks today. Right away I had revise that first sentence, because I have a good friend by the name of Fatty, and so I am forced to consider him when I use the wordage now. I came to the mall today with the idea I would buy a shirt. First I went into Arrow and told the lady I needed an XXL, so she brought the entire inventory of XXL shirts out for me to look through. It was very kind of her, and I felt bad not purchasing. I actually liked the shirts, but I wanted to do some more browsing before diving into a decision.  My indecisiveness is rampant, as I’m sure some of you know, and so rather than head into another clothing store right after, I went into Starmark, which is a book store. I like Starmark…and for some reason I feel like I had heard of them prior to my arrival in India. So I went into Starmark and I ended up buying a pack of two gridded notebooks; that is to say, they don’t have lined paper, they have graph paper. My previous notebook was graph, and I really took to liking it. That one I bought in Japantown in San Francisco. I ended up leaving it at my Dad’s house when I came to India, and I did so on purpose. I have my reasons.

After Starmark, I headed into a store which I have walked past several times. I decided I liked the looks of their clothes the best. The name of that outfitter is: Success. What do you think about that name? Boom. It really had me at hello, you know? It’s not only the name though; it’s the wears. They have traditional Indian style tops for men, which I believe are called Sherwani’s, or perhaps they were Kurta’s that I saw. Success also has button up shirts, sweaters, and polo’s that appealed to me very much. About seven or eight minutes I spent looking up and down the shelves at the shirts, and what I decided upon was a black button down sporting gold paisleys. I think I am going to look damn dapper; if you don’t mind me saying. Should we talk about price? The shirt cost 1,595 Rs. For yall homies back in the western world, that means I spent about $25, and that includes a 3% foreign transaction fee. Not bad. Back home the same shirt would cost $50 probably. Maybe more than that, it actually might be an $80 shirt back home. I haven’t put the garment on yet, but the store is on par with, say, Van Heusen. I am hella excited, and I am happy I decided to purchase something nice for myself.

Currently I am at Cookie Man, again. I ate here two days ago, and yesterday I tried the restaurant next door called ‘Coffee World,’ but I think I like Cookie Man more. I began my meal with the ‘pasta alfredo non-veg’ and a coca-cola, but when I was still hungry I ordered some masala french fries. Right off the bat, I can tell you this: Coffee World uses Del Monte ketchup, which is red like the color of a can of coca-cola is red. It’s the ketchup I am used to. I wasn’t really paying attention at first, but when I squeezed the ketchup from the packet over here at Cookie Man, I was struck with awe by a substance the color of blood. The folks at Cookie Man use Veeba ketchup, and I actually think I like it more. This Veeba ketchup has kind of a cinnamon flavor to it. One thing is for certain though, and that is: all the food at this mall is very unhealthy. Delicious, but unhealthy.

You know what movie I saw recently and, at the time of my original viewing it gave me high anxiety but now I love? Baby Driver. My father, sister, and myself sat down to watch that movie just before I left, and damn was it a good flick. I don’t think my brother watched that one with us. Anyway, I can really relate to the main character of that movie. Not because I have tinnitus, but because you can often times catch me with headphones on. Just now I put them on. Ha. I am listening to the Baby Driver soundtrack now; head bobbin in the mall and lookin all crazy. I wouldn’t have life any other way!

You know what I have been thinking a lot about? I would like to buy a guitar. I wonder what the cost of an acoustic guitar is here in Kolkata. Why do I think an acoustic guitar will be expensive? An electric guitar is probably easier to come by, and cheaper as well. I don’t know why I think that. I will certainly keep you updated on the situation. I’m listening to a real nice cover of Easy (like Sunday morning) right now. Aight I switched it up. Now I’m listening to Take Yo Bitch, by Wiz Khalifa. I guess that’s just how I’m feeling in this mall. Lots of folks looking at me in here. It’s kinna strange. I look just like I did in America, my dressings and all, but here they don’t automatically assume I’m a criminal. It’s kind of cool. I’m still bumping Wiz with my headphones on. Damn yall…I really miss making rap music. When I was at my Dad’s for those three weeks, I would freestyle rap in his basement every day. Forreal. It’s how I free my mind. Wow. Did you notice how my writing gravitated back to a good ole fashion ramble? Ugh. All this fast food is killing me. I don’t feel healthy right now. I know it’s the alfredo. Honestly though, it’s now like I’m frequenting the Olive Garden or something. The portions I order at this restaurant are quite small, and that’s a nice thing for a man prone to high-consumption like myself. Boy, oh boy. I just don’t know what I am going to do next. I have to check out of the room I am staying in tomorrow, but I have secured myself long term stay at that location, so I will only be gone for one night. I might have to check out for a couple of addition nights in the upcoming weeks as well, but overall I will be staying in the same place for the rest of my time in Kolkata. I am not sure where I will stay tomorrow night. I was originally thinking I would stay at the Broadway Hotel…and I still might. I did like that place. I paid 900 Rs over there, and that’s something I can handle. One thing that’s becoming reality, fast, is that I am going to need to relocate some of my money from the stock market into my bank account. Keeping up this lavish lifestyle will have me broke real quick, but my goal is to start making money soon…Damn. I really don’t know how I am going to do that, but I gotta get it done. Kris Kali is here ladies and gents! He has just been very quiet so far. Eh. The transition will take time. One of the reasons I bought the notebooks today is so I can do more planning of my videos. I need to present things in an organized fashion, my Dad is certainly right about that. He has been telling me to be more focused with what I produce for a long time, and honestly, with a goal in mind, how can I fail? Okay. I have been at Cookie Man for quite some time now, and so I will take my leave. I don’t know where I will go next. Possibly back to the house. Maybe I’ll walk around for a bit. Oh yeah…they are doing construction at the crib. Yesterday it got quite loud at times. Hmm. I could always go to Starbucks, but that place is hella expensive. It’s the exact same price as in the United States. Crazy! Seriously. Not cool Starbucks. Not cool. I almost feel like I should boycott the place…but it’s really convenient when I have no place to go. Okay! I’m off. Wish me luck! Until soon!

Have you noticed I have stopped stating the time? Well that is a fault that I should not continue. The time is currently 20:15 and I am smoking hookah at a place called the Purple Turtle. When I left the mall earlier it was about 16:00. Wow! I just hit the hookah for the first time and boy oh boy does it feel, and taste, good. It has been many a year since I have smoked hookah. I am really here in lieu of drinking alcohol. That’s a good thing. I really shouldn’t be drinking alcohol. What happens when I drink you see, is that I break out in handcuffs. It happens to the best of us. Honestly I probably shouldn’t be talking so much about it, and so I will leave it at that. Perhaps it is bad luck to overstate the already stated.

There was one group of kids in here when I arrived, and they just left. I am now the only individual at the Purple Turtle. I can dig it. When I walked in the lights were off and they were playing music sung in a language I did not recognize. Then…something happened that I actually read about in a blog before my arrival in India. Well, first, they turned the lights on. Eh. Okay. I don’t really need the light, but I can dig on the politeness. BUT THEN SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED. They changed the music to something more western. Can you guess what they put on? …Hotel California. It was only a little cliché, but honestly I can dig it. Who doesn’t like the Eagles? I know I like The Eagles. One of the kids from the group here upon my arrival told me Hotel California is a better song anyway. Whenever I hear Hotel California now I think of Gardner Kent, because he told me a story once about how he was presented the opportunity to purchase the ‘Hotel California.’ It wasn’t the real Hotel California of course, because there is no Hotel California; it is only a song. He told me that some poor sucker actually ended up dropping…what did he say?…$900,000, I think it was, on some building in Baja California (it’s either $900k or $500k, but I think Garnder told me they were asking $900k, but to him it was only worth $500k). Eventually the guy tried to get his money back, because it came to light that there is no Hotel California, but do you think he got his money back? Hell. No. No one ever gets their money back in the real world. Once money is spent, it is spent. Beware ladies and gentleman, because people will always try to rip you off. It doesn’t become any less so when you have $900,000 to drop on a building that might only be worth half that amount. How can I possibly thank Garner for the wisdom he has bestowed upon me? I simply write about him. That’s how.

I suppose I should edit this article while I am here at this Hookah lounge. I am kind of getting light headed from smoking the hookah. Remember I smoked cigarettes for 10 years, so maybe body takes different to tobacco products than it would if I had not smoked cigarettes. There’s a jamming guitar solo going on right now. I think it is the Scorpions. I shazamed it. Let’s have a look to see if I was right…Yup! Gypsy Life,  by the Scorpions. Shazam just labels them as ‘Scorpions,’ but I always throw a ‘the’ in front of their name. That’s how I was brought up to pronounce their name. Old habits die hard. Nothing is more true than that.

I ordered a 5 pc veg momo upon my arrival, and I have just finished the last piece. There was a very spicy sauce that went with the momo’s, and I enjoyed it very much. Spicy food is addictive, did you know that? I heard that spicy foods activate the same part of the brain as opium. I removed the nipple on the hookah hose now, and I think it’s hitting a little better for me. The dude who brought me the hookah got it started and he didn’t use the nipple. Idk. I don’t think anything bad will happen. Hmm. They have the coals set up in such a way that I cannot ash them. Honestly though, I assume these people know what they’re doing. I mean, they run a hookah lounge. I am simply a customer. Whew. This hookah is really making me light headed. lol. The couches and tables also sit kind of low, so typing is hurting my back. I don’t feel like I’m ready to move onto editing yet though, and so here I sit, writing. and damn, have I been writing a lot. I remember when I first acquired HeartOfZeus writing a 2000 word document seemed intimidating. Now? I produce 200 words almost every time I sit down to write. If you go back and read some of my first articles I am sure you will recognize a stark difference in my style. I really feel like I have been improving.

I wonder deeply if I will be able to help increase tourism in Kolkata. That is my goal, at least with HeartOfZeus. With my new channel Kris Kali, my goal is to help the people of India generate wealth. I really think my knowledge could be applied in unique ways over here. India is coming up fast, and I would love to be a part of it. Comfortably numb is playing on the radio now, which is a nice change from the back to back scorpions they had going. The environment is pretty chill. I might rather have something other than slow classic rock, but I will approach the music situation if I come here again a second time. Okay. Now I am sitting in a really uncomfortable position, lol, but all the positions I have been sitting in are uncomfortable. The benches remind of the Uno’s restaurant in my home town. The booths there are so straight up-and-down, that eating there can be quite uncomfortable sometimes. I am in need of a new hookah coal now, I know it. To speak up, or not to speak up. That is the question. The time is now 21:25. Hmm. I am really liking having a place to chill outside the house, but damn, this spot could get expensive. They seem to do a lot of food delivery, and the momo’s I had were pretty good, so I can understand that. Actually at first I was wondering how they keep the place above water just selling hookah, but I see now that food delivery is a large part of the equation. Another brick in the wall part II is playing now. At least I think it’s part two. Time for more Shazam! Yup, it’s part II. Really, I didn’t need to look that one up, but I wanted to make sure I was 100% correct on the matter. I am getting quite winded sitting here toking on this bad-boy. We’re at the end of the song now. Awh. They cut out the part about not having any pudding if one hasn’t eaten their meat. My eyes are heavy, I feel it. It is still to be determined if I return to this establishment. I like it a lot, but we will know more tomorrow. If in the morning I feel terrible, and decide that tobacco products are just too much for me, I am not going to lie to myself. I will simply admit I’m too old, and my body is in no position to consume tobacco, and move on. It’s not as harsh as smoking a cigarette, that’s forsure.

I used to use the trusty semicolon so much more than I do now. I miss the days of the semicolon. Really though, I was using it far too much. It’s usually more sensible to just use a comma, or simply separate my thoughts with a good ole fashion period. Okay. They changed the music again. It’s still some slowish classic rock, but I am dealing with it. I think they are trying to please me with the music tastes. I mean, I am the only customer in the joint right now, so why not, right? I do certainly appreciate these folks trying to do something nice for me. I am starting to get quiteeee tired. Damn. I’m going to end up spending like 550 Rs here (it was 650 Rs in the end), and I have barely spent any time here (it was a long time in the end. I edited the whole article). This hookah would pair nice with a little pep in my step. I’m not about to consume any caffeine though; too late in the day for that. Ah. Squeezed a little semi colon in there right at the end. Okay. With that, I am going to switch to editing mode. I have 2700 words in front of me (3000 after editing), and since I want to post them tonight, I really can’t let this article get any longer. Editing can take a long time, I have found . To edit what I do is: reread the whole thing, and make whatever changes I find necessary; usually to better the flow of the reading. I don’t know if I am a great editor, but I am very confident with editing my own work. Okay! Seriously. I am getting sleepy. Even if I forgot to add some of my thoughts, I must move on. Time to edit! Oh! and right as I wrote that a gentleman working here offered to change my hookah coal. Cool! Time to get down to business.

Chris

* * *

A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work.
Thanks in advance!

Coming to you from South City Mall. Kolkata, India.

New day, new you. Right? Well, that’s how I feel today. It takes time for a certain transition to take place, and I will be brining you a kind of gray-area writing until I transition myself. I am still HeartOfZeus, however I am now embarking upon a new project. It took a whole morning of concentration and anxiety, and now $45 later I have made some decisions I am comfortable with. I am now a man of many faces. So the first thing that happened was: I realized my website to be offensive for most of the people I have tried to introduce it to over the past couple of days. The second thing is A LOT of people have come to my website this week. 100 people as of this morning, and you know what? That’s a better turn out than I have ever had. I need to give these folks something they like. Something they can connect with. Something the whole family can enjoy. Anyone who tries hard enough will, I am sure, still be able to link my new project back to HeartOfZeus, but the goal is to keep things separate from now on. Whereas HeartOfZeus is a platform for my writing, my new project is a platform for YouTube and Instagram. It’s not that what I produce at HeartOfZeus is certainly offensive, or even all the time offensive, but the many, many, many people I have given my business card to over the past few days certainly don’t need their first impression of me to be that I am an imbiber of sin. Well…too late. That is their impression. The reason is that I have been feeling a certain type of way since I have arrived in India. I am going through a transitional period right now. I wrote about how I was feeling, naturally. Well…that lead to a someone sending me a message which, to me, was seemingly out of the blue. They wrote me that they didn’t want anything more to do with me, and that I should cease contact with them immediately. I was hella taken aback. At first I was majorly offended, like ‘wtf did I do bro.’ After thinking about it though, I realized the error of my ways. Said person probably read my website and thought ‘Damn! I can’t have anything to do with this person. They are a bad person.’ Which is kind of true; let’s get real about it. By most standards, I am a bad person. However. That doesn’t mean I have nothing to offer. You just gotta use me right. and so I has come to brainstorming ‘how can I make accessing the knowledge Chris Buckley easier and more comfortable foreveryone .”

The answer I have come up with is to change my name, and project only the innocent parts of myself through my new persona. Ready for the name?!? Kris Kali. So on YouTube you can find me as Kris Kali, and on Instagram you can find me as @KrisKali42. It began when I contrived the username Namaskris, and to fill the gap where it would display my real name on Instagram I chose Kris Kali. but after Jo seemed to focus more on Kris Kali than Namaskris, I decided to go with the former. Like I said above, I also aquired four websites. They are: kriskali.com, namaskris.com, namaschris.com, and chriseverywhere.com. What do you think of that? I couldn’t decide, so I bought them all! Honestly I am blowing through money faster than I would like at this point, but it’s still not breaking the bank. For instance, I just spent 504 rupees on lunch…that’s like 7 or 8 bucks! It was not money spent wisely, but I am happy to be here trying  the restaurants out. Soon I will be in a position to give a hearty and proper review of the South City Mall. I’m here like every day. I really do enjoy the place. What can I say? I have expensive taste lol.

I digress. So I had some pretty serious anxiety this morning. I thought ‘maybe I have already ruined my chances at a good relationship with India’…I think some little girl just took a picture of me…I saw the flash. Anyway. I was worried I might have ruined my chances of a good relationship with the beautiful people of India, but when I sat back, took a few deep breaths, and really thought about my situation, I realized it wasn’t too late. It’s only been one week! Sure, I probably offended a grip of people, and I probably disappointed the remaining people I didn’t offend. but…what am I supposed to do? Give up? Nah. That aint me. I can’t quit yet. I am only 26! To think what I have done in the last week will have a lasting effect is…laughable? I certainly hope so. As things are now though, I have a new plan. With a new name to enterprise under, and a healthy selection of backup websites, I plan to take flight with my new wings! In truth I don’t think there was any way to avoid a rebranding. I want to keep HeartOfZeus as it is: me in my pure form.  I am hoping that this Kris Kali thing takes off smoothly. So far I have dropped $45 dollars on the project, and I feel good about it. It’s not like I can simply throw money at the problem and make it disappear, but I can’t turn a new leaf without dropping a couple of dimes, and so I did just that.

I am looking for a couple of folks to help me with my new project. I certainly need someone to help me with website design, and on top of that I would like to find a graphic designer to help me with my branding. If I could get the same person to do both that would be stupendous. Basically I’m looking for a computerwhiz-sidekick. I know you’re out there bro, and I am excited to meet you. From here out it’s just a lot of filming, and a more organized approach to presenting the findings of my research from in the field. I want to help Americans (and other nationalities) travel India, and in turn I think it would be conveniently easy for me to help Indians who want to travel America. There you have it. Kris Kali in a nutshell. Are you excited? I know I am. Now…I have been sitting here at Coffee World for quite a while, and it is time for me to take my leave. I’m probably going to just do a lap around the mall and end up writing more from Starbucks. Why do I not find it surprising there is a Starbucks in this mall? I am going to tell the folks working there that I have been to the oldest Starbucks (cuz the first one burnt down), but I doubt they will find that interesting in any sort of way. No one ever does. Peace until then!

The lady didn’t seem to know what to do with that information. I told her ‘I actually used to live by the oldest Starbucks. I’ve been to the oldest Starbucks,’ (which is kind of a lie. The line was always really long, but the one time it wasn’t a crazy long line, I still didn’t go inside) and after a very surprised look, she said ‘well, welcome to this South City Starbucks!’ It did in fact make me feel welcomed. Honestly most people I meet in America who work at Starbucks look like they traded their soul for the job. These people actually seem happy. Omg you guys. I ordered a venti red hat mocha…and I don’t fucking know why I did that. I guess I just wanted to go all out. Holy shit tho, is it ever sweet. On normal circumstances I would never have ordered such a thing. I guess I just felt in the holiday spirit. Big mistake! Honestly, to justify ordering this I would have to sit here for a long, long time. Like two or three hours. I don’t know if I am ready for that. I realized though, as soon as I sat down, that I could chill here all day if I wanted to. I could chill here all day, everyday if I wanted to. I just might. But damn. I won’t be ordering a red hat mocha again. It’s too rich for my blood. Seriously. There isn’t one ounce of coffee in here; I know it. It’s also not all that hot. I’m not complaining about it, in fact I think this is probably my favorite Starbucks I have ever been to, but I am saying I am not a huge fan of Starbucks in general. Holyshit. Seriously, if I drink this I’m going to have a panic attack or something. This is wayyyy to much. I am thinking about ordering a black coffee and an empty cup, and then mixing in my current drink with the coffee. I would probably offend the barista’s. I am probably offending them right now, just by not downing the drink as it sits. But seriously. It’s 101% sugar. The red hat mocha is not for the faint of heart. It’s for the sugar animals. and a cat like me who is trying to cut sugar out of his diet because he thinks it makes his head hurt and his brain not work so well…damn. I should have just gotten the coffee! Next time…there is always next time. Just as I gave 100 people my business card just to realize I was coming on a little strong; I will get another chance at this Starbucks thing. Damnnn it’s so sweet! ha. It’s like if you used double the amount of hot coco in a hot chocolate. Its inconceivable the amount of sweet I am working with here. Damn. Why did I do this to myself? I’m gonna order that coffee. I’m gonna order that coffee and look like a freak. Jeez you guys…I’m nervous. But I shouldn’t be. I should just be a straight shooter about the thing. Yup. I gotta do what I gotta do!

Oookay! I found the guy who’s soul Starbucks is sucking. He just took my order. Wow. I don’t know how much these people get paid…but these drinks are the same price as in America. This place has got to be a profit machine. If I wasn’t trying to turn a new leaf, I would pit them against their employer. It wouldn’t even be pitting, honestly, because these workers should be making at least 7.25 usd an hour, no questions. I will probably keep coming here for the foreseeable future, and eventually, I bet I will ask them about their wages. Hot shit this coffee is hot. Legally…damn. The word legal is different here. In America, after the whole ‘McDonald’s hot coffee incident’ you are only allowed to serve hot beverages at a certain temperature. Actually, I think before the McDonalds incident you were still only allowed to serve hot beverages at a certain temperature, but of course the minimum wage workers we’re not properly trained (or well-enough paid) to uphold that task. If you have an interest encourage you to look up the ‘McDonalds hot coffee lawsuit’ sometime. McDonalds was totally in the wrong, and they forced an old lady to go to court over a matter that should have been a simple case of apology and payment. Corporations are evil, and it’s sad to see them appearing here in India. However, who am I to talk! I’m here at a damn Starbucks right now. I bet this coffee has been laxin all day. It smells burnt. Remember I grew up around baristas. I had Devyn living in my house for a whole year. I know good coffee, even if the hayday of my coffee consumption is a relic of my past. Fuck man. Who woulda thunk I’d come to the mall and drop like $20 today! That’s insane. For most of these folks, I would think coming to this mall is a once-in-a-long-while deal. I will probably be here more days than not however. It’s very close to where I live. Sometimes you really can’t escape who you are. I’m a wealthy American. I’m an attendee of Starbucks. I will say that this establishment comes the closest I have seen to a ‘well oiled machine.’ Most of the stores and restaurants in this mall have wayyy more employees than they can keep busy. At least here the employees look mostly busy. The fact that there are so many employees standing around in this mall is what made me wonder how much they are getting compensated. Can the people who work here even afford Starbucks? If you keep reading my blog, I am sure you will find out the answer to that. Okay. I put my headphones on, and I think I am going to dive into the internet and try and do some research. But before I go, I will say they are playing Earth Wind and Fire on the radio. What a tripppppp.

Chris

* * *

A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work.
Thanks in advance!

This one is for the American’s. But the rest will be for YOU, India!

To start a new document, or not to start a new document? That is always the question. Today I choose the former. The time is 11:46 (in the morning, remember I use military time), the date is 12/6/18, and I am writing to you from the Blue Sky Cafe in downtown Kolkata. It appears to be mostly tourists, albeit the place is still not teaming with people. I am one of nine customers, and the restaurant could comfortable seat twice that many people, and uncomfortably many more. I am thinking I should buy an extension cord and carry it with me, because outlets are few, and often times near the ceiling, or simply placed in what I would consider an awkward position. However, I am not knowledgeable of the area yet, and perhaps the monsoon season calls for electricity to be held far away from the floor. Today I have traded in my camera for the trusty computer. Not that I don’t have the camera with me, because I have just been using my phone, but still. I will probably keep the video to a minimum today, and try to accomplish some serious writing. My food has just arrived! As cliche as I am going to seem, I must take the picture. For you, I do this.

The food is good. Less filling than I hoped it would be, but still very good. I ordered the masala omelette, and some Indian bread of sorts (not naan. I should have noted the proper name, but now I am home editing and it’s too late. I will find out next time). The dipping sauce it comes with smells and tastes strongly of whiskey…and my body can’t handle whisky anymore. After literally forcing feeding hundreds of bottles of Old Thompson into my body, the line has been drawn. and I mean forced. Once long ago, I kept trying to drink my morning whiskey, and my body kept throwing it up, and I got quite angry with my body so I kept trying to force that Old Thompson down over, and over, and over again. The end result was that I ended up in the intensive care unit at my local hospital later on in the day, and the diagnosis was that I had an arterial blood clot in my throat. I had an edoscopy done, and when I awoke I was being rushed to intensive care. I spent three days in the hospital. They told me that if the blood clot were to burst, they would knock me out with drugs, put a football helmet on my head, shove a tampon down my throat, and pray for the best. Can’t do the time, don’t do the crime ladies and gentleman. I was not upset, and barely scared when they told me this. If I didn’t want a serious medical scare, I could have simply not tried to drink whiskey after my body rejected it several times. It’s really quite simple, in my eyes. Anyway. So when I eat this spread they give me for the Indian bread, my body prepares for something like the above to happen. I am not an alcoholish ladies and gentlemen; I am an alcoholic. That was not the only time my alcoholism brought me to the hospital, but it was the first, and it was the most serious of all the visits.

Three ladies just sat down next to me. Perhaps they are tourists as well (turns out they were from one of the Seven Sisters of India). In culturally diverse cities, it is often difficult to determine the tourists from the locals. As of today, I find myself falling into a gray area of those two categories. I have secured my welfare by agreeing to rent from the lovely folks I am currently staying with, and I will remain in Kolkata until at least the end of January. Ahh. The time is coming where I need to seek electricity. My computer says I have one hour and forty-seven minutes of power left. Actually…I guess that will be plenty. I will only be doing a little writing today. Jeez. After what happened to us in San Francisco, we must maintain our vigilance; must we not Chris? Seriously. I haven’t even fucking touched the last articles I wrote there. Someday I will. Perhaps still sooner than you could expect. My other goal for today is to talk to someone about getting some T-Shirts printed. Perhaps I will make polo’s, since that is what most people wear here. I found a place nearby in Bow Barracks I intend to go to for this, and by the end of the day I intend to be knowledgeable of the cost of such an endeavor. My goal was originally to set out and get an Indian SIM card today, but I have again pushed that off for tomorrow. Idk why. I guess it’s cuz I have high anxiety about accomplishing such a task. As time will though have it though, I am becoming more comfortable. OH! Holy shit! I almost forgot to mention. Someone tried to sell me weed! Like fucking 30 minutes ago. It was pretty crazy. I said no and simply walked away. Of course I want to smoke some fucking ganja! but if I have high anxiety about getting a SIM card, how anxious do you think I would be purchasing some tree? I literally almost have a panic attack every time I do it in Wisconsin. But it’s medicine, so I don’t shy away. OMG! And mother fucking Scott Shit Walker is going LAME DUCK on out new Tony Evers, the later of which I have a playlist on my Spotify named after. I can’t believe I voted for that asshole. One of the first things I intend to do once I have some weight behind me, is take to suing the FUCK out of ENTIRE state of Wisconsin for ruining my friend Jared’s life during his 20’s. They will of course say simply: if he didn’t want his life ruined, he could have just not smoked weed. I however believe different. They won’t even let the motherfucker leave! Or, perhaps he isn’t fighting hard enough., I am not sure, but either way. They have had him wrapped up in probation for like four years now, and literally all he has done is smoke weed. Now they have him in some class telling him he can’t control himself. I disagree. I would say the forces of the Wisconsin Government can’t control themselves, and have detained my friend for reasons that are far past relevant. He lives about 20 minutes from the Michigan border, and they are about to have RECREATION MARIJUANA! Yet…he will still be on probation. Instead of forcing him to move to Michigan, or at least giving him a chance to do so, they have simply ruined his life. My friend Jared has a child. I will not stand for this treatment of my friends! and this is not a new fight of mine! You can scroll back in my blog, and you will see that I wrote a letter to the judge presiding over the case. Did Jared present such letter at his testimony? Probably not. Alas, that doesn’t change what should be happening in his situation. and this most recent action of trying to go Lame Duck is just…it’s not how we should run our government. A Lame Duck act is when a government party that has been voted out, but is still seated in power, passes laws and commits actions, usually to lessen the power of the incoming government. So the people spoke, but governor Shit-Walker is blatantly saying FUCK THE PEOPLE OF WISCONSIN! and so what choice do I have except to fight the good fight? Exactly. Okay. The time is 12:34 here in Kolkata, and I am going to wrap up my time here at the Blue Sky Cafe, and move onto…something else. I don’t know what I am moving onto yet…but I intend to do some more exploring. I mean, this is my home now, until at least the end of January. The reason I have chosen that time frame is because I have been invited to a wedding at the end of January, and I would just love to attend, and so I will be there. Or I will be square. Okay. Over and out…for now!

Chris.

South City Mall

The time is now 16:53, and I am at a place called “Cookie Man,” which is inside the South City mall, right near my apartment. Jeez. I wonder when I will get sick of saying that. I actually have an apartment yall! That’s a huge step for me. Now that I am observing the sign a little closer, I see it says ‘Cookie Man, Fresh Baked Australian Cookies.’ Okay. I see you Australia. I ordered the ‘pasta alfredo veg,’ (they don’t only sell cookies) and holymoly you guys…it’s really good. Hmm. So this morning a little girl, who honestly could probably speak more english than her mom, came up to me and asked me where I was from. I told her USA, and then I gave her my card, after I asked her if she likes to read. Now this girl was like 9 or maybe 10 years old. It was only after this interaction I realized that maybe my website isn’t the kind of portal a 9-10 year old girl should be visiting. That interaction is what has prompted me to use the phrase ‘holymoly,’ which is of course out of character for me. Hmm. I don’t think I will be faltering from my usual vocabulary much more, which means…I have to maintain my vigilance in regards to whom I invited to read my writing. Right? Yes is the clear answer. Contradictory to that, I do believe reaching an audience while they are young leads to a strong relationship between business and customer, or writer and reader, or say, preacher and sermonites. I learned this fair-to-be tactic from…drumroll!…big-fucking-tobacco. Yup. You heard me right. I am taking a page from the book of one of the worst industries this planet has ever, and will ever see. but whereas RJ has no problem telling kids directly (lets get real about what’s direct and what’s not) to smoke, I am actually trying to make sure I don’t introduce an entire generation of english speakers to the wrong vernacular. So far…my record is spotty at best. Damn this pasta is good. It’s probably so damn bad for me lol.

When I look around me I see the following stores: Reebok, DC Shoe Co USA, Bata, Starmark, Woodland, Hush Puppies, and Zodiac. I also see three restaurants: Cookie Man (obviously), Coffee World, and CHILI’S! There is a damn Chili’s in this mall, and honestly, I am going to be hella thankful for that sooner or later, I know it. I bet they have that good American food in there. mmm. I purposely haven’t gone in there yet, so I can save it for when I really need it. Plus, it’s probably going to be more expensive than I want it to be, and so I’d rather just wait to find that out. How much do you think a burger is in that Chili’s? Probably 700-1000 INR (Indian Rupees). Which is about 10-14 USD (United States Dollars). Alas, when I want that Chili’s burger, I will certainly be ready to pay. Everyday though? Maybe not. Now if I find out I can grab a good lunch at that Chili’s for like 500 or 600 INR, well then we’re in business, and I will probably go there all the time.

I am super under-dressed, and I smell bad, and I know it. Alas, I acted and felt no different in America. This is the hand I’ve been dealt, in the game that is life. So as someone pointed out to me yesterday, many westerners think India to be a country cloaked in poverty; head to toe famine with little to offer except for the sightseeing of slums and shanty towns. I am here to tell you that is so not true. I am in a mall right now with throngs of people who can afford to spend their money much different that I can. The young people of India are in school to be engineers, doctors, and scientists. I am a lowly writer. I am a lowly writer who is done with his pasta. I am a lowly writer who only ate a small portion of pasta, yet still probably consumed 1500 calories; that shit was thick. I mean it. That was some serious alfredo. OoOo. I recived the bill. It says…oh my god. I was in the middle of writing that sentence, and I let him take the check from me when he walked back up. Will I ever be able to finish that thought? It said like Brijaxks at the top or something. My current concern is that I put 300 rupees in and…nvm, he brought me my change. The bill was only 230 rupees. Oh. and inside is the receipt, an it says: ‘Brijlax Foods Pvt. Ltd.’ That’s what it says on the top, and that’s the company that owns Cookie Man. Cool. Always good to know where your food is coming from. My only quarrel with this place was the use of styrofoam plates. Eh. I’ll fight that battle another day. Okay. I think I am over staying my welcome here, and so I will leave. I also need to finish the above thought about how India is  complex country, full of folks who can afford $100 RayBan’s when I still can’t. To be continued… The time is 17:36.

Chris

* * *

A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work.
Thanks in advance!

I’ve been had a cold since my arrival.

Life in India is not much more difficult for me than it was in San Francisco; and that is to say it is difficult. Having absolutely nothing to do with my surrounding, I still can’t seem to figure out how to be a normal human. I used to leave my house in San Francisco to go find food…but instead of getting food and then moving onto the more important tasks of the day, I would end up walking for hours and hours, because I was dissatisfied with all the food I found. I am occurring the same problem in India. It is true that you can not run from your problems. I am loving it here, yet I am still hating myself. This is something that will take time to fix, but I will keep you updated. Most of my problems stem from the inability to make decisions, and my fear of spending money. It’s…so far beyond frustrating. The ways of daily life elude me in a way which I cold not possibly foreseen as a a child. I am able to write, and be funny, and entertain, and problem solve…but I can not buy food, or make friends, or find decent place to live, or even use a bathroom with confidence (again, same problem in America. I actually prefer to poop outside, I’ve found). As time goes on I will be talking more and more of the many items in my life which you may find interesting. Including my excessive drug use, my mistreatment of women, and my lack of navigating through the assets we associate with daily life. Stay tuned.

Chris

* * *

A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work.
Thanks in advance!