Why can’t I figure out how to make money so I can pay rent?

Life is anything but easy right now. I’m in Wisconsin, but I desperately don’t want to be. Until further notice I can only seem to attribute my actions to one goal: return to San Francisco.

I feel like I’m going a little crazy here, actually. Back at my mothers house…I haven’t lived with my mother since I was 17, and even then I never really spent much time in the house. In the morning we would leave fairly quickly to go to school, which was 20 miles away in a different town, and then after school I would go to my grandparents for a couple of hours, which was really an enjoyable experience; good vibes at my grandparents house. Finally, at the “end of the day” my mother would pick me up and we would go home. Home was the worst. Home still is the worst. Deep down I am very scared that nothing is going to work out, and I am going to end up miserable forever. But at the same time, that seems unlikely because I have come a long way, and there have been times in recent history I have been quite happy.

Idk.

I just don’t know what to do.

I know that I should be taking this time to write a book, that way, once quarantine is over, I have something to go around and talk about; something to sell.

That’s it. That’s the fucking method and I know it is.

Will I succeed? I’m not sure. I can’t tell if I should leave Wisconsin or not. I really hate it here. If I could use a stronger word than hate, I would. I’m not sure what the meaning of life is anymore. And my back hurts more and more every day.

Spark Twain

UPDATE! I almost figured out how to pay the rent!

* * *

You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo! After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

Cream City Hostel 18; How Social Media Handles Pandemics.

Instagram vs Reality Coronavirus: How Social Media Handles Pandemics. That is the name of the podcast I am listening to on Spotify right now.

I have been listening to Business Casual for a while now, but I haven’t been listening religiously. That is to say, I haven’t tuned in every single week. Since the outbreak of covid-19 however, they have been releasing episodes more often than usual. New episodes used to only come out on Tuesday’s, but the one I am going to talk about now came out on Friday, the 20th of March.

The guest for this episode is Sarah Frier, who covers social media at Bloomberg News. She has apparently written a book that will come out in April, titled: No Filter, The Inside Story Of Instagram. She also says that her job today feels less like covering a company, and more like covering a government. Heard! Hmm, apparently she works from San Francisco. I wouldn’t be surprised if I have literally been in the same room as her, probably getting coffee.

Right off the bat, Sarah jumps into the very real issue of companies, and individuals, not being cautious enough about what they post during this time. Unbelievable to my eyes! The things I have seen people post things on Instagram [and the like]. Upon seeing the posts, I always, immediately think: “bro, you shouldn’t be posting this because I don’t believe that you know if it is true or not,” [in reference to cures for Coronavirus] but I don’t comment or anything, because that is not how to solve the underlying issue, which is that social media gives us all [but especially influencers] a lot of power.

As I was preparing my coffee, I continued to listen to the conversation, and much of it came to be about facebook [and instagram, and whatsapp]. Now, I don’t really use fb, but you know what? Since leaving SF I have met many more people [and businesses] using fb avidly af, and it has made me think that I should get back into using fb to expand my brand, you know?

Oh shit! I give up! I am not going to review this podcast. I just don’t feel that what I am writing about this conversation is good enough to be considered valuable. However! If I switch it up to a random ole’ ramble, top 0 the morning to you Sally//? Now that’s in my wheelhouse!//!

So, with the decision having been applied, I will tell you: The time is 07:16 and the day is March 26th. It is the Year of the Virus. In front of me sits half a smoothie and a cup of coffee. I have to pee, but I also want to roast one. So! I am going to go do that! Might finish this podcast when I get back? But I might just put on something heady too.

Returned, but have not put anything on yet.

This girl, she is from Brazil, and she just yelled at me for waking her up. Damn. I do feel bad, but these doors are hella heavy, and I have no choice to be quiet with them. This hostel is quite nice, but it can occasionally give off some really stran ge v ibes. I wonder what has happened inside this building over the years…It was owned by the school district for a mighty long time, and the last thing it operated as was a daycare center. Now it’s the Cream City Hostel, obviously.

Sounds from 8/7/72 fill the air. This show is from Alpine Valley! On Spotify it’s called Dick’s Picks Vol 32. So…idk if Dick just has the rights to these shows…I recall Kalen telling me about this once, and how the earlier albums were all complications, but they didn’t hit so hard because that isn’t really what the Head’s want. I don’t remember what else he told me, but I have an image of him in my mind, with one of his eye brows raised, his irises turned to the sky, and his head cocked while he ponders after finishing the sentence “…so idk if he owns the rights to those shows or…” What would he go on to say next? Hmm. “August 24th 1974 though bro, you should listen to that one.”

It just occurred to me how cool it will be to include a deadhead in future my stories; fictional.

You know! The reason I started this blog was so I would get better at writing. Since I was young, I have always wanted to write a book. In fact, I think it is one of the few inspirations that got carried over from my childhood. The type of thing that, if I had to get motivated about it again, idk if it would happen. You only get one spark of madness! So don’t lose it! That’s what Robin Williams said.

I believe that strongly to be true, but I have also seen different kinds sparks, and seen how they can grow, and extinguish. My spark of madness to write a book has grown into a lust for greatness; I can’t explain exactly the feeling of knowing St Stephen will call your name…but it’s kind of like knowing someone else is going to give you an orgasm within a couple of hours.

My spark to become a computer programmer, and use that money to pay my bills and fund my dreams, what happened to it?! In fact, haha, I think many people have that spark. Once you understand how that world works, lives, and resides it’s like yeah I want some of that. Honestly I recommend this free class through App Academy. They teach the program in Ruby, and from the two weeks I experienced of it, the class was quite proper. There is no way! That, if you went into that [free, online] class with the right attitude! You can’t fail!!//!

You could absolutely go online and start the free class right now, and after two moths of intense learning, you would be so deep into the game that you would be addicted. Or…you will end up like me, and realize you are just dang bad at algebra.

Starting a business is an idea that started as a spark, and at this point my idea of opening a business is so intermingled with my skill of writing, it’s one big ass fire. I have a passion for writing, but I also have the skill of communication. When I write…I feel like I get the message across [at least when I want to], and that is something which can be translated into many mediums. It’s kind of like programming. Once you learn Ruby, learning other programming languages is going to be a different concept than learning your first one, and further even, solving problems in that new language is going to show-and-prove what level of skill you posses when it comes to programming. If you can solve any problem in any code, you are quite close to a master of the trade, are you not? Well, in the world of communication, I spiral the jockey, b!tch.

What I see as the most viable, immediately open career opportunity for myself is this: communicating the ideas of business [and corporations] into messages the people of the world can collectively understand.

If YOU have a brand, and you’re target audience is currently “anyone that has ever worn a Nike product,” I want to help you relay your message. Without clear communication, it will be impossible to get 10% of those people to initialize a relationship with your brand, and further still getting 1% of them to spend their hard-earned money with you is impossible without clear communication.

Let it be know that those are my goals. If you can pay to reach 1 million people, you should aim for 100k of them follow your advertisement back to your site, and 10k spend money with you, that investment in advertising will certainly pay off. [ten percent sounds awfully large now that I’m editing this lol]

Omg! The time is now 09:19.

I just spent a while talking to Tim, and then roasted another one. Whew. Heavy day! Now, honestly, I want to play some Civ 5. So I’m going to post this up, and then get that done. Peace! [the time is 10:02 and I am finished with editing. Do you see how long that takes! Almost an hour! For two pages!]

Spark Twain

* * *

You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

Cream City Hostel 8

Not very many minutes ago, I looked in the mirror, and a realization shot through me like a lightening bolt. I am not using this life to the fullest.

For a long time, I have been freestyle rapping, and honestly it is something I enjoy so much. There might be nothing I enjoy more than freestyling, except of course the things I enjoy more. I love to write as well, but right now I am feeling an imbalance. Too much writing with not enough rapping. One thing I have been hella hoping to do, is record some music with Super Ego. TBH he makes a different type of hiphop than I do, but as long as our vibes mesh, I think we could make some really good stuff.

In my ears right now is Roddy Ricch. This is the first time I’ve listened to anything outside ‘the box.’ I just hit the first song on Spotify, and I kind of forgot I wasn’t listening to an album, but regardless, every song was good. This is really good music. The beats are epic, and beyond that, Roddy paints us a rather vivid picture of himself. We know he uses cashapp, which I’ve never used [venmo me tho @robertplant]. He then says “slack slack.” I wonder how many things you can use the Slack app for.

I would do say some dirty shit, but I’m scared af. Oh shit, and look at that, it comes back around.

My eyes didn’t even meet their mirror counterpart before the realization struck me. Me! The HeartOfZeus. The time is 09:00 on the dot. I have probably been writing this for 20 minutes. I spent a lot of time thinking about nothing lol. That’s just an update. I accidentally deleted the last two sentences, and I thought that might be a sign, but I have decided to keep them. Whoa. One of these rappers is talking about how a girl put an ecstasy pill in her ass. That’s some futuristic shit. Am I really even living if I’ve never kicked it proper with a lady that sticks the occasional ecstasy pill up her ass? Hahaha. Maybe though, that’s some different shit. That’s a damn freak!

Kobe is dead. How many rap songs do you think he is mentioned in? I mean seriously. To get to his level of fame is…it’s something else. It came from hardwork! Mamba never looked in the mirror and thought “Why am I not squeezing more out of this life?”

I have no idea what went through Kobe’s mind. I tried to create something to say, but I realized I really really don’t know the man. With a little elbow geese, I could. You too can meet Kobe for the first time, even though he is dead.

Many things fly through my brain at the speed of fiber internet, and Meek Mill fills my ear cups. Perhaps! I should try and use the internet again. Twitch it up, or something. Meh. Idk if I’m feeling it. I am feeling this writing thing, however. Oh! I did think up the idea last night, that it wold be foolish to not use this time to edit all my writing. Ugh. That’s seriously like…hundreds of pages. Maybe as many as 420 pages. That would be ironic if it was exactly that. Idk if I’ll actually count,so we will probably never know if I really have 420 pages of unedited writing or not. Holy shit! I’ll remember all sorts of shit when I go through and read all that writing. It goes pretty far back. The time is 09:14, and I think I am going to give that a try right now. I am also going to…consume. An apple? Or some oatmeal? I can’t decide. I should be able to know the answer without getting out of my chair, really. I could eat sugar for breakfast! And not just in the form of oatmeal. Okay, here I go…to eat and edit!

* * *

The time is not 10:18, and I just edited everything above, but I don’t think I am going to edit my old writing anymore. Today..what should I work on. I need to pick something, and then just finish it. Not playing Civ 5! and not writing more for my lil blog. Oh, there is a nice guitar here now, so I might play some of that for a while.

For the Cream City Hostel I should also do some promoting, but the virus has really put a shock to my system. I think all of our systems, but definitely the hospitality industry is feeling the hella burdened.

Spark Twain

* * *

You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

Returned Emails

I feel good. The day is February 24th. Today, I opened a savings account! and I am not sure that I have ever had a savings account. But you know what? I am going to try and save my fucking money. I am just going to do it. A business, I will open, but as of late I have been thinking it would be in my best interests to do that with money I receive in the form of a loan. Tbh, I should have opened this account over a month ago. I blew crazy money while I was in Vegas. I should have saved that shit and put it to work for me. Today though? Everything changes! Today is the first day of the rest of my life! The time is 17:41 and I am writing to you from the McDonalds inside of the WalMart on Del Prado Blvd in Cape Coral, Florida. OoOoOo this cheeseburger is pretty mediocre, but you know what? McDonald’s feeds the masses, because somebody’s got to! Actually, it’s nobody’s job to feed the masses, and McDonald’s only does it because there is money in it, but I see nothing wrong with that. Now, as we move into the future, McDonald’s will have an obligation to uphold, to humanity, since they have integrated themselves so deeply into our…infrastructure.

OMGOMGOMGOMG The person from TMJ4 has emailed me back…I am hella nervous to open this email right now, and idek why! It doesn’t matter what’s in that email. No matter what is inside the email I am about to open, I am still going to tell the story of how I solved my alcoholism all across the nation. However, if TMJ4 wants to work with me, it will certainly accelerate the process. I can’t believe I received the return email while I am actively writing…okay…here goes nothing. Jeez. I had a dbl cubano at about 15:15, and it’s got my nerves on high. OKAY! Here we gooooo!

Okay…so here’s the deal: the person said they are going to confer with their “fellow Drive Sober team members” and then they will get back to me if they decide to do a story. Hmm. This is starting to feel like a No. Yo! I just sent an email saying I’m a drug addict! Don’t you realize I am the kind of person that needs closure lol. Either way, Umbrella by Rihanna and Jay Z is filling the air of this McDonalds…and that’s almost a damn reminder! Yall know I admire Jay Z; I quote him more than anybody. He found a very efficient way to tell the world what is on his mind. I can only hope that people find my content as easy to consume. That’s why I am expanding the mediums and methods with which I produce my content. I love talking; no reason to limit that to my blog!

Okay, the song is over. The nerves are still here. Honestly, the email I received feels better than if they simply said no, but, I don’t see why they would send me that email unless it was the equivalent of a no lol. I knew you would confer with her team members, and I actually assumed you would get back to me either way. Instead, you have told me you will keep me in the loop…but not really lol. Think they will ever read this blog post? My guess is…probably, actually. When you hear Spark Twain wrote about you, you are going to want to read that shit. However, they only have to do one Google search to learn that I write about licking buttholes and masturbating to women I’ve met one time, so…would you want your news station associated with that? Lol. Nah; prolly not.

Either way! I am going to take the written version of the story I sent TMJ4, and I am going to make my own highly-consumable video version of it. I have considered that I should acquisition the team behind Urban Misfit Ventures to help me with this process, but, I really am not sure that I need them. Or, actually, I am not sure I need them to help me make the video. Perhaps after I have this thing in video format, then I will move to pushing my story a hardaf. Can you imagine if I lost the rights to my own story? Lol. Not gonna happen. OKAY The time is 17:58, and my Dad is almost here, and we are going to do some shopping, and I will edit this another day. That’s peace out! From Walmart/McDonalds.

Spark Twain

* * *

You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

Java House 2

The time is 08:54 on February 21st, and I am writing to you from Java House in downtown Ft Myers. Many things are on my mind; many things I have to do. First however…blogfraba. Do you get that reference?

I love this cafe, honestly. Vibes are good, and the place is full of life. I do however have one complaint, and if Mike or his wife [who’s name I should really find out] ever read this, I mean no offense, and in fact, I believe strongly that I am just preparing them for the future. My one complaint is…the scones smell like children’s breakfast cereal. What does that mean? It means they are mostly added sugar[s], I am sure of it! It absolutely must be. Normally scones taste very little of sugar. Scones are dry, hella dry, and they are made with a shitload butter. These ones…are more like imitation scones. I don’t think they make them here in the building, I think they purchase them from a third party and simply sell them here in the shop, so really, what can be done? The whole neighborhood is going to come up though, I feel it. Sometimes I think the whole world is coming up!

The year is 2020, and E-Sports are taking over! Right? Honestly, I have zero interest in e-sports. I have zero interest in sports in general! The only thing I like about sports, is that it brings people together. With all the problems of the modern day, it would make way more sense if we bonded on things like ‘saving the planet’ and ‘ending world hunger.’ The fact that we still have religion to deal with is the pretty much the sole reason I deal with sports, and don’t bitch harder at people giving their money to Roger Goodell and Bud Selig [he was born in Milwaukee, just like me!]. Now…we have e-sports also. I have never really played video games. When I was younger, I will admit, I enjoyed watching my friends play Oblivion quite a bit. Myself? I played a little Halo 3, and I dabbled in Skyrim when it came out, and I occasionally will blow some load down and take to playing Civ 5. Compared to most folks however, I don’t play video games. Seriously, I don’t enjoy them. When I sit down to play Civ 5, it’s due to a lack of other things to do, almost strictly; Civ 5 is simply the game I like the most, but I don’t like any of them. I’ve never played sports games, because, well…I don’t understand them! The satisfaction I receive from those games is zero. I find the learning curve difficult, and I see no reward in sight. This is not me being pessimistic about things…it’s just my reality. So when I read a headline like: “Videogame Fans Get Home Teams Of Their Own,” and the caption is: “Owners and Investors behind teams…banking on people embracing esports in their home markets as much as they do traditional sports,” I am disheartened. I realize I am the black sheep here.

When I was in India, and Vietnam…I don’t recall people playing a lot of video games. Vibes were good! Now, those countries also don’t have world-leading space programs, and I think space exploration is very important. Am I estranged from esports because my purpose is different? Perhaps if I went to college, and got a job in a lab or something, or at a law firm [I would be a damn good lawyer], I would simply want to unwind at the end of my days. Perhaps I would be able to comfortably partake in watching these esport events, and I would really enjoy myself. Someday I plan to have money, and I will go to some Packer games, but I can’t see me doing it more than once a year, really.

With so many people on earth, there are humans to fill every niche, and every market. Esports is going to take off! That is very obvious. In fact, it might not even impact traditional sports. I seriously believe that people want more to bond over! My big worry is…it’s mentally easy to bond over esports, but it’s mentally difficult to bond over cleaning our oceans. Is it the same people that bond over esports are the ones who are cleaning up our oceans? If folks are going to work during the day and solving our world issues, and then at night they go to the bar, kick back, and watch the game…I have no concerns about that. However if the people kicking back at the bar are the same people contributing to the destruction of our planet, I think we are in danger. You may be thinking to yourself “Chris, the young people don’t want to destroy the planet, and they are conscious of their impact on the environment,” I would beg to differ.

Many people I have met traveling, and in San Francisco, have left companies like Google and Amazon because they felt that they were a cog in a much larger, very evil machine. When a company takes the task of stealing peoples private information for the purposes of giving them targeted advertising, and you divide it up into 100 different tasks done by 100 different coders…no one feels guilty! That’s called a firing squad. Or at least, I’m calling it a firing squad. That is my main concern with modern day society. Everyone is making good money, and our economy is booming! But at what cost?

The time is 09:29, and before I started writing this I had to move from a comfortable lounge chair, to a table & chair setup, because writing from a lounge chair gives me serious discomfort in my right arm. You know, shoulder issue and all. So I had read that headline about esports from the lounge chair. The other headline I read, and in fact it was the main headline, with the esports line being secondary, was: “Pier 1 imports files for bankruptcy” WELL I’LL BE DAMNED my mom used to shop at that store all the time, and honestly, I always thought it was overpriced bullshit.

Breaking News! The song ‘Ex Girlfriend” by No Doubt just started playing in this cafe. Now, that shit has never happened to me in a cafe, and I fucking love this song. When I’m feeling like a bamf, I like to think that my ex girlfriends have a good cry to this song. I don’t fuck a lot of people, but I certainly break hearts, this I know. When I say “Kim,” do you know who I am talking about? Well, I like to believe my blog will have the Kim Effect, because I certainly talk about my ex’s a lot. I have great respect for all of them. My relationships are sacred to me, no matter how it may seem to you, or anyone else. I don’t have a lot of relationships, but they are all really powerful, I like to think. Bonnie and the Clydesdale…because I’m hung like a horse lol. Or maybe I’m not…only one way to find out ;).

That song really did come on out of the blue [now however, I am thinking they are playing the whole album, because it was No Doubt before that, and No Doubt after that]. So I was talking about Pier 1, and I wasn’t finished. Let’s look at some facts here. 70% of the United States economy consists of consumer spending. According to this article by Jim Chappelow I found on Investopedia: ‘Consumer Spending can be regarded as complimentary to [the other 30% of our economy is:] personal saving, investment spending, and production in [our] economy.’ So when I buy a shirt at Ross, that is part of the 70%, but when I buy one-hundred shirts to sell at asmrapparel.com, that’s part of the 30%.

Consumer spending is divided into two non-equal parts. Discretionary Spending, which is non-essential goods and services, and Non-Discretionary Spending, which are the essentials including food, medicine, housing, and clothes.

“As of the 4th quarter of 2019, consumer spending in the U.S. Hit a record $13.4 trillion, of which discretionary spending clocks in at $1.4 trillion, or just over 10% of total spending,” writes Marc Davis of Investopedia. You can read the whole article, including the breakdown of how we Americans spend our money here.

Now I am looking at this article by Kimbery Amadeo of The Balance[.com]. She refers to consumer spending also as ‘personal consumption expenditures,’ or PCE. “PCE was at $14.799 trillion as of the fourth quarter of 2019,” she writes. Obviously, that number is different that the one I read on Investorpedia, and I can’t tell you why that is. She claims to get her information from the Bureau of Economic Analysis. I wonder where those Investopedia writers gets theirs…

Hmm. Neither of these articles posses the information I am looking for. For a long while, I have been under the impression that women account for 85% of discretionary spending. Is that true? Is that not true? Whoa, and then I found this article from Forbes. You will just have to go read the article. It has all the information I was wondering about in regards to the economic contributions women make. The most important takeaways from the article however, in my eyes, are: “40% of businesses in the United States are women-owned,” “Women drive 70-80% of all consumer purchasing decisions,” and “94% of women between the ages of 15-35 spend over an hour per day shopping online.” So when I see the headline “Pier 1 files for bankruptcy,” I am kind of glad, because I think most of their products are low value/high satisfaction products. Without doing any research; totally based on vibes, I would bet that most of the fabrics sold in that store are polyester, or other synthesized fibers.

Do you know how much of the micro-plastic bits floating around the ocean are due to polyester clothing? Me either, but it’s definitely “some.” If we are going to make clothing out of products that can’t be recycled [most things can’t be recycled; it’s too expensive], then we need to wear those products for generations, or at least a lifetime. What do you think the life-cycle of non-cotton fabrics from Pier 1 is? I don’t have the answer to that question, I am just talking some shit based on vibes alone. But…I’m pretty sure I am allowed to do that. Ever since I read Man som hatar kvinnor, I have been aware that I can get sued for slander if I am not careful, and so I maintain constant vigilance in regards to that.

Just because they bring you in for questioning, it doesn’t mean you are in trouble. One-Hunnit!

The time is 10:37, and I can’t believe I just wrote all that! Now…I have to edit it, lol. First, however, I am scheduled to have a conversation with the owner of Cream City Hostel about my coming there next week. Ohboyohboyohboy I am quite nervous to go to Milwaukee. It’s cold, and cannabis is illegal; not even a medical program!. I am not a fan! I will have to be vigilant about my coffee consumption while I am there, because caffeine still makes me sweat! I had a double espresso this morning and I am experiencing those side effects right now. For that reason, and regardless of the fact I have three pages of writing to edit all the sudden, I am going to step outside for a bit. That means PEACE OUT from Java House in downtown Ft Myers. I am still intending to edit and publish this article today. See you then!

Spark Twain

* * *

You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

Hyde and Bitch

The time is 15:55 at Starbucks on Hyde and Beach, and it’s busy as a beach in summer over here, even though it’s the first of the year. 

 

I have been here for some hours now, and I wrote quite a lot, but as I started to edit [something else, still] I got quite tired. It’s definitely because I ate two cranberry bliss bars. My weakness for sugar got the best of me! I feel sugar hurts my fucking joints, no joke! Can it do that?

 

2020 = less sugar. But it didn’t start today. No matter what though I need to bring a Spark Twain blog post to light, because it is on the schedule. So I am going to post this before I leave. Then? Probably go home. I was thinking about getting a coffee or something…but no. I’m doomed for the day. I am dyyyyying for a good girl to chill with so I’m not alwayss thinking I need to work. Becuase I can take time off. I just don’t have anything to occupy my time otherwise!

 

Today I will go home and lay around and surf on ig until I fall asleep early, probably. Work tomorrow. Then hoping to talk to that girl. Pray for me.

 

Spark Twain.

* * *

You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!

Grande Green Tea Oat Milk Matcha Latte ii

Welcome to Grande Green Tea Oat Milk Matcha Latte no.2, and I just love the way that rolls off the tongue. Many people, especially those close to me, might think I am making fun of your ‘typical’ Starbucks girl. This is not true. On the contrary, it may be that I meet my wife at a Starbucks lol. Everybody knows that beautiful women frequent Starbucks. They slanging sugar. I’m slangin words. What chu got? 

 

The lady plugged me on a really big espresso this morning. Today, I write to you from behind the Matcha Mask. Which starbucks am I at? The world will only know if I privy them to that information. It has recently occurred to me that, as I continue to put words out into the ether, I am more likely to accumulate stalkers than I am casual readers. I would be an easy one to stalk, I think. But hard to kill, and ever harder to swallow. 

 

I would never make fun of people’s personalized drinks from Starbucks. On the contrary, I believe the grande-green-tea-oat-milk-matcha-latte phenomenon [which would have happened eventually with, or without the corporation of Starbucks] is what draws a distinct fucking line between us and the beasts of burden. If you think Starbucks ladies are basic bitches…just try accepting one into your life, and I bet you will suddenly have more money and better financial management skills. Just try this one for me, please.

 

What about the long run though? Won’t this degrade the quality of humanity by consuming so much processed sugar? Well, I am hoping that instead of processed sugars making us all stupider, our bodies evolve to use “added sugar” as some-sort of hyper-fuel so we can keep up with the inevitable robots. 

 

The time is 07:50, somewhere in that great City By The Bay. Now it’s 07:51. I got to this Starbucks right after it opened, and so I’ve been here over two hours at this point. The urge to build my ego has become overwhelming, and I will give into the urge soon. I need to record more review videos, and I don’t know how I ended up the man for the job, but I am. AKSDGFER I am going to call Kalen. He probably won’t have much for me. But I am moving in so many directions at once, I need to find a way to chill. I will continue this soon. and I am supposed to be writing asmr articles!

 

So Kalen didn’t answer. Now what! I am sitting here like whoa. I need to just write a couple of articles and move on. I also want to film some more review videos, and I need to find out how to make sure I can monetize them. Thirdly must start attending more events, so I can build my Spark Twain persona. I would love to host some televised cannabis events in the future. 

 

Those are all the things? I think. Maybe there are more things. I am a little cold in sb right now, but I think it’s coming from within lol. Gonna take a leak and throw the hoodie on. brb. 08:01.

 

*    *    *

 

Whoa. Doin the time warp like Rocky Horror Picture Show. The time is 17:48 the next day. I don’t know what I did immediately after I took that leak, but I ended up talking to my father on the phone for three hours. So, that took up most of my Sunday. I eventually went on to write another asmr of the day article, but I don’t think I will do it again tonight. Eventually I would like to bring the community a video of the day, everyday… but I feel so obligated to write a blog post with each offering, and I just cant dedicate the time for that right now. 

 

I’m drinking milk. The red one, which is Vitamin D milk. HA;; and I am watching on the news [I love coming into Bob’s at 18:00 and catching the news with Gary], and the mayor of Fairfax is talking about how the public works department painted a white line on the shoulder of an old road, and this was to make the road look thinner so traffic would be more careful?…but it kind of looks like a one way street now, even though it’s not plus, the fucking mayor lives on the road, and the public works department didn’t notify her before they did this! Awesome! I bet they are sitting right now like fuuuuuu, cuz they made the local news lolol. Ohhh and there’s a hazmat suit situation in Emeryville. They said there could be some water contamination? But it was a short segment, they didn’t seem that worried.

 

I decided to come out because I wanted to get some work done, and you know what? I really just feel like writing a bit for my Spark Twain stuff. I wish I would have been posting last year, while I was working at MAC’D, but I wasn’t. I have lottss of writing built up from that, but I have to edit a lot of it too. There are some things I will have to delete forever, like when I wondering aloud if ******* 

 

but then, as he was writing, someone said the word “Wisconsin.”

I just met a woman named bernadette, one of 15 owners of Stud, a gay bar on 9th and Harrison. She said I should swing by and give her a visit. So I am definitely going to do that. We met because…well we met because The News was talking about how the student enrollment in a certain school in Palo Alto dropped 60% this year because the housing prices have jetted so high, and then the kid behind the counter at Bob’s was like “this is why I want to move to Wisconsin,” and I was like “I’m from Wisconsin, why do you want to go there?” and he said “ I want to be one of those people who pick up dead bodies. You get paid for every dead body you pick up. They give you like $100 per body. Milwaukee has the most. Chicago has the second most.” and I was like “Wow man, I’m from Milwaukee,” and then before he could say anything, a women in a motorcycle outfit turned to me and asked “You’re from Milwaukee? I went to college there.” The rest you will have to wait until the book to find out. That bit will make for a good story. I have so many good stories. So many I have forgotten… as is life. Anyway. Guess I’mma go to STUD first and Mecca second. 

 

The time is 18:19 on December 9th, and I am writing to you from Bob’s Donuts. My feet kind of hurt, and I am feeling quite out of it. I need to get back in the zone. I used to work at a place in the zone. Now I am full of sugar sitting on Polk street thinkin about how I should have just gone straight home. I can wake up at 03:00 and do my lil writing in the morning. Casey leaves next week to go home, on Wednesday, so I’ll be on my lonesome thru and after Christmas. I don’t know what I will do. I wish I had a nice lady to chill with, but I am too picky to just pull one out of the crowd before then. I gotta meet the right person, I can’t be fake about that shit. Sometimes wish I could be. 

 

Spark Twain

 

* * *

You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!