To Si, or not To Si

San Francisco has commenced coagulation. I have seen the city. Watched the blood flow through the streets. I barely notice the meat, honestly. I’m bored of how people look, I want to know what they’re made of! What they taste like…I want to know what they want. I want to satisfy people. Don’t we all?

I want to work less and get paid more. February brought upon new work for me, and I am gratified at this. I cook food now. I am currently mulling over if this is a processi I wish to come full circle with, as whatever I do for the next several months, I want to do with intensity, and passion. I’ve got the burn to learn, baby! At Rosa Mexicano I am being given the opportunity to cook, and definitely learn Spanish. I’ve never worked around so many Spanish speaking people, although Milwaukee has a pretty large Spanish population, so I am not completely foreign to it. Every kitchen I have worked in has had at least 1 or 2 native Spanish speakers. So that’s an interesting thing to grab-hold-of-and-run-with, seeing as just a few posts ago I was talking about learning Hebrew. Honestly, it would be nice to learn both. Currently I am building up hours at the hostel, but soon I will have days off. Learning a language requires rigorous focus and attention. I do possess the ability but will I put in the effort? Only time will tell.

Interestingly enough, my time learning Spanish is tied into my time learning to cook. Holy, shit. I can see the benefits of learning how to cut and prep food proficiently. Having knife skills? I don’t have knife skills, but I have it on my resume! I suppose being in this position, I will learn to work with food. The individuals I work with are extremely helpful and willing to help me learn to cook. In fact it was a specific gentleman from Rosa Mexicano in D.C. that made me put a good amount of thought into my dedication of time at this restaurant. He was very helpful in teaching my how to wield a knife for cutting…I just realized I found a knife one day and have it in my locker. I just might bust that out, the knives at work are not that sharp, for some reason (spoiler alert, mine was dull af). I’m going to have that same guy from D.C. teach me how to sharpen a knife today!(it never happened, and he left, but I follow him on IG now.) Woohoo! I am actually excited about that prospect. One other thing I considered: only speaking Spanish when I am at work. I bet I would learn things rather fast. (turns out that’s going to be nigh impossible.)

I don’t foresee another cooking job in my future. If I learn this skill, it will be for myself. So I am more proficient on the road. When I go to other hostels, it will be easy for me to quickly prepare meals. The downside to this is, however, that I have a broken shoulder on the dominate side of my body. I can’t tell if cutting things is unhealthy for my ligaments, but it feels uncomfortable, forsure. When I think about the fact that I injured myself beyond repair, and the rest of my life will be immensely more difficult because of it, I cry. I thought about killing myself for a long time, because fuck it, any reason will do. But I didn’t. Only time will tell if I’ll regret that decision or not.

I think I’m going to learn to cook and speak Spanish. Because fuck it; any skill will do.


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