Coming to you from South City Mall. Kolkata, India.

New day, new you. Right? Well, that’s how I feel today. It takes time for a certain transition to take place, and I will be brining you a kind of gray-area writing until I transition myself. I am still HeartOfZeus, however I am now embarking upon a new project. It took a whole morning of concentration and anxiety, and now $45 later I have made some decisions I am comfortable with. I am now a man of many faces. So the first thing that happened was: I realized my website to be offensive for most of the people I have tried to introduce it to over the past couple of days. The second thing is A LOT of people have come to my website this week. 100 people as of this morning, and you know what? That’s a better turn out than I have ever had. I need to give these folks something they like. Something they can connect with. Something the whole family can enjoy. Anyone who tries hard enough will, I am sure, still be able to link my new project back to HeartOfZeus, but the goal is to keep things separate from now on. Whereas HeartOfZeus is a platform for my writing, my new project is a platform for YouTube and Instagram. It’s not that what I produce at HeartOfZeus is certainly offensive, or even all the time offensive, but the many, many, many people I have given my business card to over the past few days certainly don’t need their first impression of me to be that I am an imbiber of sin. Well…too late. That is their impression. The reason is that I have been feeling a certain type of way since I have arrived in India. I am going through a transitional period right now. I wrote about how I was feeling, naturally. Well…that lead to a someone sending me a message which, to me, was seemingly out of the blue. They wrote me that they didn’t want anything more to do with me, and that I should cease contact with them immediately. I was hella taken aback. At first I was majorly offended, like ‘wtf did I do bro.’ After thinking about it though, I realized the error of my ways. Said person probably read my website and thought ‘Damn! I can’t have anything to do with this person. They are a bad person.’ Which is kind of true; let’s get real about it. By most standards, I am a bad person. However. That doesn’t mean I have nothing to offer. You just gotta use me right. and so I has come to brainstorming ‘how can I make accessing the knowledge Chris Buckley easier and more comfortable foreveryone .”

The answer I have come up with is to change my name, and project only the innocent parts of myself through my new persona. Ready for the name?!? Kris Kali. So on YouTube you can find me as Kris Kali, and on Instagram you can find me as @KrisKali42. It began when I contrived the username Namaskris, and to fill the gap where it would display my real name on Instagram I chose Kris Kali. but after Jo seemed to focus more on Kris Kali than Namaskris, I decided to go with the former. Like I said above, I also aquired four websites. They are: kriskali.com, namaskris.com, namaschris.com, and chriseverywhere.com. What do you think of that? I couldn’t decide, so I bought them all! Honestly I am blowing through money faster than I would like at this point, but it’s still not breaking the bank. For instance, I just spent 504 rupees on lunch…that’s like 7 or 8 bucks! It was not money spent wisely, but I am happy to be here trying  the restaurants out. Soon I will be in a position to give a hearty and proper review of the South City Mall. I’m here like every day. I really do enjoy the place. What can I say? I have expensive taste lol.

I digress. So I had some pretty serious anxiety this morning. I thought ‘maybe I have already ruined my chances at a good relationship with India’…I think some little girl just took a picture of me…I saw the flash. Anyway. I was worried I might have ruined my chances of a good relationship with the beautiful people of India, but when I sat back, took a few deep breaths, and really thought about my situation, I realized it wasn’t too late. It’s only been one week! Sure, I probably offended a grip of people, and I probably disappointed the remaining people I didn’t offend. but…what am I supposed to do? Give up? Nah. That aint me. I can’t quit yet. I am only 26! To think what I have done in the last week will have a lasting effect is…laughable? I certainly hope so. As things are now though, I have a new plan. With a new name to enterprise under, and a healthy selection of backup websites, I plan to take flight with my new wings! In truth I don’t think there was any way to avoid a rebranding. I want to keep HeartOfZeus as it is: me in my pure form.  I am hoping that this Kris Kali thing takes off smoothly. So far I have dropped $45 dollars on the project, and I feel good about it. It’s not like I can simply throw money at the problem and make it disappear, but I can’t turn a new leaf without dropping a couple of dimes, and so I did just that.

I am looking for a couple of folks to help me with my new project. I certainly need someone to help me with website design, and on top of that I would like to find a graphic designer to help me with my branding. If I could get the same person to do both that would be stupendous. Basically I’m looking for a computerwhiz-sidekick. I know you’re out there bro, and I am excited to meet you. From here out it’s just a lot of filming, and a more organized approach to presenting the findings of my research from in the field. I want to help Americans (and other nationalities) travel India, and in turn I think it would be conveniently easy for me to help Indians who want to travel America. There you have it. Kris Kali in a nutshell. Are you excited? I know I am. Now…I have been sitting here at Coffee World for quite a while, and it is time for me to take my leave. I’m probably going to just do a lap around the mall and end up writing more from Starbucks. Why do I not find it surprising there is a Starbucks in this mall? I am going to tell the folks working there that I have been to the oldest Starbucks (cuz the first one burnt down), but I doubt they will find that interesting in any sort of way. No one ever does. Peace until then!

The lady didn’t seem to know what to do with that information. I told her ‘I actually used to live by the oldest Starbucks. I’ve been to the oldest Starbucks,’ (which is kind of a lie. The line was always really long, but the one time it wasn’t a crazy long line, I still didn’t go inside) and after a very surprised look, she said ‘well, welcome to this South City Starbucks!’ It did in fact make me feel welcomed. Honestly most people I meet in America who work at Starbucks look like they traded their soul for the job. These people actually seem happy. Omg you guys. I ordered a venti red hat mocha…and I don’t fucking know why I did that. I guess I just wanted to go all out. Holy shit tho, is it ever sweet. On normal circumstances I would never have ordered such a thing. I guess I just felt in the holiday spirit. Big mistake! Honestly, to justify ordering this I would have to sit here for a long, long time. Like two or three hours. I don’t know if I am ready for that. I realized though, as soon as I sat down, that I could chill here all day if I wanted to. I could chill here all day, everyday if I wanted to. I just might. But damn. I won’t be ordering a red hat mocha again. It’s too rich for my blood. Seriously. There isn’t one ounce of coffee in here; I know it. It’s also not all that hot. I’m not complaining about it, in fact I think this is probably my favorite Starbucks I have ever been to, but I am saying I am not a huge fan of Starbucks in general. Holyshit. Seriously, if I drink this I’m going to have a panic attack or something. This is wayyyy to much. I am thinking about ordering a black coffee and an empty cup, and then mixing in my current drink with the coffee. I would probably offend the barista’s. I am probably offending them right now, just by not downing the drink as it sits. But seriously. It’s 101% sugar. The red hat mocha is not for the faint of heart. It’s for the sugar animals. and a cat like me who is trying to cut sugar out of his diet because he thinks it makes his head hurt and his brain not work so well…damn. I should have just gotten the coffee! Next time…there is always next time. Just as I gave 100 people my business card just to realize I was coming on a little strong; I will get another chance at this Starbucks thing. Damnnn it’s so sweet! ha. It’s like if you used double the amount of hot coco in a hot chocolate. Its inconceivable the amount of sweet I am working with here. Damn. Why did I do this to myself? I’m gonna order that coffee. I’m gonna order that coffee and look like a freak. Jeez you guys…I’m nervous. But I shouldn’t be. I should just be a straight shooter about the thing. Yup. I gotta do what I gotta do!

Oookay! I found the guy who’s soul Starbucks is sucking. He just took my order. Wow. I don’t know how much these people get paid…but these drinks are the same price as in America. This place has got to be a profit machine. If I wasn’t trying to turn a new leaf, I would pit them against their employer. It wouldn’t even be pitting, honestly, because these workers should be making at least 7.25 usd an hour, no questions. I will probably keep coming here for the foreseeable future, and eventually, I bet I will ask them about their wages. Hot shit this coffee is hot. Legally…damn. The word legal is different here. In America, after the whole ‘McDonald’s hot coffee incident’ you are only allowed to serve hot beverages at a certain temperature. Actually, I think before the McDonalds incident you were still only allowed to serve hot beverages at a certain temperature, but of course the minimum wage workers we’re not properly trained (or well-enough paid) to uphold that task. If you have an interest encourage you to look up the ‘McDonalds hot coffee lawsuit’ sometime. McDonalds was totally in the wrong, and they forced an old lady to go to court over a matter that should have been a simple case of apology and payment. Corporations are evil, and it’s sad to see them appearing here in India. However, who am I to talk! I’m here at a damn Starbucks right now. I bet this coffee has been laxin all day. It smells burnt. Remember I grew up around baristas. I had Devyn living in my house for a whole year. I know good coffee, even if the hayday of my coffee consumption is a relic of my past. Fuck man. Who woulda thunk I’d come to the mall and drop like $20 today! That’s insane. For most of these folks, I would think coming to this mall is a once-in-a-long-while deal. I will probably be here more days than not however. It’s very close to where I live. Sometimes you really can’t escape who you are. I’m a wealthy American. I’m an attendee of Starbucks. I will say that this establishment comes the closest I have seen to a ‘well oiled machine.’ Most of the stores and restaurants in this mall have wayyy more employees than they can keep busy. At least here the employees look mostly busy. The fact that there are so many employees standing around in this mall is what made me wonder how much they are getting compensated. Can the people who work here even afford Starbucks? If you keep reading my blog, I am sure you will find out the answer to that. Okay. I put my headphones on, and I think I am going to dive into the internet and try and do some research. But before I go, I will say they are playing Earth Wind and Fire on the radio. What a tripppppp.

Chris

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A Note from the future:
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After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
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