Writing to you from Cookie Man

I’m at the South City Mall droppin phatty stacks today. Right away I had revise that first sentence, because I have a good friend by the name of Fatty, and so I am forced to consider him when I use the wordage now. I came to the mall today with the idea I would buy a shirt. First I went into Arrow and told the lady I needed an XXL, so she brought the entire inventory of XXL shirts out for me to look through. It was very kind of her, and I felt bad not purchasing. I actually liked the shirts, but I wanted to do some more browsing before diving into a decision.  My indecisiveness is rampant, as I’m sure some of you know, and so rather than head into another clothing store right after, I went into Starmark, which is a book store. I like Starmark…and for some reason I feel like I had heard of them prior to my arrival in India. So I went into Starmark and I ended up buying a pack of two gridded notebooks; that is to say, they don’t have lined paper, they have graph paper. My previous notebook was graph, and I really took to liking it. That one I bought in Japantown in San Francisco. I ended up leaving it at my Dad’s house when I came to India, and I did so on purpose. I have my reasons.

After Starmark, I headed into a store which I have walked past several times. I decided I liked the looks of their clothes the best. The name of that outfitter is: Success. What do you think about that name? Boom. It really had me at hello, you know? It’s not only the name though; it’s the wears. They have traditional Indian style tops for men, which I believe are called Sherwani’s, or perhaps they were Kurta’s that I saw. Success also has button up shirts, sweaters, and polo’s that appealed to me very much. About seven or eight minutes I spent looking up and down the shelves at the shirts, and what I decided upon was a black button down sporting gold paisleys. I think I am going to look damn dapper; if you don’t mind me saying. Should we talk about price? The shirt cost 1,595 Rs. For yall homies back in the western world, that means I spent about $25, and that includes a 3% foreign transaction fee. Not bad. Back home the same shirt would cost $50 probably. Maybe more than that, it actually might be an $80 shirt back home. I haven’t put the garment on yet, but the store is on par with, say, Van Heusen. I am hella excited, and I am happy I decided to purchase something nice for myself.

Currently I am at Cookie Man, again. I ate here two days ago, and yesterday I tried the restaurant next door called ‘Coffee World,’ but I think I like Cookie Man more. I began my meal with the ‘pasta alfredo non-veg’ and a coca-cola, but when I was still hungry I ordered some masala french fries. Right off the bat, I can tell you this: Coffee World uses Del Monte ketchup, which is red like the color of a can of coca-cola is red. It’s the ketchup I am used to. I wasn’t really paying attention at first, but when I squeezed the ketchup from the packet over here at Cookie Man, I was struck with awe by a substance the color of blood. The folks at Cookie Man use Veeba ketchup, and I actually think I like it more. This Veeba ketchup has kind of a cinnamon flavor to it. One thing is for certain though, and that is: all the food at this mall is very unhealthy. Delicious, but unhealthy.

You know what movie I saw recently and, at the time of my original viewing it gave me high anxiety but now I love? Baby Driver. My father, sister, and myself sat down to watch that movie just before I left, and damn was it a good flick. I don’t think my brother watched that one with us. Anyway, I can really relate to the main character of that movie. Not because I have tinnitus, but because you can often times catch me with headphones on. Just now I put them on. Ha. I am listening to the Baby Driver soundtrack now; head bobbin in the mall and lookin all crazy. I wouldn’t have life any other way!

You know what I have been thinking a lot about? I would like to buy a guitar. I wonder what the cost of an acoustic guitar is here in Kolkata. Why do I think an acoustic guitar will be expensive? An electric guitar is probably easier to come by, and cheaper as well. I don’t know why I think that. I will certainly keep you updated on the situation. I’m listening to a real nice cover of Easy (like Sunday morning) right now. Aight I switched it up. Now I’m listening to Take Yo Bitch, by Wiz Khalifa. I guess that’s just how I’m feeling in this mall. Lots of folks looking at me in here. It’s kinna strange. I look just like I did in America, my dressings and all, but here they don’t automatically assume I’m a criminal. It’s kind of cool. I’m still bumping Wiz with my headphones on. Damn yall…I really miss making rap music. When I was at my Dad’s for those three weeks, I would freestyle rap in his basement every day. Forreal. It’s how I free my mind. Wow. Did you notice how my writing gravitated back to a good ole fashion ramble? Ugh. All this fast food is killing me. I don’t feel healthy right now. I know it’s the alfredo. Honestly though, it’s now like I’m frequenting the Olive Garden or something. The portions I order at this restaurant are quite small, and that’s a nice thing for a man prone to high-consumption like myself. Boy, oh boy. I just don’t know what I am going to do next. I have to check out of the room I am staying in tomorrow, but I have secured myself long term stay at that location, so I will only be gone for one night. I might have to check out for a couple of addition nights in the upcoming weeks as well, but overall I will be staying in the same place for the rest of my time in Kolkata. I am not sure where I will stay tomorrow night. I was originally thinking I would stay at the Broadway Hotel…and I still might. I did like that place. I paid 900 Rs over there, and that’s something I can handle. One thing that’s becoming reality, fast, is that I am going to need to relocate some of my money from the stock market into my bank account. Keeping up this lavish lifestyle will have me broke real quick, but my goal is to start making money soon…Damn. I really don’t know how I am going to do that, but I gotta get it done. Kris Kali is here ladies and gents! He has just been very quiet so far. Eh. The transition will take time. One of the reasons I bought the notebooks today is so I can do more planning of my videos. I need to present things in an organized fashion, my Dad is certainly right about that. He has been telling me to be more focused with what I produce for a long time, and honestly, with a goal in mind, how can I fail? Okay. I have been at Cookie Man for quite some time now, and so I will take my leave. I don’t know where I will go next. Possibly back to the house. Maybe I’ll walk around for a bit. Oh yeah…they are doing construction at the crib. Yesterday it got quite loud at times. Hmm. I could always go to Starbucks, but that place is hella expensive. It’s the exact same price as in the United States. Crazy! Seriously. Not cool Starbucks. Not cool. I almost feel like I should boycott the place…but it’s really convenient when I have no place to go. Okay! I’m off. Wish me luck! Until soon!

Have you noticed I have stopped stating the time? Well that is a fault that I should not continue. The time is currently 20:15 and I am smoking hookah at a place called the Purple Turtle. When I left the mall earlier it was about 16:00. Wow! I just hit the hookah for the first time and boy oh boy does it feel, and taste, good. It has been many a year since I have smoked hookah. I am really here in lieu of drinking alcohol. That’s a good thing. I really shouldn’t be drinking alcohol. What happens when I drink you see, is that I break out in handcuffs. It happens to the best of us. Honestly I probably shouldn’t be talking so much about it, and so I will leave it at that. Perhaps it is bad luck to overstate the already stated.

There was one group of kids in here when I arrived, and they just left. I am now the only individual at the Purple Turtle. I can dig it. When I walked in the lights were off and they were playing music sung in a language I did not recognize. Then…something happened that I actually read about in a blog before my arrival in India. Well, first, they turned the lights on. Eh. Okay. I don’t really need the light, but I can dig on the politeness. BUT THEN SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED. They changed the music to something more western. Can you guess what they put on? …Hotel California. It was only a little cliché, but honestly I can dig it. Who doesn’t like the Eagles? I know I like The Eagles. One of the kids from the group here upon my arrival told me Hotel California is a better song anyway. Whenever I hear Hotel California now I think of Gardner Kent, because he told me a story once about how he was presented the opportunity to purchase the ‘Hotel California.’ It wasn’t the real Hotel California of course, because there is no Hotel California; it is only a song. He told me that some poor sucker actually ended up dropping…what did he say?…$900,000, I think it was, on some building in Baja California (it’s either $900k or $500k, but I think Garnder told me they were asking $900k, but to him it was only worth $500k). Eventually the guy tried to get his money back, because it came to light that there is no Hotel California, but do you think he got his money back? Hell. No. No one ever gets their money back in the real world. Once money is spent, it is spent. Beware ladies and gentleman, because people will always try to rip you off. It doesn’t become any less so when you have $900,000 to drop on a building that might only be worth half that amount. How can I possibly thank Garner for the wisdom he has bestowed upon me? I simply write about him. That’s how.

I suppose I should edit this article while I am here at this Hookah lounge. I am kind of getting light headed from smoking the hookah. Remember I smoked cigarettes for 10 years, so maybe body takes different to tobacco products than it would if I had not smoked cigarettes. There’s a jamming guitar solo going on right now. I think it is the Scorpions. I shazamed it. Let’s have a look to see if I was right…Yup! Gypsy Life,  by the Scorpions. Shazam just labels them as ‘Scorpions,’ but I always throw a ‘the’ in front of their name. That’s how I was brought up to pronounce their name. Old habits die hard. Nothing is more true than that.

I ordered a 5 pc veg momo upon my arrival, and I have just finished the last piece. There was a very spicy sauce that went with the momo’s, and I enjoyed it very much. Spicy food is addictive, did you know that? I heard that spicy foods activate the same part of the brain as opium. I removed the nipple on the hookah hose now, and I think it’s hitting a little better for me. The dude who brought me the hookah got it started and he didn’t use the nipple. Idk. I don’t think anything bad will happen. Hmm. They have the coals set up in such a way that I cannot ash them. Honestly though, I assume these people know what they’re doing. I mean, they run a hookah lounge. I am simply a customer. Whew. This hookah is really making me light headed. lol. The couches and tables also sit kind of low, so typing is hurting my back. I don’t feel like I’m ready to move onto editing yet though, and so here I sit, writing. and damn, have I been writing a lot. I remember when I first acquired HeartOfZeus writing a 2000 word document seemed intimidating. Now? I produce 200 words almost every time I sit down to write. If you go back and read some of my first articles I am sure you will recognize a stark difference in my style. I really feel like I have been improving.

I wonder deeply if I will be able to help increase tourism in Kolkata. That is my goal, at least with HeartOfZeus. With my new channel Kris Kali, my goal is to help the people of India generate wealth. I really think my knowledge could be applied in unique ways over here. India is coming up fast, and I would love to be a part of it. Comfortably numb is playing on the radio now, which is a nice change from the back to back scorpions they had going. The environment is pretty chill. I might rather have something other than slow classic rock, but I will approach the music situation if I come here again a second time. Okay. Now I am sitting in a really uncomfortable position, lol, but all the positions I have been sitting in are uncomfortable. The benches remind of the Uno’s restaurant in my home town. The booths there are so straight up-and-down, that eating there can be quite uncomfortable sometimes. I am in need of a new hookah coal now, I know it. To speak up, or not to speak up. That is the question. The time is now 21:25. Hmm. I am really liking having a place to chill outside the house, but damn, this spot could get expensive. They seem to do a lot of food delivery, and the momo’s I had were pretty good, so I can understand that. Actually at first I was wondering how they keep the place above water just selling hookah, but I see now that food delivery is a large part of the equation. Another brick in the wall part II is playing now. At least I think it’s part two. Time for more Shazam! Yup, it’s part II. Really, I didn’t need to look that one up, but I wanted to make sure I was 100% correct on the matter. I am getting quite winded sitting here toking on this bad-boy. We’re at the end of the song now. Awh. They cut out the part about not having any pudding if one hasn’t eaten their meat. My eyes are heavy, I feel it. It is still to be determined if I return to this establishment. I like it a lot, but we will know more tomorrow. If in the morning I feel terrible, and decide that tobacco products are just too much for me, I am not going to lie to myself. I will simply admit I’m too old, and my body is in no position to consume tobacco, and move on. It’s not as harsh as smoking a cigarette, that’s forsure.

I used to use the trusty semicolon so much more than I do now. I miss the days of the semicolon. Really though, I was using it far too much. It’s usually more sensible to just use a comma, or simply separate my thoughts with a good ole fashion period. Okay. They changed the music again. It’s still some slowish classic rock, but I am dealing with it. I think they are trying to please me with the music tastes. I mean, I am the only customer in the joint right now, so why not, right? I do certainly appreciate these folks trying to do something nice for me. I am starting to get quiteeee tired. Damn. I’m going to end up spending like 550 Rs here (it was 650 Rs in the end), and I have barely spent any time here (it was a long time in the end. I edited the whole article). This hookah would pair nice with a little pep in my step. I’m not about to consume any caffeine though; too late in the day for that. Ah. Squeezed a little semi colon in there right at the end. Okay. With that, I am going to switch to editing mode. I have 2700 words in front of me (3000 after editing), and since I want to post them tonight, I really can’t let this article get any longer. Editing can take a long time, I have found . To edit what I do is: reread the whole thing, and make whatever changes I find necessary; usually to better the flow of the reading. I don’t know if I am a great editor, but I am very confident with editing my own work. Okay! Seriously. I am getting sleepy. Even if I forgot to add some of my thoughts, I must move on. Time to edit! Oh! and right as I wrote that a gentleman working here offered to change my hookah coal. Cool! Time to get down to business.


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A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
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