The Big Byang Theory

From a Cafe> Restaurant>Cloud Kitchen (that’s what is says on the front of the menu) under the name The Big Byang Cafe, I write to you…whoever you are. I think Jo is the only person who reads my blog. Thanks Jo. I read your email yesterday, and it made me very happy. Most of the information contained within the email I had already heard about from our conversations, but I very much enjoyed reading your organized account of things. I am not writing this specifically for you, but seriously, thanks for reading. It means a lot to me.

So I am at The Big Byang Cafe, and when I walked in things were nice and tranquil. Since my arrival the folks have put on some crazy electronic music. It’s not excessive, especially because, since my arrival, two other parties have stumbled in to partake of the food. The reviews on Google for this place are superb. One Local Guide says of it: ‘this place defines value for the money,’ and that’s a statement I can get behind. When I walked in, I could immediately tell this place takes customer service seriously. India has taken some time to get used to, of course. There are so many people, yet I find many of the establishments…my food is here. Hold on. What I was saying was: I find many of the establishments more empty than I think they should be, but I think that’s just because it is taking time to establish the defined art that is ‘customer service’ here in India. It’s taking the economy time to catch up as well, I’m sure. I added that all while editing; let us continue.

Holy Shit you guys, this is the best food I have eaten at a restaurant since my arrival in India. The Big Byang is no joke. First, let me say that I ordered only an appetizer; Pan Fried Chili Pork. It is very rich (I just talked to the owner, as he is accessible and on site, and he told me they use pork belly, which is of course more tasty, and less healthy. I am happy they choose this route). I asked if they have rice, as I hoped to consume it with my Chili Pork and all it’s wonderful juices, but they don’t sell rice. They offered me garlic bread as a substitute, and perhaps next time I will consider such an accompaniment, but for today I have let the matter lie. I am enjoying my Chili Pork very, very much; albeit rich flavor is something I am trying to avoid in my future, as I have realized that four months of eating nothing but MAC’D has decimated me in a small fashion, but that is irrelevant to my enjoying the food here. This shit is off the hook. You have to come try The Big Byang; when in Kolkata, it is an absolute must to eat at The Big Byang (plus just look at that name!). Apart from the Chili Pork, I also ordered ‘Hand Beaten Coffee.’ Not only is the flavor superior to what I consumed at Cafe Coffee Day earlier this week, but the price tag is superior too. Only 80 rupees for this coffee, and I am telling you guys: that’s a steal.

Whew! Honestly, I wish I had ordered off the main course list. There is a couple eating in the same room that I am sat (the cafe has two rooms), and they both got burgers which look delectable. I can’t even fathom how many calories I just consumed in finished that Chili Pork…is it over 9000? lol. That’s a joke. But seriously, let me show you the aftermath; just a plate full of juice. and since I drank that coffee I am about to be riled up. Alas, I am satisfied af. Sometimes the first encounter with an establishment should be considered ‘practice,’ and this time the case turned out to be that I ordered an appetizer meant to be shared by two or more people, and I consumed it all by my lonesome. Boy, oh boy…these people definitely think I’m a fatass; they must. That’s okay though. I am a fatass. Seriously! I lived that MAC’D life for a long, long time. The food was free, and so has become the cholesterol that came with it. Never did I think I would learn so much about life than I learned with the choices I made of my diet in 2018. What is there left to say? 2019, here I come!

At this point, I am thinking of sticking around The Big Byang for quite a while. Finishing this article. Maybe editing the last article I wrote (didn’t happen). There is much work I could be getting done. Drinking that coffee may have been a bad decision. We already know coffee gives me anxiety. However…this south Indian coffee (I think it was south Indian style. It had the foam on top. Either way; twas quite amazing) is certainly not as riddled with caffeine as the black coffee I used to consume at Union Street Coffee House. What can I say? I am wimp when it comes to coffee consumption. I like a dark roast because it has less caffeine, but that’s still not de-caffeinated enough for my liking. Recently, I have made the effort of migrating to tea, and the tea life is treating me pretty well. Green tea is the best for my health, as black tea still has caffeine, and thusly so does the milk tea I have been drinking here in India, but old habits die hard. These are the breaks.

It started to rain on my way here, and now when I look outside I see a wet world. This can’t be good for the individual I saw laying cement on my way here. Hmm. Oh well. I need not pay mind to his worries, for I have a plateful of my own. My head hurts. My head has hurt…pretty much everyday for like three months. At first I thought I had a brain tumor; shit’s no joke. Now however, I think differently of my headaches. I see that my diet is to blame. and if my diet isn’t to blame, well, it’s still the best place to start in regards to fixing my head and my overall health. Long ago I had a mini stroke…self diagnosed, but I’m pretty sure it was a mini stroke. It was deeeeeep into my time as an alcoholic that this happened. I still don’t want to talk about it…too scary to think about. Just know: it’s the same part of my head that I felt the above incident happen which has been bothering me as of recent. Health is wealth ladies and gentlemen, and at 26 I refuse to give up pursuance of my wealth! I plan to eat better, and start exercising more, and overall just treat my body better. It deserves better! For a long time I beat my body up, but the abuse was easy to ignore because my brain could take it. Now I think different. For what is the body except a meat suit to benefit the brain, really? At 26, things are catching up to me. If I die, just know I have been happy to document the process.

Actually…let me rephrase that. When I die, you can know I was happy to document the process. Let us hope my demise will not be met for many more years. 70 more years? 80 years more? It would be an amazing thing to live to be 100. Perhaps, with the help of modern day medicine I will see that number. No denying I might need a new heart, and since my youth was so fast lived, I will have to ssllooww things down for the next 3/4ths (boom) of my life, but I have great confidence that it is not too late to turn things around! I quit smoking cigarettes; I quit drinking alcohol; and now in coming to India I have given up my daily use of ganja. Not forever, but at least I am proving to myself that a break is possible. Now? I fight the lazy beast within; the monster that does not cook, and merely accepts the hand that is dealt to him. San Francisco taught me that I truly and literally have no self control. Those days of Illy cafe; the months that were: MAC’D. Those times are behind me. I won’t simply turn a new leaf; I will plant a garden, and within it I will turn many new leaves. I will write on the leaves, and I will give them to passersby on the sidewalk. I will turn leaves from many-a-tree, and I will do so in all the seasons: Fall, Spring, Summer…and Winter. Maybe, ironically, I will find myself turning the most leaves in Winter. It is winter at current, and just look at me go! I feel for The Big Byang cafe, lol. They, like the many establishments I have enjoyed before them, have not ended up with a dedicated article, but instead an article that is fully about me, and my struggles. My father keeps telling me to talk less about myself, but I just can’t. I only hope there are a select few people who may benefit from the words I speak. Perhaps the addicts of the world?; my brothers and sisters who battle demons they did not ask for, and perhaps cannot understand. I have long thought this blog is for your benefit. Today, we solidify that. Do we not?

Chris

* * *

A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work.
Thanks in advance!