I have returned to The Big Byang Cafe, but today I have brought less of an appetite. I am sure they will be okay with my…well they have to be, I just ordered a ‘hand beaten coffee’ by itself. What I was saying was: I hope they are okay with my ordering of just coffee for the time being, and hanging out in the Cafe for a while as I both write, and do some research. I have new plans and ideas in my head…big moves I am thinking about making. I am wearing my fancy shirt, the one I bought at Success, the store at South City Mall. In truth, and I felt it before I left the house, I am a bit uncomfortable. The sacrifice is worth it to be looking as good as I do though lol. Got my $100 wedding pants on, and now I’m rocking my 1600 Rupee shirt to finish the outfit off. What was incomplete upon my arrival in India is now complete; the outfit. I am feeling in need of another haircut, actually; I say actually because I am surprised by this factor. In my past I have gone long stretches of time without getting my hair cut. Most recently I cut my hair in…2016 I think it was? and I didn’t get it cut again until right before Brittany’s wedding. Boy oh boy…when I think about my time at the Gotthardt household I feel some type of way. I spent a long time there, and honestly I wasn’t sure about how things would go in the end. What happened is that my relationship with Jo’s stepdad has grown into a strange one. Brittany is his daughter, and these pants and the haircut I acquired for her wedding. The fact is (I think) that Jo’s family is in a different class than myself, and living within their bounds took time to catch on. My grandmothers family sprouted from ancestors that arrived to America on the Mayflower; my father was born in a Salvation Army hospital and given up for adoption to an Irish Catholic family per request. Somewhere in between these two extremes I am finding my home. Anyway, back to the lecture at hand!
To leave India, or not to leave India? That is the question. I believe I have chosen the latter, and for several reasons. First, why not?!? Is a change of scenery not within my discretion? It very much is. Also, my Hand Beaten Coffee has arrived and it is PHENOMENAL, AGAIN! Seriously you guys, if you are in Kolkata, you must make a special trip to The Big Byang. Yesterday I ate at a restaurant called Rao’s Udipi Home, and that was delectable as well, but The Big Byang is a different class of restaurant (more expencive), and for foreign travelers I cannot recommend The Big Byang Cafe anymore than the 110% recommendation I am giving it.
So, leaving India! It’s a vibe, and it’s a vibe I plan to get down with. Can you guess where I will be going next? mmmmmm Cambodia! is what I am thinking. The country of Cambodia is nearby, and I had actually planned to go there before I made plans to come to India. It was only after changing my mind that I decided upon India. It seems that for only $130ish I will be able to fly there next month. I am kind of waiting to talk to Jo about it, but my need of making a decision is another reason I have come to The Big Byang; it’s a good place to think about my future. The news keeps coming that the American stock market will continue to plummet in 2019, and honestly, I bet we will see a continual downtrend in stock market until it is time for Donald Trump’s reelection, and then like magic the stock market will begin to rise to new highs, and he will use it as his primary platform for reelection. I can’t be the only one who is predicting this. Seriously.
As the stock market continues to drop, it is obvious to me that decision time has come. Perhaps I will need to bust some moves today. If I wait any longer, I could be in dire straits. If I go to Cambodia next month I will be able to stay for one month, and that visa will cost me $30 on arrival. If I want to extend the visa for 1 additional month I will pay $45 for that service, and I will not be able to extend further. Knowing this ahead of time means I can arrive with a pretty solid plan. Or I can be fucked, duh. When I came to India with no plan it was not such a big deal, as I am allowed to stay for six months, and I did not need to provide proof of onward travel upon my entering the country. Now that I am talking about it, I actually haven’t looked to see if one needs to provide proof of onward travel when one enters Cambodia, but I don’t think it will matter for me. This morning as I hypothesized what could be in my near future, the plan practically laid itself out. Turns out plane tickets returning to America are significantly cheaper from Bangkok, Thailand. So what do you think my plan has turned into? Yuuupp. Cambodia for 1 month, and perhaps I will talk to Jo about the situation, and if she is going to be in Cambodia, and it would be in my best interests, I will plan to stay for 2 months. Afterward I will go to Thailand and stay for an undetermined amount of time…actually let me look up the visa information for Thailand right now…Okay! Turns out that I will not need a visa for entering Thailand if I plan to stay for under 30 days (there is probably still an airport tax though, I forgot to look). What does that mean for me? That means the plan has continued to lie itself out in front of me like a rolled carpet I keep kicking to extend its path. So I guess I will be leaving from Bangkok either early March, or early April. My plan is to fly back to San Francisco from Bangkok, and probably spend some time with Casey while I get back on my feet. I guess that’s a wrap for the transportation part of the article. I could, in theory, stop typing and start buying tickets…except that I don’t have enough money in my bank account lol. Seriously. This is where the market comes strongly into play. So I can liquidate some funds quick, and actually I could liquidate about $800 without having to take much of a loss. $800 in combination with the little cash I have should be enough to pull me through this situation. I have faith! but also I am finally feeling like I have a clear head to think with. I have been eating omelets choked full of veggies for the past two days, and I really think it is doing me well. Yesterday was…ah! I had to look back in my messages to figure it out lol. Bowhow! I need to exercise my memory more. So yesterday was a green pepper, tomato, and onion omelet, and today it was eggplant and tomato. Quite the way to start a day! Oh boy…I have to pee…but perhaps I feel the other coming on too. I am not very good at pooping in public. Either way, I am going to go figure the situation out. brb.
Okay. I didn’t poop. I merely took a leak. I didn’t come directly back to my computer afterwards either. I took three bubble photos here in The Big Byang Cafe and I uploaded them to Google right away. I also sent SequoiaRyan some messages and did a little scrolling through my Instagram page. Whew. The coffee is hitting me now. The sweat has kicked in. I am considering ordering some food. I ate that omelet not so long ago, and then right before I left the house Cecelia offered me some dal and veggies, so I got down on that. It was quite good, and it was healthy, which is most important, but the moral is that I probably don’t need more food. This coffee probably isn’t healthy for me either. If I consume a product and it gives me anxiety…maybe not so good for me, right? I just blew my nose a little bit and I feel good about that. See, it’s good that I wore this fancy shirt and the fancy pants, that way when I return to the house, my relaxing clothes will make for a nice contrast. Even if they aren’t so clean either.
I am yawning. I think it’s the coffee that’s making me yawn! Perhaps I need water as well. Okay, I drank some water. Last time something started to make me yawn (cigarettes), I quit smoking. Perhaps my relationship with caffeine is coming to an end and you are witnessing the days of dwindling. I actually feel a little stress in my neck as well, and we just can’t be having that. I am not so sure it’s the muscles. Only time will tell though.
So I can’t tell what is happening sometimes as I travel, mostly due to a language barrier, and so when my waiter here handed me a menu I was unsure if he was being polite, or insisting that I order food. Rather than be confused, I ordered food. I ordered a chicken burger. I’m also under the impression they made my coffee a little stronger this time, and of course they are trying to be polite, but I kind of feel…super anxious? People always assume I want stronger coffee, and more of this, and stronger that. It’s unfortunate, because there is probably a version of me somewhere in the multiverse that appreciates stronger coffee. This Chris however, he can’t handle it. I’m yawning! When coffee makes you yawn, it’s time to review your situation. I really only ordered the coffee because it’s what I am used to doing. I need to start drinking tea. Green tea to be exact. Yeah. I totally don’t feel okay. I would even venture to say I feel scared. Which…isn’t a good way to feel. I wish I lived different sometimes. I need to start doing what I know is right for my body. It needs to start today, for real. No excuses. All I can do is stop drinking the coffee, and that I have done. As I grow older I have begun to think some of the feelings I have within this body were destined to be since birth, and although I have accelerated them with my poor living, it’s just how things were always going to be. But today, I am done being scared of myself! No one should consume a coffee, or any product for that matter, and then feel anxiety, especially in the way I am feeling. So, I will change my habits. I just have to do what I have to do. No excuses. I used to feel scared when I would experience alcohol withdrawals, and so I put a stop to it. Now, it’s onto the next battle. For now I am going to put the computer away, as I am sure my food will be arriving soon. Peace out!
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