San Francisco, I have returned! The clock on my computer is telling me the right time again! Woohoo! It’s 04:03, and I am writing to you from the 24 hour donut shop in North Beach, and there are a good amount of people in here right now; granted it’s Saturday. I arrived here at 10 yesterday morning, and I met Casey at the airport. We smoked a bowl out front and left on the BART by 11. By the time I dropped my bags off at his house, it was an hour before my flight would depart from China. I traveled back in time! I left Hong Kong at 13:10 on Friday, and arrived in San Francisco at 10:00 the same day. I had always heard people talk about experiencing that time-travel phenomenon during travel, but to have gone through it myself, well, now I feel like a real traveler lol.
My computer says it’s going to die in 53 minutes, which is actually an improvement over when I opened it and it said 28 minutes, but I turned the brightness down and was able to save some life. So I arrived, met up with Casey and we hoofed it around, and then at 14:30 we met up with Kalen at the Cal Train Station. Let me say first of all, that Casey is on a stampede of trouble and I just don’t. know. why. He is always trying to get me to do something outlandish, like smoke weed in the Cal Train station for no reason. It feels rude to smoke in there because it’s kind of an enclosed area. He is always talking about how the city leads the world and shit like that, and five seconds later he’s darting into traffic because he’s on a “take the streets back” movement. Apparently cars create 90% of the air pollution in the city, and he thinks there should be no more cars in SF, only public transit. This is an interesting theory. I am not yet sure what I think of it yet. I do like the idea of a San Francisco with no personal cars. Only Uber, Lyft, Muni, Bart, Cable Cars, bikes, and walking. I dig that. Especially if the public transit was really free. I only treat it like it’s free right now.
So one thing that is different about the city since five months ago is the amount of homeless people. There are way less homeless people blocking the sidewalks in the middle of the day and shit. I haven’t yet determined how I feel about the situation. It seems to be different at night. There are still some homeless folks walking around. In fact, one just came into the donut shop from the south, and left to the north. She has been chilling outside for a while too. I just finished my maple ole fashion. Good way to start the rest of my life, huh? I know. I also have 2 joints rolled, and I suppose I am going to smoke one in…1 minute because it’s 04:20. Bingo. Then? Idk. The plan is to kill time until USCH opens at 6am. I kinna wish I brought my book, but I didn’t. Oh! I nearly forgot to mention the reason I am up at 04:20 is because of jet lag. Casey was all drunk anyway, and I had to follow him home because there is only the one key, but it worked out because I was tired and so I fell asleep at like 3 or 4 in the afternoon, and I woke up at midnight lol. I then found Casey’s keys and went and smoked 2 bowls by The Saloon, came back, laid around for a while before deciding sleep was fruitless and so…I came to the donut shop. The plan is to chill here until I go to USCH, and then I need to do my taxes, and figure out my banking situation, and of course find a job. By mid-week I should be working. Okay. My computer is telling me it’s going to die, and I believe it. I have a lot of fucking time to kill, and I missed 04:20 now. Oh well. I am going to go smoke a J and then…idk. Mope about? lol. It’s going to be a long ass day, but I will have fixed my jetlag by the end of it. Casey busted out these sleeping mats too, so my living situation is looking pretty good now. Comfy at least. So I smoke and then…maybe I just walk and listen to music? I am home! I am free! and this is the first day of the rest of my life, and I feel good about it. I am glad I left the house to write tonight, even if it results in my being hella tired later. Okay. Peace from North Beach!
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Guess where the fuck I’m at? Union Street Coffee House, that’s right. I am waiting on a bean burrito; nvm the burrito just pulled up. I already consumed a shit load this morning, cuz I ate that donut at the shop earlier which I wrote about, but then I also ended up eating a fucking muffin while I was there! Eventually, at like 05:20, I messaged Casey because I knew he had to work at 6, and we met up and smoked half a joint. I then walked from North Beach to Cow Hollow, where I am now, writing to you at 07:14 in the morning. I am going to eat my burrito.
I have been giving some thought to starting a San Francisco vlog. I mean there is a ton of content about sf available online, but idk if there is any in-depth and intimate content available. I mean we could go through and try every restaurant in the city, and shit like that; that sounds really fun. I was walking over here, Union all the way from Columbus I walked, and I was wondering if I should make one of my life goals to own a piece of property in San Francisco. I have avoided clinging to that since it first cropped into my head. If you are unaware, let me explain: I have a goal set in my life. I believe since I stopped drinking alcohol I can “make a million dollars,” right? but I decided I need a more regimented goal for the long term, and I have decided upon “I want to own four pieces of property by the time I die.” This is my ultimate bucket list goal. I believe I can accomplish this goal because I can accomplish anything, and I believe I can accomplish anything because I quit drinking, and in tandem to that I am always board. Buying a house in San Francisco…I would view as a bonus. If I own four pieces of property and still have enough fight left in me to fill up on more real estate, I will come to San Francisco, that’s kind of what’s going on in the back of my head. All that being said, I still want to dedicate myself to the city for some time, and let’s say I stay here for two years making money, a blog specifically about San Francisco would certainly have time to grow and mature, and even come full circle ideally to the point where moving on from the vlog would feel right. Yeah… I gotta get Kalen in on this. Kalen and myself and sometimes Casey [when he’s not being too crazy] would be a deadly combo for broadcasting. We aren’t exactly in the ballpark for what the new wave of tech earners in SF would be into, but we are certainly in line with what the locals and the tourists would consume. You don’t have to like your market, but you do have to know it.
I look around me; I see this lady on a laptop a few tables over working on something, and it could possibly be a resume. Reminds me I need to work on my resume. I should really be doing that instead of writing this, but hey! I yam what eye yam; a lazy mother fucker. I don’t feel any type of way about it, a job will come to me. I know there is a place in the city for me; I know it! Kalen works 6 am to 2:30 pm. I need to get a schedule like that. If I want I can get an additional part time gig, but what’s better is that I will have time to work on some side projects & hustles. The move to end all moves. I think it’s printing T-shirts, at least right now, and at least for me. I think we should do the same thing as this company called 6 dollar shirts does. I follow them on IG, but maybe we should do our sf thing with it. We could just print SF, and maybe other West Coast shirts…or anything. If we had the ability to sell shirts for $6 I believe we would muster the gumption to coerce an ample amount of customers into our online store, and in a few short years we would be living totally different lives; Kalen and myself. Shirts man! For me; right now, that’s where it’s at. I think I always knew…somehow I would end up in the t-shirt business. It’s not industrial, but it is a little more blue collar then I was hoping for with my life [even though life has just begun, and this is by no means how I will be defined], but I feel real good about it, and so I am going to move forward. Plus, we’re not an apparel company, we’re a technology company. Bitches.
It’s not even that cold, but my hands feel, like, frozen. It’s hella lame. I also realize I am quite bored. I am going to need to find a place to rest my head, I know that forsure. Also what I know, is that I have 2 weeks at Casey’s house, and then things might switch up. Two weeks in a long time. If I wasn’t working in two weeks…there would be a problem. Even today though…here I sit: stoned, and kinna full of food, while also thinking about eating more food. I’m sitting around thinking my brain hot, more than I am writing; and I am writing more than working on my CV! Not the move. What am I really trying to accomplish in life? It wouldn’t seem my goals align with my actions, and I told myself when I got back to SF that would all change, and I would maintain discipline and self-control and get right on the road to riches. Hmm. Easier said than done I suppose. Even so…I need to maintain my discipline, and so I will do many little, and easy things, instead of taking on huge tasks like I used to. For instance, I should just bust out that CV quick this morning, because it would be a quick and easy move for me. Yeah. Okay. So I do that…and then idk. There is a parade today, but that’s all that I know. Really, I would like to lay in bed and have a nap lol, but there is no place for me to do that, and even if I could get into Casey’s right now the idea of napping on his floor isn’t exactly what my dreams of napping in a big, soft, warm bed would be fulfilled by.
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I am writing to you from Casey’s room. I feel a little loopy, partially because I am sick, and partially because I have been up so long. He is eating a sandwich, and I am eating a muffin. These are the good days. Tomorrow I have to get my taxes done, and then the next day I have to find a job. I feel good about it. I spent the day chillin with Kalen. We went to Delores Park, and then took a walk all the way to 21st and Potrero. We talked a lot about starting a blog. I am pretty excited by the prospect. We talked about how we’re gonna have to figure out how to edit some video. I am also aware I will need a set schedule to help me accomplish more. Today was kind of a fail, not going to lie. Smoked a lot of weed and ate a lot of sugary treats. Not the move, but the day is done. The time is 17:56 and I am chilling with Casey trying to stay awake as late as possible. I think he might go to sleep at like 7 [19:00] or something. My stomach still hurts, and now my throat hurts from that plane ride, and I am just so excited for all that to pass. Damn, I am tired though. If I fell asleep now I bet I would wake up at 2 in the morning. No good. Gotta try to avoid that. Ugh. My stomach. I should, and will probably go drop a deuce soon. Omg tho I am tired. I could fall asleep no problem right now. No good. I should wait at least two hours if not more to fall asleep. Idk if I can do it. So comfy…
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Do I write enough? I read a quote from Jack: “I knew if I wanted to be a writer, I needed to write. A lot.” I have no idea how close that is to the actual quote, it’s just my summary of it, but now you can quote me on that shit, because I know if I want to turn writing into a profitable venture…I need to write a lot. Making money with writing isn’t the ultimate goal, but I would like my blog to sustain itself. I doubt I’ll find tradework for my writing lol. Although, I am right across the street from the Zoetrope Building, and I have long thought about contacting them and seeing if they [Francis Ford Copella, I guess] would let me stay there while I write my first book. Alas, I don’t know if they would believe me that I would finish the book [do I believe me?], and further than that the idea of writing a book has within recent months slipped from my grasp. Now that I am sitting here writing to you it seems like the obvious thing to do. This lady just walked past me and I was looking at her while I was typing. It was kind of a funny thing. Whoa. I can just do that over and over again. Look people in the eyes while I am writing this shit. Whoa. I can get down with that. Dude! I did it again! People wave at me and shit. Hmm. Awesome. It’s hard for me to nod my head back at people while I am typing…but if I practice I will probably get good at this. Maybe I’ll become, like, an sf staple: the guy who is always writing at the window of happy donuts and he’ll look at you while he is writing if you walk past. I suppose ppl’s goal would be to try and shock me into a state where I mess up my writing. That sounds like a fun time. Damn a foxy girl with a skateboard just walked past. I wasn’t typing at the time, but I looked at her ass anyway. I am going to look right at women’s asses while I am writing as they walk past this window…and that’s my pickup line. fwm.
I am using my Laos scarf tonight. I was using it as a blanket last night and I realized that it is cold enough in this city to justify busting it out as a scarf, which is really the reason I bought it in the first place. So tonight I sport the longgg red and black scarf, handmade in Laos by some lady I saw in a picture at this coffee shop. I am on my third muffin since I entered the city. That is just disgusting. I am seriously disappointed in myself for the way I am living right now, but I feel the change coming and so I am just going to let it play out. I am thinking about smoking some more of my joint before I finish my muffin. I also have a Gatorade with me, but no water. I bought a gallon and of course I aint brining that with me. I left it at Casey’s.
I have been thinking a lot about girls since I returned to the city, can’t even lie about it. I am going to need to find somebody to fuck, probably on the regular. It is going to be someone I have never met before, I have decided that firmly. Unless it was the girl who bakes the donuts at Bob’s donuts. I would consider hanging out with her, even though I kind of already know her. I actually don’t know her. I’ve only ever talked to her one time. I had seen her in there, and I was obviously attracted to her, and so the next night after I got off work from MAC’D I came over to Bob’s and she was outside smoking at 3am and so I stood and talked to her. Later that night she stuck around after work, and even sat by me, presumably because I was supposed to keep talking to her, but I chickened out! Because I had a girlfriend, you know? and on top of that I lived with my gf, and idk, my intention certainly would have been to take this women back to her house and court her, and so I just felt like continuing the conversation was futile; I never did. I think everyone at Bob’s thinks I am weird, because I followed some of them on IG, including the girl, and not all of them followed me back, including the girl lol. So I kept coming in there for a long time, and I even wrote about that girl a bunch in my unpublished writings, but I think she thinks I am weird; and I think she’d think it was really weird if I started trying to hit on her now, so late into the game. All things considered, I might talk to her anyway, because I can sum up the whole situation with: “I used to have a gf,” and if that isn’t a good topic of conversation than I might not be interested in talking! Honestly I need to find me a women who is down to support my ass; like that one guy supported all the beatniks. Idk who is was. The time is 11:20 in San Francisco, and I am going to go out front of Happy Donuts and smoke some more of my J. The guy just came out with a hoolahoop asking “anyone want this? I’m going to throw it away.” I missed San Francisco.
So the San Francisco blog feels like a real possibility. It’s actually only a vlog, because I only intend to fuck with video. I already write about San Francisco in my own strange way, so this is something different. and with it comes a specific revenue stream, because I [we?] and going to be focusing on YouTube specifically, and therefore YouTube ads are going to be where our revenue comes from. If we find a second revenue stream through sponsors, that would be ill, but it’s nice to even have certainty about the first one. When it comes to selling t-shirts Kalen and I are on slightly different pages, because he thinks it would be better to sell shirts in person, and I think online. I want to do online because then I am making money while I sleep. I could, of course, do both [sell p2p and online], but if I was in the city would I be selling shirts to tourists, or locals ? Hopefully both. I need to blow my nose, a lot…it’s totally lame. Not only do I use a lot of paper, and make a lot of noise, but I am getting a raw nose and it means I’m fucking sick. I don’t wanna be fucking sick! Kalen thinks it’ll be like when I arrived in India, and that sickness, ugh! oml I felt like it lasted two weeks. I don’t think I’m about to be sick for two weeks. I am already tuning into the city vibes. I climbed more hills today than in the last 4.5 months, and I am hella happy about that. [I climbed one huge hill in Laos, It was a big one though, and steep.]
You know what the move is going to be for me? Spark Twain. I can’t believe I am saying that. It was like, instantaneous! Casey loved it, and Kalen told me it might “even be more catchy that Heart Of Zeus.” Of course it’s more catchy than heartofzeus! Ha. I realized that right away. I guess when I look at the name, or say the name, I am worried I can’t fill the shoes it implicates. I mean if you’re going to call yourself Spark Twain, you better come with the heat!know mean? I actually want to spend more time at the library. Kalen was telling me how he just chilled out at the library for a month, and I remember him messaging me during that time. He would send me pictures of the food he pulled off trash cans, and the books he was reading through, which were often quite old and classic works. Sometimes text books. Ha. I remember those days now. I don’t know if I appreciated it as much as I should have. I could have been living the sf life vicariously through him; he was setting it up on a T for my ass! Now I get it though. He just lived in his car for a month when he pulled back into the city, and he did it through the freegan diet, and living most of his days at the library. I could live that life, and while I was living it I could brush up on my Mark Twain reading. I can’t go without a job though, that’s just real life shit. My lame ass can’t even keep up the freegan diet. There was a piece of chocolate cake on top of one trash can, and a handful of frenchfries atop another, and I missed out on both of those things. I felt kind of dumb about it later, even though it’s just eating off trashcans. Idk. Maybe I’ll just get into the freegan life for a little bit lol. Sometimes it’s hella good. I remember some of the things Kalen would eat back in the day lol. He still talks about the cheesecake; I remember the cheesecake. He was pulling something out of the trash to eat, and like usual I was like ‘whatever,’ but then he showed me this piece of cheesecake he had just scooped out of the bin and I absolutely had to try it. That was my first freegan bite, and I have been curving the diet since. That was last year, end of summer maybe. Freegan isn’t a bad way to live though, and it’s really only available in San Francisco, that I have seen. A little bit in Seattle maybe. The homeless there are a little crazy sometimes, and there are a lot of them. Definitely some freegan in Seattle. This turned into a long ass paragraph.
I never noticed there is guitar playing in the background at the end of Nikes by Frank Ocean. It’s only in the left ear, and it goes on for quite some time. At first I thought I was hearing something, but naw: it’s the song. Good shit. I wonder if Frank Ocean plays guitar. I have no idea. It’s 23:58. I need to do so much! Shower, brush my teeth [I didn’t do this task from 4/12-4/19, real talk I need a girl to kick my ass into gear with that shit], and do my taxes. Kalen keeps talking about how after I know how much I am getting back from taxes, things will be different. Cool. I suppose it’s true, and I am excited for that. So in the morning I am going to wake, and then I am going to head to a cafe and do my damn taxes. Right? Idk. Kalen is also telling me I shouldn’t worry about doing my taxes on public WiFi because no one is going to give a fuck about a couple thousand bucks. I pretty much agree with him. It still feels weird to do taxes over a public wifi though. I suppose you also have to worry about your information getting stolen and sold; that is a real fear too. Still, I don’t think anyone wants my Identity. I don’t think.
I am considering ordering another pastry. I pretty much already know I am going to do it. I need to get off this shit. Monday. Monday I kick in a new regime; a new more healthy lifestyle. Obviously it might cost money ,and that means I need to find a job, probably a job that includes food. Pinterest sounds like the spot. I wonder if they’re hiring lol. So it’s midnight on a Saturday and I just woke the fuck up lol. My shit if off kilter. Plus I am eating all this food and spending all this stupid money. I’ll get there. Monday. Sugar is probably the number one thing I need to chop off my diet. I consume a lot of sugar. That’s a pretty new thing for humans.
Some lady just came up to me while I was ordering a donut and offered to buy me food. She walked up to me and said “you want some food? I’ll buy you anything you want.” I laughed and said “No I’m good, thank you though, I appreciate it.” I should have just said fucking yes. Damn. That would have been the move! Idk. I feel so weird accepting free food from people. Kalen is going to give me hella shit when I tell him this story. It’s good to know I look homeless though. I can seriously get behind that. Next time I am just going to say yes. No matter where I am. I think that would be the move. First of all, I would have gotten something more healthy than a donut without any stretch of the imagination. I could be eating a sandwich right now! It would have been lit! I’d have a double turkey or tuna coming on the way…omg you guys what was I thinking! Am I shameful? I don’t feel that way. The truth is if someone wants to buy me food I am hella down with that. I could walk back up to her right now and she would still buy me food, I am pretty sure of that. Damn. It’s not often people ask to buy me dinner in San Francisco lol. It must be the beard.
So Monday. That means tomorrow I need to at least do my taxes and shower and whatnot. Casey works at 10 I think, and Kalen has the day off. What were we talking about doing? Oh, he said he’s doing his laundry. I might come up to his side of town and check his crib out, Kalen. He lives on 36th, and if he walks outside he can catch the 5 right there. What a move. Walk outside and catch the 5 bus. It comes down to the fact…do I want to live with Casey? He is mighty weird. I don’t think I’d want to fork over $600 unless I also had a key to the place. Damn these donut are sweet as shit. Maple ole fashioned now. I know, I know. But I just quit smoking cigarettes again, give me some time lol. Man I can’t get over that sandwich. I could be having a sandwich right the fuck now. I could have saved it for breakfast or whatever I wanted. Damn damn damn. I am not living that freegan life. Will I ever have money again? That is the real question. What if I am just not trying hard enough? If I looked the part would people offer to buy me food all the time? I would get good at accepting it. I was really craving that Jewish Delicatessen today…I can’t remember the name of it. I keep wanting to call it Jakes deli, but I am pretty sure Jake’s is a place on North Ave in Milwaukee lol. Omg I am almost done with the donut. Lame sauce. The time is 00:27. What time am I going to stay out until? I will eventually have to go in, and I suppose I don’t mind waiting if I am not tired yet…and I am not tired yet. If I sleep from like 3 to 9, I think that would put me pretty on point for fixing my jetlag. Damn! Jetlag is so real, and it’s just a wild piece of the modern day lol. It’s rare to experience jetlag also. Kiwi says only 5% of the human population has traveled by plane. No one believes me when I quote that though.
Plenty ass rolling by this window right now…and I am feeling like putting in the for night. I know I was just talking about going to sleep at 3, but I got a stuffed up nose and I don’t really feel that great, plus I just ate all those sweets. I have half a muffin and some bread at Casey’s too. Mmm; lol. I will probably eat the bread in the morning. Probably go and meet up with Kalen again. I don’t have any drive right now, but when I find it! I want to get down to filming. Okay. I think I am going to call it for the night. I will probably write in the morning though? Oh shit, and do my taxes. Okay. Peace!
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It’s April 14th. That means it’s 414 day! and actually tomorrow would be 415 day. Ha. It’s weird that Milwaukee and San Francisco have area codes that are right in order like that. Okay I was just busting out my writing until I got my food. Now I am going to do my taxes quick. The time is 10:37 and I am at Quetzal Cafe in San Francisco.
Okay! The time is now 11:27 and my taxes are filed as a bitch. I have over $1200 coming my way, and that’s after I paid like $400 in fines for not having health insurance [turns out I could have avoided that, I am so upset]. Cool. Next up? Idk. Casey can’t find my chillum, and real talk I would like to have a pipe so I can be smoking, but damn. It’s gonna be a real hit to the wallet if I go buy some glass right now. Okay. I am going to post an IG post I think right now. Eh. Maybe I’ll wait until tomorrow. Monday is my favorite day of the week, and I’d rather make an appearance on Monday than on Sunday, forsure. I am up in the air about maybe going and borrowing some money from my G. I bet if I call him he would give me the plug. I’m not 100% sure about this, but I have a feeling he would help me out. I don’t quite know what I want. A hundred bucks? I’ve run through like $60 since I’ve come back, and that’s just super extra. I should be living that freegan diet and saving hella doe…tomorrow. I change tomorrow lol.
I think I am really gonna buy a pipe you guys! I don’t feel like I have much choice lol. I am not about to roll a joint. I could maybe roll 1 joint, but really I need to be more conservative with my weed, forreal. If I get a chillum it’ll save me money in the long run. Okay. So I am going to go do that…probably now? And then I gotta settle in somewhere and do my CV…I should probably just do my CV right now. All I gotta do is edit it a little and probably add in MAC’D, then I’m good to go. In fact, I might have one ready to go from when I was applying to teach English in Spain. Boom! Resume was already prepared, not just because of the TEFL jobs, but also because I prepared an application for working at the Adelaide Hostel [they emailed me back and told me they are overstaffed for the foreseeable future]. The time is now 11:49 in San Francisco and I don’t know what the move is. I really think I am about to walk and buy a pipe…but I am going to be broke as a dbl-joke then, seriously. I’ll have like $20 or less. No good. I can pull $20 out of the ATM also, but then that’s all I’ve got! I gotta sell some stocks and close my bank account. Probably pull an additional $130 bucks out from that, but then I am really really out of money. Hmm. Well. I am going to cut with the writing and go figure my life out. Might just end up in a donut shop talking to you soooon. Peaceeeeee.
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I’m eating another muffin. I officially have fucked this writing thing up. I have like 200 pages of writing to publish, some from last year, and more recently a 20 page article from Saigon, and now this! Eight pages. I need to do something about this. Maintain my diligence? That’s probably the thing. Same with everything, really. I keep saying Monday…we shall see what really happens Monday. I am at Happy Donuts charging my phone, and I might text Casey and ask him to get me some bread. He usually doesn’t look at his phone though.
The morning I will be refreshed! Jetlag gone, and Monday in full effect, I will go to…Union Street Coffee House, and get a scone and an espresso and work on finding a job. Maybe I will get coffee, it goes further. I feel like I’m going to end up at a restaurant job with a shaved beard lol. Or maybe a tech kitchen. That’s what Kalen does and it’s totally the move. He works at the Pinterest kitchen. I totally just got another muffin, and a coffee. I am living the dream right now, but it’ll have to stop. I’m like Casey in that way; when I want something; I want it, and I know when I no longer want it, I will shake it, and I know that day will always come.
Casey is off of work. I wonder what the plan will be now. I am full of muffin. af. Probably not the best way to stay up late and shake off jet lag, eating a muffin. I have this coffee though. It was self serve, and so I mixed all the coffee’s together. I am now sitting here thinking of all the jobs I could apply for. I could work at a concert venue. Or a restaurant. Or a head-shop. Book store? I could apply at Best Buy, or Auto Zone, both of which are places I’ve worked before. I could work at a hotel, or a hostel. The one place I can’t see myself working: a coffee shop. Unless it’s like, working on my computer and writing my blog, you know? I finished my second muffin now. I’m already thinking about my third lol. No gooood. These things are just full of sugar, I can feel it. Plus if I eat all this food I’m going to want to fall asleep. Maybe I can just go fall asleep on Casey’s floor right now, but maybe not, plus it’s kind of uncomfortable. If I move into his spot I need to get a bed or a couch.
* * *
I’m doomed af. I am writing to you from USCH and the time is 10:39. I woke up at 02:00, and then I just layed around until 06:30 when Casey and I left the crib and headed out to wonder. We made it pretty damn far meandering today. We walked in a big circle around soma, and then took the 10 for a couple of minutes, only to walk some more and go take a look at the new Warriors arena. It looks nice. From a distance it kind of looks like a spaceship. We sat and smoked a little bit watching the city workers cut grass. Eventually I convinced Casey to get on the 22 with me, and we rode that for a while. My phone was dead, but I had my headphone splitter so I plugged into what Casey had booming, and boyohboy, was it booming. Seriously, too loud to handle. I just draped the headphones over my ears and went to sleep. Casey got off at Geary, and I rode all the way until Union street. It was a long ride, and I am glad I got a nap in on the way. When I arrived I bought a coffee and sat down. I opened Craiglist and began to look for jobs. Not a whole lot of stuff on the web, and a lot of it far away. I want something close by and in the city. This is how I deemed that: I am fucked, and Casey is right; I am going to have to print off some resume’s and just walk around the old fashioned way. It’s going to be a long day today. Usually we’ve been going to bed at like 6pm, and today Casey works until 8:30, so I’ll be tired as hell by the time he is off work. I am jetlagged! Remember? I thought I was over it, but then I woke up at fucking midnight last night and it’s been a wrap since.
The guy next to me keeps clearing his throat. Makes me wonder if he has throat cancer. I mean it’s a lot. Five times a minutes at least, if not more. It’s a constant motion. MMMMthinking about buying a scone. I bought a coffee, and I was thinking I’d get a scone when I refilled my coffee, and it’s like…am I really gonna refill my coffee? That’s a heavy move. Okay tho, so I gotta get on this finding a job thing. Idk what my move is going to be, but I gotta bust some kind of move. I wish I could make money sitting here and writing. Interestingly enough about that, I have made a decision. Did I already write about it? I am going to switch over to the Spark Twain platform. I write comedy, and I smoke weed, that’s what I do. I am thinking about switching this blog over to that name, and continuing it under that name. What do you think? I think it would be a big move, but it might be doable. Iit might be profitable. I can write about all sorts of stuff on sparktwain.com, which isn’t even a real site yet. and see this all depends on if I can get some money rolling in [to pay for hosting and whatnot], but instead of questing for a job I am sitting here writing this! Kalen is at work, Casey is on his way to work, and here I sit. I am stuck, but I need to get unstuck. I am going to have to cut my beard and walk into some restaurants, end of story. Okay. I’m gonna refill my coffee and grab a scone. I’m so addicted to sugar yall…it’s all I think about.
There was no blueberry, I had to get the lowfat berry peach scone. No problem, I don’t mind these guys [low-fat berry peace scones]. What’s the big story i, I only have $12 left in my wallet, and I had $100 two days ago. Way to live frugal, Chris! I suck at being broke, which is odd because it’s all I’ve ever been. I am going to sell some stocks, and move some money, and backup some photos on my phone right now…I feel like I smell like poop, but idk. Maybe it’s my shoe? I hope it’s in my head lol, but it’s forsure not. Sometimes in SF it just smells like poop, lowkey.
Okay, stocks are sold! Now…I need to find a job lol. It’s kind of a wrap on walking around [to look for jobs] today since I am in sweatpants, but that’s okay. I need to spend some time to edit all my writing anyhow. Maybe make a date with the library. I actually have plenty of time today, Kalen doesn’t get off work until 14:30, and if I leave here where am I going to go? I finished my scone too tho…and I am already thinking about scone number two. It’s no good. I am weak! I am supposed to have discipline and be fighting my way to the top! but instead I smoke weed and get sconed, a lot. Eh. These are the days of our lives, and this is the situation I’m in. If I am not getting a job, I need to at least be doing something…so I am writing, but I should really be editing. Maybe I don’t like the dream life as much as I thought. I mean don’t get me wrong! I love it. The ‘coming to cafe’s to do work’ thing is great, and I totally get down with it, but idkkk, if I was loving it wouldn’t that mean I just jump right into working? No problems with the editing, I would always get it done. Instead I am running into problems. I should forreal, no excuses, finish editing my articles from Saigon.
No joke, oml fam I have sunburn on my nose right now. No way is the sun more intense in San Francisco than in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam…I hope it’s not something else wrong with my nose. Maybe it’s dry? It’s hella dry here, that’s one thing that I am not down with, but I live and deal with it. I am thinking about going outside and smoking a bowl. Head out, smoke a bowl, then come back in and edit? Sounds boring. First of all, I have some sleepy time weed. This stuff that Kalen got totally just puts me right to sleep. I was smoking a lot in Vietnam, but it was always the food and never the weed that really put me to sleep, but as soon as I got back and started smoking on this stuff, I remembered this strong ass weed can knock your ass right out. I’ve been smoking all morning. If I walk out there right now and smoke, what am I sentencing myself too? I need a place to rest my head. It’s a hard life without a place to rest my head, that’s forsure. Okay. I’m off to smokeeeee.
* * *
Wowza. So the time is 18:35 and I am at Happy Donuts for the second time today. I just caught the 12 here because my trip past Bob’s Donuts resulted in a low stock observation along with a pretty full restaurant. I decided coming back to North Beach would be best. Something I did today, that I am very proud of, is edit and post my 20+ page article from Saigon. It’s live! Although…this isn’t, so it doesn’t really help you lol. The lady working gave me regular glazed instead of maple glazed, and I still enjoy it, but you know…it’s not what I asked for, otherwise my day is going pretty well. I went to the library with Kalen and finally applied for one job. The first one I have applied for in the city. I think I am going to just have to chop off the beard; I am being too slow with it. Chop it off and walk into some restaurants. I will end up with something. Did I tell you about the gig to make boba tea? I could do that shit. Easy peasy. Almost too easy.
Everything feels like a waste of time, but nothing is. Everything is worthwhile. It’s so hard to work one day at a time, because each small task is worth so little, and it’s sometimes hard to stay motivated. I cannot let my mind fall into the above loop. No matter what job I get in the city, I need to remember that it is going to pay off 10 fold if I use my knowledge correctly. Right now I feel kind of stuck, I can’t lie about it. Impossible. I am consuming so much sugar right now, it’s changing my state of mind. No good. I definitely need a place to call my own…and a steady job.
Casey gets off at 20:30, I am so fucked. I am full, and I’m tired and shit. My time is still all backwards. Idk what the next move for me is. I guess tomorrow I put on the nice clothes and go around? Most of my clothes smell, and none of them are very nice anyhow. Man. I can’t believe I fucked things up with the Green Tortoise. I bet they need front desk people, and I live next door, and I can’t work there. It’s lame. I don’t think I’ll find a gig at another hostel in the city. Am I really trying though? Not so hard. I just killed two glazed old fashioned donuts with a ton of glaze. I do…not feel great, but I am moving forward! I am quite tired, and desire a bed. Alas, I have but a floormat, and no blanket. The blanket is the part I’m really missing out on. If I had a blanket I bet I would be much more comfortable. I am very tired. I want to lay down and rest lol, but I have at least an hour and a half. I doubt Casey will want to go straight back. One thing about writing, it’s a fairly boring task. Like, when you are falling asleep, the idea of editing 10 pages just sounds impossible. How do I kill an hour and a half? I am supposed to be treating my body right, so in return I feel healthy and energetic, ready to tackle the many tasks that lay ahead. Instead I ate two donuts…I’m thinking about a third. I can’t believe I really said that.
I wish it was acceptable to fall asleep in public lol. Sometimes is it, but a donut shop is not one of the places. Yeah I’m all fucked up. My socks are dirty, and all my clothes. So I need to do some laundry but I am going to have to set aside hella time for that endeavor. Ugg. So tired!! I can’t stay awake. Idk what to do. If it was hella warm I’d go lay in a park, but it’s like the opposite of that. Its hella chilly out. I think I might eat a muffin, even though it’s going to be the death of me.
I did it. I bought a fucking muffin. Now I am all the way out of money! Nothing to bitch about now. I spent $100 in 4 days. That’s not impressive, but I bet Kalen could have made that shit last two weeks. I gotta admit, today didn’t go as I wanted it to go with the jobs. It started early, but then Casey and I just walked around soma all morning. It was a damned fun time, don’t get me wrong, but it wasn’t what I was supposed to be doing.
I think donuts shops make all their stuff out of powdered sugar and it saves on costs that would be occurred by using different kinds of sugar. That’s heavy. I am consuming a lot of sugar right now, that’s all that I know. Just plowing through this muffin, it’s ugly. I got it bad for sugar, I gotta get off the hook. When I quit sugar, it’s gonna be a big thing. Right now I need to get healthy though, so maybe no time like the present, huh? Ugh. I just feel like a poo. A poo that shall not pass. I just want to settle into a big warm bed, and I can’t. It’s weird the kind of things you can attach to in life. I am very attached to bed and showers. and sugar…
Omg I finished another muffin now. All my money is gone. I mostly used the money to consume sugar. I just can’t get over how much I feel like crap, compared with how much I knew I was going to feel like crap. I am brainstorming of places I can go lay down, but the city it so cold. I got nothing. It’s an hour until Casey gets out of work. That’s a while. I haven’t even been at this donut shop a whole hour. Today was supposed to be the day you guys! I fucked it up lol. Reset. Time to start over again. I don’t have the patience, that’s the problem. Nothing major is happening, I am just waiting for Casey to get off work, and I am just going so ham with it. I simply need to wait, and I guess idk how to do that. Now I am so full of donut and muffin that I feel sick, and on top of that I am hella tired. 50 minutes until Casey is off of work. What do I do? I could walk to meet him at work. That’s what I am going to happen. It’s like fuckkk man. Why I gotta go eating all this damn food. Now I gotta hit the atm in the morning, grab my last $20, and then hit the road and try again tomorrow. Peace until then.
* * *
I am at Peet’s Coffee, and I am having a really great experience. I mean the dude really made me feel 100 secure in my decision to come here. He was double checking what kind of coffee I wanted, and he asked me which specific scone I would prefer to have. Oh my, folks usually don’t take the time. I feel good about it. Maybe I will come back to Peet’s on the regular. I have gone to a few Peet’s, particularly the one in the Marina, but today things are going particularly well. I’m over on Cole and Carl just south of Haight. Casey has been suggesting for a couple of days that I come out here and look for a job, so today I took his advice. I rode the 6 all the way from the first stop in front of the ferry building, got off on Masonic and Haight, and then I walked over here. I walked through the Haight, but some of the places were closed, and I only saw one place with a “now hiring” sign. I am going to putz around on Craigslist for a little while whilst I eat this scone and drink this coffee, and then I’ll head back over there with a fresh look, at like 14:00, that’s the perfect time to interrupt service and ask for a job lol.
My stomach hurts a little bit. I really fucked up yesterday getting all sconed [I call eating too much of any pastry “getting sconed” now,] and then meeting up with Casey and eating way more. I am gluttonous! Let’s see, yesterday I ate a sandwich in the morning that I got from Casey [I forgot the sandwich today and it really sucks,] then I went to USCH and I ate a scone there, forsure. I had also had a doppio espresso and two coffee’s by this point. I ate a muffin, then met up with Kalen and ate some peanuts, then I went back to Happy Donuts and ate 2 donuts and a muffin, then I met up with Casey and ate a sandwich that I dipped in guacamole, as well as some potato salad. It was lit; all really bad food too, health wise, because it was a caprese sandwich, and that’s like all cheese. So I fell asleep after that, and I actually woke up at 07:00 today when Casey left the house, and that’s good! It means my jetlag is finally gone! I really think that. Now though, I have this fucking sugar addiction I gotta kick [food and sugar addiction]. I am eating a scone as we speak, spent $3 of my last $20 on this scone. Slick move, I know.
Do I really want to work in the Haight? The real question is: will I sell more writing as Spark Twain if I have a beard? I don’t see why a beard wouldn’t be better for my image. So that means I gotta work in the Haight or something, because I can’t get a job at a restaurant looking like this! I look like Grizzly Adams and shit. I thought about getting a job at a dispensary, that would be a good move for me. You know what though? I am finished with my scone…and I am already thinking about the second one lol. But I am going to hit CL now and look for that good Tech Kitchen job lol. When Kalen gets off work in an hour and twenty-three minutes I will probably go chill with him. So…peace for now! Might write more before I leave Peet’s, who knows.
* * *
I just bought a donut I only slightly wanted and then paid .50 cents extra for a larger coffee I didn’t really need! Vibes are on point though, what can I say? I’m spending too much money. I’ve spent $14 today. That’s crazy! because I am practically a homeless person [this isn’t true, and in fact Casey was insulted when I told him something close to this. He is housing me, and so I am the furthest thing from homeless, I am sheltered.] This was supposed to be one of those stories where a man lands in a city with no money in his pocket, and goes on swiftly to build his fortune and empire, and ‘swift’ is a relative term. but I am not living frugally enough to grow into any sort of baron! What is next for me? I applied for a couple of jobs online today, and so far no response, but I feel good. There was lots of jobs available through Craigslist, so I will go back on there tomorrow and eventually I will find my golden goose.
Before I started writing this evening I edited five pages of another article. I should be publishing it tomorrow morning. Eventually I will have to wrap this article and edit it and post it. The longer it gets the more I will put off the editing process lol. Anyway. I applied for four jobs today! Woohoo! One of them is a tech kitchen! Isn’t that just what the doctor ordered?!? and then I applied for a job as a ticket-taker at this place called Biscuits and Blues. If I got both jobs? Holy shit, I’d be so tired all the time, but I’d be so rich! and I think I would actually enjoy my life while that was going on. I kind of don’t feel that scenario playing out in my head however. Can I see myself working two jobs, 70 hours a week? EHHHH KINNNA. I mean I really want to. It would be amazing for my future to just buckle down and work two jobs all summer. In October I could go down to working normal hours [hopefully at the tech kitchen], and I would have some money I would be sitting on to jumpstart my saving more. It would be the move to end all moves. I could probably save 10k by September if I buckled down on two jobs. I might not do much writing during that time, but damn, am I not a writer at this point? Any periods of inactivity will just add to my mystique. Mmm. Brain flows.
Casey gets off work in 40 minutes. I hope he has some dank food with him, and I am sure he will. He works at noon again tomorrow, so maybe the same plan for the morning. Cool. I like chillin in the morning. We will wake up early and go to a Starbucks; good shit. If I wanted, I could walk over and meet Casey. If fact, if I end up with nothing else to do, that will be the thing I end up doing. Okay, I am doing the thing again where I am looking at people as they are walking past me in the window. Nothing more satisfying than looking at a girls butt as she walks past and you’re doing your sexy writer thing in the window. I’m kidding mother fuckers. The point is I didn’t miss a beat on that; I typed it all perfectly. I have good typing skills now! That’s unbelievable. I thought it would never happen. I remember I used to dream of this day, and tell myself if I just keep typing and typing, eventually I will be a master of the keyboard! and although I wouldn’t call myself a master yet, I am close. Definitely on my way.
The sun is setting in San Francisco. I am at Happy Donuts [it’s called something different on Google Maps, Casey had to remind me this is Happy Donuts] and the time is 19:57. I have a large cup of coffee sitting in front of me. I ate an apple fritter while I was editing those 5 pages before, and then I ate a cake donut with maple glaze and cashew bits with my coffee. The coffee, I am still drinking it. I certainly didn’t need a large, and in fact it’s probably not good for me, but shiiit. Here we are. I have a large, and I’m drinking it. I wonder what kind of mood Casey is going to be in when he gets off. I told myself I was going to finish editing that other article before I left this building, that way I am keeping up with productivity, you know? I should totally do that. Maybe I’ll do it right now. Okay. Might be back before I hit the road, we shall see.
* * *
I should always start with the time and date. Maybe this will be the last time I don’t. I always introduce it at some point, and in fact for a while I kind of thought that was my thing, but I am now thinking it would be beneficial to make the time and date the absolute first thing on every blog post. There is a catch though, because I am thinking of switching formats. Spark-fucking-Twain. Spark Twain bruh. I think that’s the move’s move. That’s the move’s move’s move that everyone copies and then it just becomes the move again. Spizzle Twiz. Sprazzle Dazzle. ST. Kalen and Casey feel it, and that’s the only confirmation I need. It accordance with this, I also want to switch formats with the writing itself. Maybe switch to fictional stories? Am I dare saying this…I am thinking of making hoz obsolete? With 150 posts under its belt maybe I would say goodbye. I guess I would keep the website, just update the security and what not, and just keep it how it is…forever. I could link to it from the new blog, and then I also wouldn’t be importing all my old writing into my new site. I will just host it perpetually, but I won’t make changes. Right? I think that might be how it goes. Why wouldn’t I just switch over to writing with Spark Twain full time? I guess if I want it to be a story only format that might provide a problem if I just feel like doing this type of writing, but I think there will be both a “rambling blog” and a “fictional stories” section where I am going…because I am going to build it. Everybody is going to cum.
You know; I heard when you tell people what you want to do/plan to do, like you tell them your dreams, it actually activates the same part of your brain that accomplishing the task activates, so it gives you a light satisfaction, maybe 10% of what you would feel if/when you actually completed the project. Ew! That means just rambling onto you guys about all my plans and shit…am I getting off from it? Is that what I just explained? No, I’m jk. I know it aint that. but I talk and talk and talk, and you know how much of this shit I actually get done? None. All these people around me, walking in and out of this coffee shop [I haven’t even talked about the coffee shop yet!] are getting way more money and doing way more complicated jobs than I will ever do. How though, can I dream to catch them if I never act on my ideas? Well I’ll tell you! I just write and write and write and write annnnnnnn
Just took my first sip of the coffee and it is pretty good! I am at a new coffee shop today. I looked up coffee shops, and I saw a Coffee Roastery over on Battery. First of all, I don’t know how I had missed this…I may have seen it and just forgot, because I do that type of shit. Second of all, the name of Union Street Coffee House, the place I normally go to get coffee, it’s really Union Street Coffee Roastery. oml I have just been calling it by a different name because I’m a bastard; and there are a bunch of Coffee Roastery’s in the city, I know of a third one on Chestnut to the west. So wu-wu I came over to this spot, and I asked the guy at the counter if this is the same business as the one on Union Street, and he said no. He said they used to all be the same owner, but there was a split and now they are all different companies. Damnnn. So the dream was just a dream after all. I think I like it better that they are all different companies. This one over here on Battery that I’m at has different baked goods than the one on Union. No scones…but they have these phattymagoomuffins I would hop on if I wasn’t the brokest pos in the world right now. I kid; I’ve seen broker folk on my walk over…I have pictures actually, of these three people sleeping on the Kearny steps. I have been taking a lot of photos since I got back, and I feel pretty good about it.
The time is 08:16 in San Francisco, and I am at BSCR…Battery Street Coffee Roastery. Is that right? So now USCH is the og because I actually call it something different. Hmm. I can get down. and there’s a CSCR also. Okay okay. I can get behind that. Okay. I have been talking to Kalen, I think we are really going to pull through on the motivation to film YT videos, and I think we are going to smoke weed in every park in SF. Isn’t that the move? I can also use this opportunity to promote my new moniker: ST. I need a job, obviously, and asap. I need to move my site over to a new host, while also hosting my second…and possibly my third site. I need a host that can do all that for me, I am thinking SiteGround. Then I get down filming with Kalen and Casey, and we just keep smoking until we get a section of the parks done, and then we edit and post it. So we [collectively Kalen and I, as I don’t think Casey is much good in his state rn] need to learn to video edit, do some graphic design, sell t-shirts, and we need to learn about managing websites.
I was just looking at my Google Guide acct, and my want for a 360 camera was renewed. I could take so many photos and post them to Google…that would be insane. Every photo I have on Google has my website in the caption too. It’s the lit’ist way to advertise. I am realizing there are a lot of words in my vernacular that don’t a standard spelling [as far as I am aware], and thusly I have fashioned some spellings myself. ‘Wu-wu’I am pretty proud of. Have you heard anyone say that? It’s the same thing as yada-yada. This dude was using it when I was in jail, and it really stuck with me. I forget the guys name. He was from Waukesha and had braids; a rapper. Black, and at least a head shorter than me, but could still probably kick my ass, he was pretty buff. He was talking about filming a music video when I was in there with him. Hella cool dude; it’s a shame, but I probably won’t see him again. Hmm. I wonder about Dave. I wonder if I will ever see Dave again. Have I told you about Dave? I know I have told you about him at least once. He is the guy who stole an Amish person’s Identity after he broke out of prison for selling acid, and went on the run for five years, only to get caught when he stole his bosses truck, and when he finally did get caught he didn’t even get in trouble for being anyone but himself. They didn’t even realize he stole someone else’s identity. Dave was a crazy guy, and he told me a bunch of crazy stories. I have him on fb, and I really do wonder if I’ll ever see him again. He would love San Francisco, but I don’t think he will be making it out here. Ever.
Adjusting to things anew happens so…smooth. Life smoothes that shit out flat. It took me a second to comprehend that Dave is a Milwaukee gent, and I am out here in San Francisco and I am so used to San Francisco gent’s, and it’s like…I had to really think about his stories from the Milwaukee perspective for a second to comprehend things properly. When I heard the stories years ago, I only had the Milwaukee perspective, but now I have several perspectives. I have the mke, the sea, the sfo, the sgn, the ccu, and I like to think I have the sat also. Do you understand what I did right there? I feel like I almost never…have I ever spelt it out for you guys? Spelt anything out? No? I think not, so I am not starting today. I will leave it as it is. Oh man oh manohman. My plan today is to finish editing my final Saigon article, then edit my Hong Kong article, and post them one; later the other, on my blog, and I am going to wrap this article up today, and if I can edit this one and get it out I need to do that as well, but I just sit here making it longer af. In the midst of all this, I still need to open up CL and look for some jobs. I applied for a couple yesterday, and I will apply for a couple more today. I found a scissors at Casey’s house so that’s good, I can use those to help tame my beard. I might need to buy a trimmer…idk. I am going to need to borrow some doe from someone, I think. I was all set up last time, but now I like…need stuff. I haven’t needed shit in a long time; I’ve been sailing; time to hit the harbor, and cross the land over to the other ocean, upon which I will sail into eternity…and beyond. Ugh. What am I even saying. Maybe I should hit up Casey lol, he might be awake by now. Head out, smoke a little. You know! Procrastinate before I really get to job hunting online. UGGHGHGGHH.
It turns out I finished editing the final Saigon article last night, which I have named “The Saigoneer! 4/7/19-4/10/19,” and so I just got straight to posting it. The internet is weak here, so I didn’t mess with adding pictures to the article. Then I jumped straight into editing my Hong Kong article, finished that, and posted it! Boom! Productivity! lol. if you can call this, that. I messaged Casey but he hasn’t gotten back to me. The time is 09:20. Still very early. Haven’t applied for any jobs yet! That might be a big thing I am missing, but other than that I am feeling good. Oh, but I intend to wrap up this article right now. Let me tell you I’ve been putting the “* * *” to represent a large break in time, and thusly I needed something to represent a small break in time, so I have started using the “||” to show a short break in time. I am not sure how I feel about it yet…I might tweak it a little bit, but I will get there. I learned through the two weeks I did in the free Appacademy program that || is a programming symbol that means “or;” like this or that. Pretty simple command, and I find it interesting how often I think of implementing some of the basic things I learned in that two weeks of coding classes, into my writing. I will probably do a little more with that class sooner or later, but I am not going to finish it, I don’t think. I hope you don’t see me just for my faults, one of which is that I wimp out and never finish anything. Coding however, I really do think it to be out of my league. That’s okay though, I’ll just stick in my own lane, which involves a lottt of writing. Random, sometimes educational or beneficial writing. I aim to be more educational with every [stroke/strike] of my [pen/keyboard].
Okay. I am sitting here thinking of all the things I need to get done, and I realize I can safely hit the road without feeling like I have no purpose. I gotta call Capitol One, and I probably should try and borrow some doe from my G, or at least from my Dad. I gotta apply for some jobs too, and I’ll probably settle into someplace later today and get down with that. So! Call Cap1 and call G, and then…just see where the day takes us. But that’s it for this post, which is 16 pages long according to MS Word [which I am not proud that I use. I prefer Google Docs] and almost 12k words. Gonna edit this; oh! I am going to edit this today too [lies], so that’s another thing I can keep busy with. Then onto a new post. Not ST yet, but I am beginning the move; mentally beginning the move. So, Peace! Until soon! ya filthy cannibals.
* * *
A Note from the future:
You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through,
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