Have you ever read the poem about the Purple Cow? I am eating the Purple Bowl right now. Plus I smoked a bowl of purp for breakfast. The time is 03:42 and I am writing to you from mbsb. I feel beautiful today! Earlier I was thinking all sorts of things I was going to write. When you walk into a room do you get the feeling that everyone is looking at you? I don’t always get that feeling, but when I do, I usually don’t handle the situation with confidence. However there may be adjustments happening in my subconscious, as I am growing to embrace the phenomenon. I am going to sell these people things.

The time is 03:55. I took a little break and spent some time playing around on my phone. I am going to get hella stars from the Starbucks app. I spend about $8 everyday. Pretty soon I’ll be getting a free espresso every time. I can probably use the app abroad too, so if I am traveling in India I won’t have to suffer the crazy prices. Starbucks is the same price in India, but when everything else is cheaper It’s like…whoa. It’s a crazy thing. I still wonder how much those people make.

So I was laying in my bed last night, just thinking about stuff, and I came to the conclusion that I would very much enjoy falling in love with someone beautiful. “Don’t we all want to love someone beautiful?” That was the thought that crossed my mind. I just got out of two long relationships. It’s actually quite fitting for the blog, because before I met Danae I was single for years and years. I just did drugs and drank all the time, and the few friends I did have scattered away from me. I have always been too intense, wielding both good and bad intentions. Since I have started writing this blog however, I have occurred two significant relationships, and it’s all available to read. My ig and yt are two testaments to my life before this blog. Have you ever seen those freestyle rap videos I recorded? Haha. The behind the scenes of that shit is crazy. Omg I have so many stories to tell, but it’s like…I might want some more security before I start telling yall about the prehistoric times. Small bits are available…we are close to the days. I see it now; sitting in Vietnam with a fat joint of that camtiva, sitting on My Khe beach rewriting the story of the first murderer I ever knew. I’d have to start with a light one, ya know?

I just texted my Mom. I said “I hope you’re having a good November. I’m at Starbucks getting some writing done before work.” I didn’t really know what to say, but I should text my mom every once and a while, right?

I can’t believe I drank coffee again today lol. I am really trying to be vigilant about my caffeine intake. Some days I can drink an espresso and be totally fine. Monday was fine! So I have been telling myself that maybe it’s only the sugar. The refined sugar, right? I mean I need to take care of myself in so many ways, I don’t see how it could possibly be one single act of maintenance or vigilance that helps me. Basically…I feel stuck, and I talk through my problems on this blog, and right now the problem is that it feels as if I am coming across all the hurdles at once. I need to exercise more, eat better, and develop consistency. I want a large living space. I want to be 10% more social, lol. I want more affluent friends. I want someone to love as much as I love myself. The time is 04:54 and I just finished editing this bad-boy. Now I am going into work. Peace!

Spark Twain

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