Did I tell you about this girl I sat next to on the bus this weekend? I don’t recall her getting on the bus, but I do remember the first time I saw her calves. She was wearing some skin tight Lulu’s and a grey New Balance. She doesn’t have to go to Starbucks for me to like her, especially if she rides Muni, and when you get on the back door with a body like that I’m going to sit down next to you. I have done this only a handful of times in my life. Maybe ten. Ten times I have sat down next to a girl on the bus and talked to her.


At first I was just hoping she would get off at the same stop as me, but too many times in my life have I watched a girl walk away, and for two days after thought “damn! I should’ve talked to that girl.” Eventually I realized there was nothing wrong with taking my only chance I’ll ever get to talk to this woman, and on the contrary everything felt right about it. I had already filmed a video that morning talking about how the pockets of my new raincoat filled with water when it rained the previous day. So I got up, switched seats so I was positioned to her left side. I bumped into her presumably large butt on the way down, and that was as good as things ever got for me. I said “How long have you had that jacket? I just bought mine, and when it rained last night the pockets filled with water.” 


The fact that I don’t remember what she said, makes me think I wasn’t approaching the situation right in the first place. Either way, she shut me down immediately. She answered my question politely, but continued to look away from me after initial eye contact [she looked toward the front of the bus at 45 degrees all ride, and I was seated to her other 45]. Several chinese ladies were staring at us. I said something neutral, that I thought was polite, like “Well, Thanks. Have a nice day.” Then I moved back to my original seat for 10 seconds before the bus stopped at Union Street and I made a split decision to get off the bus. Crossing the street in front of the bus, I pulled out my selfie stick and began to film. Video will be on the Spark Twain YT channel eventually.

Spark Twain

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