Happy Friday the 13th! I’m coming at you live from the Montgomery Block Starbucks. I named this location as such because it’s across the street from what was [among many things] the tallest building west of the Mississippi river [at the time of it’s construction]. That building was called The Montgomery Block, and so this is The Montgomery Block Starbucks Series, by Spark Twain. I abbreviate the name to MBSB. It’s kind of strange how  MBSB13 is aligning with this here friday the 13th, but nevertheless we move forward and chalk up the ironidactyl win. That’s the kind of irony you probably thought was extinct, but no longer. You’re Welcome. 


Today is the second time I have forgotten my keys. I was also late one day this week…I believe it was Wednesday. Having an off week, it would be. None the matter. I fuck round and catch a cold on these mf’s. I cold catch a fish and throw it back in the ocean and then jump in after it, make like a possessed mer-man, hunt that mf down, and eat it in the water how a shark does business. You want a piece of me? Nobo.

-Other Chris


I really did forget my keys though. So I messaged one of my newly promoted superiors informing them of the situation, and the fact is that I just have to show up late today. The fact that it’s the second time this week is a little meh. 


My keyboard just stopped working for a little bit. Situation was weird, but it was definitely user error. I’m sitting here thinking about stuff I don’t want to think about. The girl. Idk why. It’s about to be Christmas and I’m probably gonna spend that shit by myself, quite probably at a Starbucks. If they are open. I think they are open, at least some of them. 


Just got myself a dbl pour and three scones [the tiny ones]! I’m in for a helluva day now! Weewhoooo! I spent the first part of my morning chatting it up with one of the gents that attends MBSB in the mornings. He is here with more consistency than I. Christmas music is in full effect! and they have Elton on the radio! I do not know this song, but Elton John quickly became one of my favorite artists when I started listening to him back in like…2016? and so I will forever recognize him. It’s kind of strange, but I believe I type faster when I am not looking at the screen. Sometimes you might walk up on me and I am just typing away, lookin’ like Stevie Wonder and shit. Anyway. Big J, as we will call him, and myself, we talked about the homeless problem for a while. He tells me that things are the worst he has seen them in all his 20-something years here. [Everytime I think I am late for something, I am actually just on time.] San Francisco is one of the most expensive cities in the world, but once Kalen and I wipe the dirt off this peninsula folks are going to flock to it more than they do Singapore! Forty-Nine square miles of roads with no cars, and small businesses everywhere. Everyone isl making their money online, and you are only there to see the buildings which we occupy. Maybe, maybe you can catch a glimpse of the Woman herself. I’m looking for that girl


“Oh my husband? He stays home with the kids and god-forbid does he imbibe in the devils lettuce, but if he ain’t just a doll, Mary you just must meet him. Big charmer though, if you know what I mean [winking]. He’s going to try and take us both for a ride!”


My lady probably won’t tell her friends she married a loser by saying “he imbibes in the devils lettuce.” My girl…she is going to be way more chill than that. OKAY! The time is 05:21 on December 13th 2019 here at MBSB. I am supposed to be working soon! AHH! But my lack of keys gives me time to edit. 


Okay, all edited up! The time is 05:37. Time to zip to the office! Peace!


Spark Twain

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