US 41 and Trailwinds

I am writing to you from the Starbucks on US 41 and Trailwinds…ave? I am not going to look, but I am thinking it’s going to be an avenue type deal. I ordered a nitro cold brew with sweet cream today…and I don’t really know why, because I don’t feel like drinking it [in between writing this article, and now editing it, I asked them if they could exchange it and I got something else: almond flat white]. It turns out!!!!that Starbucks just replaced all the Clover systems in Cape Coral and Ft Myers with Nitro Cold Brew spouts! YUCK! I am under the impression that they have done this because the nitro is more profitable for them. I mean…clover takes a skilled worker, and nitro takes…anyone, it’s literally on fucking tap lol. I can’t actually believe I gave them $5 for this bullshit! I haven’t even tasted it, but I know it’s gross. Why did I buy it? It’s because I was talking to a cute girl, no doubt. I don’t exactly know why I continually do such stupid things, but the fact remains that I do. 


I feel better right now than I have for the past couple of days, and that is a good change. I was walking down the street earlier and it occured to me that: the only thing I want to do is smoke weed! AND I found out it’s still a fucking misdemenor in Florida! Despicable. When my computer arrives next week, I’m going to hit the road. It’s kind of laughable that I had enough money to go anywhere/do anything…and in the same fashion that I just ordered a $5 drink I don’t want, I spent all my money on useless shit that, in the end, I didn’t want and am not proud of purchasing. YUCK! So! But you know what?




I do not know how to make money on my own, otherwise I would be doing it. Obvi. I’m starting to get scared that I’m just going to be a failure and a loser forever! I don’t even care if you guys like me! So long as you read my blog. I’m not nice, but I am correct, and that’s enough. When I go to Nola I might consider getting a job as a cashier or something, if I can make tips. Really though, I just need to turn my blog profitable. That is the answer. Even just $100 dollars a god damn month! Something! Anything! It’s been too long. I’ve put in hundreds, if not thousands of hours on this blog. I don’t even have any merch! Even if people want to give me some pity money through the medium of purchasing my products, they can’t!; because I don’t have anything for them to purchase!


The time is 16:15, and I am talking myself into a bad mood. It will be 4:20 soon! Woo! I have elected not to purchase any CBD while I am here, because well, I think the CBD market is a bit of a ripoff right now. No way am I going to go into a store and find a healing product, I’m going to find a for-profit product. 




The time is now 16:20. Same Starbucks. I’ve started talking to myself a little bit, and I think it might have been weirding the people out. I still haven’t drank any of my Nitro Cold Brew. Is it possible that I am sick of Starbucks? I ordered a petite scone this morning that I still have with me, because it just doesn’t sound appetizing. I only bought it because, well, that’s what I always do. I pretty much only buy something at Starbucks because I feel obligated. But you know what? It’s killing my fucking wallet. I’m gonna end up paying $5 to sit here for…what? 30 minutes? an hour? No way I’m bout to spent 10 hours in here, and that’s the only way I can see this $5 drink being worth it. Ugh. I really don’t like Florida, or the people in it, and if you live here and you’re thinking “well it’s not my fault I was born here! I don’t like it either!” You should take your ass to San Francisco, get a job, and sleep outside next to Mtn Lake until you have enough money to afford security deposit and first month’s rent. This is the way!


One of two things is happening. Wayne is either about to start rapping…or I’m going to hear the original version of this. Okay, it’s the original. “Please don’t let me be misunderstood.” Ha! Am I misunderstood? While I was walking around taking 360 photos today, a couple of the store managers wrote my blog down…it’s a shame the last thing I wrote about was me masturbating lol. I’ve pretty much completely stopped watching porn, but I still masturbate sometimes. Thizz what it thizz. However…I need to get my downstairs checked out. My semen has been yellow for…months now, at first I thought it was just my diet. Plus my balls were hurting for about a year before this started. Now my balls don’t hurt, but my seamen is yellow! and the area where my pubes are, the skin has been changing colors for quite some time. I have a large redish spot. It doesn’t look too weird, it’s just a little darker than the rest of my skin. I thought it was just from overheating…but now I am starting to think that things are a bit too abnormal down there. 


WHAT IS LIFE! Sometimes it is unfair. I pray that nothing happens to my balls, because yall know how much I want kids. PLUS I’ve never been better at letting women seduce me! I have written so many times how my 30’s are going to be my golden years. What can I do? Make a fucking dr’s appt. Something I have been avoiding. I actually saw a doctor in Chinatown, but I felt weird having her look at my balls, because I knew I smelled like weed, and it didn’t really seem like she liked me very much. Now that I am having pains though [I was having them then too, just a different area]? Well, I shouldn’t have missed that opportunity. Sometimes my gooch is on fire. Right now feels a little like that. This is all…bad. Why I wouldn’t just get this stuff taken care of?!? I’m not sure. I feel like I need a teammate in life! The same reason I am not getting this taken care of, is the same reason I lament my father. No girl should pair up with me until I can take care of this kind of stuff on my own, and I shouldn’t have kids unless I can take care of myself either. 


I suppose I should edit some writing, right? Yeah. Talking about my balls is making me feel weird. I was going to get it taken care of down here [Florida], but the wait is over a month! [It’s snowbird season], and I’ll be in Nola by that time [if everything goes well]. So… perhaps I just get things looked at in Nola. Idk! Why didn’t I just ask the Chinese doctor! All I asked her about was the mark on my arm! but that was only half of what I was worried about at the time, and I knew it. Take it from me! Ask the doctor everything you want to ask them. Yeah…my gooch definitely burns. What does that mean? It means it’s time to edit lol.


Spark Twain

* * *

You can now support my work directly using Patreon or Venmo!
After writing for over three years, I have confidence my hardwork is showing through, and so I have no shame is giving my readers an option support my work. Thanks in advance!