The time is 16:54 on February 20th 2021, and I am writing to you from Botanical Brewing in Downtown Cape Coral. The vibe here is good. The vibe in Downtown Cape Coral is more what I’m used-to after hanging out in San Francisco, and stuff. On average, I think the old people of Florida are some of the youngest old people in the world. I wouldn’t have said that before I moved here.

I messaged Zac earlier to see if I can sleep at his house or not, but he didn’t answer me. Strange. I’m pretty sure he’s going to let me crash there, and so maybe he just didn’t think much of it and kind of brushed it off? Or he doesn’t want to tell me no. haha. Those are, pretty much, the two possible options!

Nate is in the back right now, learning to brew kava. The stuff that comes out of the taps is strong as fuck. I feel it as soon as I drink it ~ down in my stomach. It’s powerful! It’s a move! I mean, I’ve been drinking it for months, and I am positive that it’s better than booze. I’m going to get them to pay me to say that haha. Maybe not, but I believe I could do this company a lot of good by representing them in a responsible light ~ amidst the murky waters of our modern time.

 

So here I sit, and I am waiting for ____ to come pick me up, and then the whole fam [his assistant included] is going to drive down to Bonita. Zac said he’s going to be there at 18:30, which feels earlier than usual, but it’s all good! A lot depends on if I can stay at Zac’s house or not. If I have to catch a ride home, I’m probably going to get out of there early.

This place is the fancy place. There is pretty much always two kavatenders. Well…S might actually be the manager here, I forgot what she told me…but she’s seeming pretty managerial in her attitude.

 

My shoulder is not feeling great. The number one thing on my mind is still how am I going to make money. I’ve considered my ASMR website, because those numbers are really quite good, and I think it would be easy to pick that website back up. With a better plan, I have a lot of confidence that that website can make money, but the real question is: how dedicated can I be to that task? I need to set something up where I can jump start the action of making money. For instance, using the _______ platform to direct people to my Fiverr could be highly beneficial if people leave kick-ass reviews. Directing people to my ASMR website will be good, but I don’t think it will jumpstart better Google indexing for my blog posts. I’d still have to be bringing in 10k page views per month before I am making any money. I need 100k pageviews or more to be making anything decent. I know ____ rather enjoyed my idea of an ASMR dedicated website…and he’s talking about how he would build that whole thing. My problem is that I am a perfectionist. Paying someone will separate me from that perfection, I believe. I judge based upon what I believe I should receive for that particular amount of capital. I suppose it will be hard to test if I always buy the best. But you know what they say! If you’re going to test a variety of products, make sure to film it for YouTube so you can potentially profit off your time!

 

Wow! I feel amazing! It’s definitely assisted by the green kratom, but the real reason I’m feeling myself right now is because Dat just messaged me and said that he read my blog, and he liked it. I mean, why would he message me if he wasn’t intending to tell me he liked it, you know? But I’m just reiterating it for my own, then, I suppose. ~ Dat Phan ~ I asked him if I could use his real name, and he let me know his name is Dat Phan. Next time I see him I’m going to ask him if he is Vietnamese, and I think he is going to say yes. It wouldn’t surprise me if he told me he was Philapino or Cambodian, it would surprise me a little bit forreal if he told me he was Thai, and it would lead me to ask him an entirely different series of question if he told me he’s Chinese. There are definitely some cultural origins I am leaving out ~ starting with the other 46 countries in Asia. Maybe I’m biased because I’ve been living in San Francisco! But I feel like there were a lot of individuals living in SF that were from Vietnam, Philippines, and then specifically my friend Moony was from Cambodia. He survived the Cambodian genocide, have I ever told you about that? I’ve definitely told you about that…so much unpublished writing I have! It’s hard to remember what exists on this site, and what doesn’t. I also need to get a better system for backing up my writing, and then I need to start editing and publishing my old writing…or at least I need to figure out what I have published, and what I haven’t, and that will be good for my psyche.

 

* * *

* * *

 

The time is 23:04, and I am definitely going to stay at Zac’s tonight.

 

I spent most of the night hanging out with ____. I can’t lie, it has taken me awhile to allot myself the frequency to be his friend, but I am fucking loving it haha. He invited me to Puerto Rico today. That’s some next level shit. But you know what? I am chill with it. This is not how I thought the universe would deliver me a vacation, or the possibility of continued vacations, but holy shit if it doesn’t make sense. ____ treats me how I treat other people. I often times think that people are too cold towards the outside world. ____ is not cold towards the outside world. He is rather warm towards it.

 

The time is 23:30, and a young man just closed the door to Kava Culture in Bonita, so now we are all sat in here ~ Chillin and livin life. Oh! I forgot to even mention, D invited us inside, so now we are setup in here. Lots of thoughts running through my head. Sam is on the mic freestyling, and she’s kicking ass per usual. I’m hungry af tho. Sam is now singing Halo.

 

My nerves get to me ~ highly get to me. I should just feel 100%, but I don’t. Sam is butchering her own version of Halo right now, but it’s still beautiful. I don’t think she will be upset I consider this butchering ~ she knows what she is doing.

 

So anyway, I have a lot to say! And my mind is all over the place. I am thinking about ordering something else to drink.

 

* * *

I never did order another drink. The night got late, and I had probably had my fill of kava anyway. Now the time is 08:43 and I am writing to you from Zac’s house in San Carlos Park. This is a good spot. This is the room I want to move into haha. It would be nice to be able to bring a desk in here and stuff. There is no way I am going to be able to keep coming out to play with SCPM if I am not able to rent this room. Zac must know that ~ he is quite smart. Hmm. But maybe this is a blessing in disguise. There is definite opportunity in existence for me. As I work on my ASMR project.

Do you know how many people I’ve met, specifically business owners, and I’ve told them that they should attempt to break a world record for the sake of good publicity? Like ~ a metric shitton. AND NOW! I actually meet a man who came to that idea upon his own accord. It’s starting to sink in, my friendship with this man. Fuck everything inbetween us, the things that do or don’t exist ~ I am a cautious person. I know that I have had the power thrusted upon me whereas my words and actions are going to cause ____ to make large changes in the universe. I’ve made suggestions to hundreds of business owners over the course of my life, but none of them really believed in my insanity ~ to put it crudely ~ but now I meet ____, and this man is ready to take my advice. If I suggest some crazy idea, and he invests his company’s efforts into that idea, big things might happen. I am scared of the implications. I feel it. So much uncertainty with every move. I have to find a way to silence the uncertainty and maintain my focus upon the greater, and the good ~ what is bedrock, and what can be accounted upon, and what is a small risk, and what is just plain ole’ having fun.

 

Am I a basic bitch for writing about this is such a basic and blatant fashion? I’m really just a guy that’s stoned, doing some thinking and writing at 09:00 on a Saturday morning. But what’s actually happening is I’m growing as a person.

 

Luck is like a raindrop. The harder you work, the larger you make yourself, as to occupy more space and increase your chances of getting struck by the raindrop that is luck.

 

On top of this, I’m thinking heavily about my ASMR blog. Yesterday I proposed the simple idea of writing 5 ASMR Videos To Help With Anxiety. Will and AJ both thought it was an amazing idea.

 

Now, this is an idea I’ve thought time and time again. In fact, I have written at least one article that is similar to this in fashion. But you know what? It did really poorly on my website. Writing about it right now ~ it seems obvious that that’s because all of my other articles were different, and then I have only one article of this other type. In the future however, if I kind of…reformat? Not rebrand, but definitely evolve the brand ~ if I do that, and keep it that way ~ I guess…fuck, yeah. I think I will find great success.

 

Yesterday I told ____ I didn’t need help with monetization, but now I realize that that’s the one part I do need help with. I don’t have a problem bringing people in. I brought them in with some weird half asmr – half addiction recovery blog. Now, if I focus hardcore on ASMR, I’ll be sure to bring readers is. But monetizing them? 100 super fans are better than 100,000 quasi-fans. That is the switch I need to flip; that’s a switch that can be flipped, and I intend to flip it. Maybe that’s what I need to ask ____ to help me do ~ create a superfan.

*  *  *

The time is 17:01 on February 21st, 2021, and I am writing to you from Kava Culture in Fort Myers Beach. I ordered a medium green on tap, and I have yet to sip. I’ve been kicking it with ____ all day, and we are kick-ass when it comes to picking up ladies. It was our first day on the job, and we got a lot of information. I mean, like, phone numbers and stuff. Holy shit, but as I sit here, I am thinking it will be impossible for me to keep up with this blog! ____ has me so inspired to take back working on my ASMR website, that it almost seems foolish to sit here and write this blog, you know? I have a word document open behind this one, with a new asmrticle started…and I need to finish it, and I need to get it on the website. And so that is what I am going to be doing…even though I could keep writing this all day haha.

*          *          *

The time is 18:16 on February 22nd, and today was a bitchin ass day. I went down to Fort Myers Beach with ____.

 

Now the time is 18:57 and I am sat in the vault. Bill, Mooxie, and C are sat in here with me. Bill and I just had a long conversation, starting with Basquiat and ending with Tagore. We talked about Kerouac too. Bill is a cool dude. He’s studying HVAC…if I remember correctly.

 

NOW the time is 19:16, and I am writing to you from The Lodge in downtown Fort Myers. The bartender is busy at work; The server’s the same. Everyone working is wearing masks. The scene is odd, with everybody wearing masks. In fact, it’s crazy how normal things are, here in Florida. But you know what? It’s been like this the whole time! There was a little bit of time maybe, where people got shy…but it coincided with the holidays so hardcore that I think it was more just holiday absences, rather than shyness ~ haha ~ oh nooo!

 

Yooo ~ So I be doing mucho these days, and it’s hard to write about it all.

 

I’m drinking an arnold palmer made with pink lemonade. My father messaged me and told me he just parked out front. He is going to come in, and we are going…

*          *          *

The time is 23:24, and not that long ago, I woke up from a power nap. J. Cole just ended, and Sara Barellis has begun to play. Uncharted.

 

Omg, and then I got sucked into phone zone. It was a good thing though; I was talking to one of my closest friends.

 

Lawrence Ferlinghetti died yesterday. Poet Laureate of San Francisco, and the glory of North Beach is forever his, as much as anyone. The day the last beat died was February 23rd, 2021. Now it’s just me ~ hittin’ my younger brother.

 

The time is 01:24 in the morning, and I just ate almost a whole bag of Sunchips. I feels dumb about it. [feelz]

 

* * *

The time is 14:18 and I am writing this to you from in front of the Publix on Hancock Bridge Pkwy and Orange Grove in Cape Coral. Life is strange for me right now. I’ve decided that ____ and I are going to work together and produce music. We can do performances down at the beach. I mean that real rap shit. I found what I have been looking for, which is people that believe in me, and align with my goals. Become famous ~ have sex with as many people as possible.

 

At first, I was thinking we should work on the ASMR thing, and then ____ discussed how we could move forward with The Stoned Heretic, and I thought those were both good ideas. But now it has hit me; it has come full circle. I’m going to tell him to put me on as a rapper and that I won’t fucking disappoint. I’m going to record a bunch of songs this year, and we are going to host hella insane parties on Fort Myers Beach. Look out for it.

 

We should definitely consider a hostel down there, but that is a lot more work that I bargained for.

 

The bus comes in 20 minutes. This won’t be one of my last times taking the bus, but damn if I don’t intend to ride it less. Will is gonna put me the fuck on, no joke. This the one; Rap first. Rap while I am young. And then it’s onto the ASMR.

 

I’m nervous. I’m nervous about tonight, because I’m gonna rap, but I’m also just nervous in general, all the time haha. OH! But I did go to Cafe You this morning and I drank an espresso. Totally unnecessary, and totally because I was bored.

 

The time is 14:24 and even though I’ve still got like 15 minutes, I’m going to put my headphones back it, kick back, and in short order walk over to the bus stop. Peace out from Cape Coral!

 

* * 

The time is now 15:17 and I am writing to you from Kava Culture in Downtown Fort Myers. The whole gang is here! Dat is jammin the guitar, and ____ is playing the bass. I’m not sure I’ve written about him before, but he came out to Bonita one night and played a little…classical guitar ~ I recall.

 

It’s still wild that Ferlinghetti died yesterday…what a fucking life!

 

I’m perspiring from the possibilities. I know what I need to succeed. I know what I need. I have figured it out. The time is 15:21, and I think I’m going to…jam with the boys a bit? I’m not sure. Right now, I’m just drinking kava out of a shell, and I’m having a pretty good time of it. There is a girl here ~ she’s painting a kick-ass mural on the wall in the Vault here. Dat is really getting into it right now. It’s soulful.

 

There is another girl sitting on the otherside of the restaurant, and I know her and I know who she is, but the vibe is different today [and yesterday] than times in the past.

 

People love to tell me things, and I think it scares people what I might write. Or I’m tripping ~ who knows!

 

Zac is on the sax now, and he is killing that shit! Per Usual!

 

So, what does my night look like? Currently, as I said, I am at the kava bar in downtown, but then tonight I am going to go to the Kava Culture down by Fort Myers Beach for the open mic [I’m not sure if I’ll be riding with San Carlos Park or not, but we gonna find out!], and that starts at 20:00. Then later than that we are going to go to The Nauti Parrot, which is not that far down the road. Wub! That’s what tonight is going to be. I’m not sure what will happen afterwards.

Okay ~ we need to entitle this man! ~ Who tf is ____? ~ That’s what we need to figure out. How to say ____ ~ but in different and more words. Something that keeps up with Spark Twain…

 

The jam sesh is going hard right now. Zac is shredding it up. Jazz is kinna his thing, ya know? And he kills it on the sax.

 

Real talk, I just went and had myself a bad poop. Like 5/10 ~ I don’t want to say it was complete shit ~ but hey! I rate all my poops on a scale of 1-10. You don’t?

 

So tonight is gonna be a hell of a thing. I’m a lil sweaty right now. That’s how things be.

 

The time is now 16:08, and I just jammed along with the boys a bit at the kava bar. It’s Jazz Wednesdays, you know? And it’s not crazy lit in here or anything, but it’s pretty damn nice.

 

I just told Zac that I’m going to try and catch a ride with one of them down to fmb and he said maybe. This guy doesn’t know how gullible I am haha. And to offset my gullibility, I must maintain absolute confidence! I can’t believe that gullibility is a real work, I thought forsure I was about to make that up. Or…I already made it up and saved it to my dictionary. I always add the words to my dictionary ~ and then I never really know if I made them up for not!

 

The time is 16:23 and I just got off the phone with ____. HE is all over the place haha, but so am I! He said he’s going to Tennessee for a week, starting tomorrow. Sad news for me, I was just getting ready to get the put on! Easy does it though, right? He was talking about how we should make a set list and start playing music down by the beach. I think that that’s a crazy good move! But it’s not exactly the move I had in mind haha. And I guess…I am thinking about getting a growler! It’ll be like $45 for the initial investment right now, but isn’t that worth it? Plus then I just pull out the growler wherever I’m at. That’s the move! I guess I’m gonna do it. And then I’m gonna rap tonight. But damn if I don’t gotta figure out how to make the world work for me a little bit better.

 

Spending money is becoming a stressful thing for me. The answer is in front of me. I have to pull the answer. Right now I’m going to go buy a growler.

 

Well I picked up one of the growlers and holy shit are they ever heavy asf. So I’m going to have them fill my waterbottle! I think that’s the littyness ~ fr. Nico is the one working. He’s cool asf. I used to think he was a manager or something, but I no longer think that. The San Carlos Park Boys are doing their fucking thing! The jam sesh is getting pretty serious! I’m ready for tonight. I’m a little sweaty ~ I’m a little nervous ~ but I’m ready asf.

 

Playing it cool. I do that.

 

* * *

The time is 19:54 and I am writing to you from Kava Culture in Fort Myers Beach. The vibe is lively, and dead serious: the owner is in the building. The co-owner. There are two ladies that run the place. It’s a woman led organization. That’s pretty vibey; I like that, forsure. Nate’s friends just showed up, and idk who they are, and supposedly they don’t know who I am, but now they have walked out the door. The defacto is still playing music over the speakers, while SCPM has their own thing going. This is crazy right now’’^% haha. Its a vibe ~ like, I don’t think anyone is too bothered by it…but now that it was pointed out to me…I think I heard the switch [wrong]. I think I heard the other music turn off. It’s hard to tell. All this bass of the modern day melts together, and these old buildings boil the sound.

 

I’m not sure why the owner is here, but I don’t necessarily think it’s a good thing. OOMG THO WHAT I REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT IS THE BUGS and the parking. The bugs are fucking insane, but the parking is insane too.

 

 

 

I had N fill my water bottle with kava downtown. He filled it up to the 32, and I think that’s going to be a good move in the future. I got the 32 ounce Nalgene. Jules stepped up to the mic and asked if anyone wanted to do a bula…and everyone was silent. Nobody wants to do these things because they cost like $5. I just filled 32 ounces for $20. It’s normally $25 with kava, but it’s $5 cheaper on Wednesdays.

Everyone just started jamming, although the first two words of this sentence, I wrote with a different purpose. The time is 20:28, and I am sitting next to Kyle ~ Kpeso ~ on the couch at the beach kava. I have some kava left in my waterbottle, but I will soon be out. I’m not sure what the vibe is going to be tonight, but I definitely drank a lot of kava lol. Not an insane amount, but quite a bit. There is a dog walking around free in here, did I mention that? And I am quite hungry. Will said he’s got me on some food. Forreal, I need that shit. I’m stoney as they get. I kind of want to take another dab, but then I’m like whoa…u know? haha. Kave asf! I’m gonna rap in a bit. I’m gonna eat in a bit. I’m gonna go to wub with later on. It’s gonna be a fucking awesome night. Ready to get into it. The time is 20:33 and imma sign off, maybe get into the music.

 

The time is now 22:17 and I am sat behind the kava bar, and I think I might be getting eaten by bugs. It’s hard to tell the difference between fear and reality when it comes to noseums. Dani is talking to me right now and she knows that this is going to result in sales for her. She is talking about it right-right now. She has a community tab with a calendar, and she wants to add a directory with small businesses. She’s gonna include Spark Twain!

 

No Conflict Kev just took the mic. He said he wants to hear me rap because he has never head it live before, but I am thinking I am going to have to disappoint him, because I am going to hit up this spot with ____, __, and ____; The Nauti Parrot. This thing Wub is happening ~ I talked about it earlier. Duh.

 

It’s crazy how my writing evolves, and I know it does. Well, at least, I used to use the semi colon a lot, and now I’m using ~ that thing all the time. Will is jamming the guitar. I’m thinking about asking him if I can play it haha. Bandino.

 

* * *

___

Last night we went out for Abbey’s birthday. She is insanely beautiful, and I’m not confident I spelled her name correctly. I want to rub my face all over her body. 

 

I’ve been hanging out with ____ recently, and holy shit ~ could I tell yall a lot about ____. Actually, I could tell ____ a lot about himself. I’m the fucking GOAT bro ~ I am a king, and now I have met another king but holy shit this guy different than me. There are different types of kings. Let’s look it up and see what we get. Okay…I mean, what about the myers-briggs test? There aren’t that many answers, right? I could probably place ____.

Oh holy shit, never mind. I went to 16personalities.com and, well, I can’t choose between these 16 personalities right now. I’m high. The time is 06:26 upon the morn of February 25th. It’s Thursday. The birds just started chirping, I hear them now.

 

What do I do?

 

What do you do?

 

What do any of us do?

 

I say that I’m a stream of consciousness blogger, but the truth is ~ I hardly get it out!

 

Sometimes, I feel I do less than the average person. Meaning I don’t go out as much. Some people go out every night. I don’t do that. But recently I have been going out quite often, and I’ve felt pretty obligated to post more content about it, but I just haven’t posted the content! I’m a little shy to post my thoughts nowadays, I guess, because I know people might be reading.

Weirdo stuff.

 

Hanging out with this guy…idk how I feel about it. I definitely haven’t been myself around him yet. He’s an investigative type of person, and in fact, I’m thinking he read a lot of my writing and concluded upon me; which is of no matter to the substance of our story. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t ~ but I know that I consume people’s content so I am able to make better decisions about the possible depth of our compatibility.

 

As I said before, ____ is a king in his own right ~ He has inspired me to start calling myself a King. No matter where my friendship with this man goes, it would be fair to say that he gave me my crown.

 

You can only be given your crown by another king, and you won’t understand until it happens to you. This doesn’t mean shit, either.

 

I’ve always been a King, now I’m just woke to it. Now I’m woke to a lot of things. 2021 has been good to me. What will I mold of this clay the universe hath facion of me? The wheel keeps on turning, and I am drug to the sides. The wheel keeps on turning, and I’m on drugs ~ issa vibe!

 

Plant medicine though!!@#$% Did I mention I got my weed card the other day? I did tho, forreal. I went to the store once now too.

 

I am thinking about putting the computer away and just laying here for a bit. Meditating, if you will. I didn’t write most anything useful or juicy, which is quite a shame.

 

* * *

The time is 20:25, and I am writing to you from the Kava Culture Kava Bar in downtown Fort Myers. San Carlos Park is just Zac tonight. Dat and Ken are also here. And, of course, myself. Spark Twain in the house yall! Kalli is working the bar, and I am getting lifted on kava tonight. I started to get my waterbottle filled up as a growler, and that is definitely the move!

 

I’m pretty excited to rap. It’s still early, but honestly, I could rap all night. I’ve started to wonder if the guys don’t like that I’m encroaching on their frontmanship. But I don’t really care. I am the goat, and I gotta feel like the goat. Recently I haven’t been feeling like the goat ~ but I’ve always known inside, the truth, that I am the goat. haha. It’s been an ebb and flow situation recently. Is conceitedness healthy? I might have a little extra,,,, I can give away. The jam is really kicking here at Kava Culture.

Today I realized that I need a nectar collector. I could get a full-on dab rig, but the nectar collector is better because then I only need the one thing. It will always work out, the collector. Big parties or small gathering, the collector is the move. A man just sat next to me on the coach, and there is a tiny husky with him. I have seen them both before. This dog is not very scared of people. Ken is jamming the keys – I’ve described his music as the best elevator you’ve ever been on in your life and I still think that’s true. For the Retrograde I was recording all the sessions. I’ve stopped doing that about a week ago, maybe more.

 

The time is 20:34, and Dat just got his guitar working. The vibe is definitely not gangster, but I think I’m going to rap a little bit. Well…wait. I guess I should find a beat to put on.

 

The time is 23:30 exactly. I rapped for a little bit, and then Moses and Dat practiced their routine for a little bit, and now I’m sat here on the couch. I’ve been sat here for quite some time not writing, but now I am writing haha. Is there much to say? Not really.

Thursday’s are the most chill days. I need to figure out a way to record music in the morning, that’s what I need forreal. I come up here and rap, and that’s alright, but the real move would be to have recorded music. I need to record the music in the morning and then perform it in the evening. That’s the move! I think Ellie might still be here. If she is I feel like I should go talk to her. I am naturally quite attracted to her, and I like that, even though it’s a meaningless thing ahah. Well, it’s not meaningless, but it is so commonplace that it’s not rare, and what is common can commonly be less meaningful. Forreal.

 

Tomorrow night I might go to Port Charlotte. I guess at this point it’s pretty much a sure thing ~ why wouldn’t I go? Nate is going up that way and Zac is staying down here. Apparently, there is some guy up there who freestyle raps, Drew. I look forward to meeting him. They say he’s pretty good. Good thing this state is big enough for the two of us [and more, I don’t even need to check].

 

The time is 23:36 ~ just turned. They music is soft asf in here, and it’s quite good. I am going to put the computer away though, and then get out of here soon. Godspeed!

 

*          *          *

The time is 01:27…01:28 as I looked again! And I am writing this to you from my house. I don’t think I’m living right ~ but I don’t think I’m living wrong either.

 

What a wild ride 2021 has been! Ugh, and I’ve been thinking about this girl Abbey [whose name I might be spelling wrong consistently now], which is nice because I really enjoy thinking about her, but it’s also stressful because I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about a great many girls, and it’s starting to wear on me. I need the love of a good woman in my life. Actually, I’ve been working so hard to understand love, that I now think I can love more than one woman at a time [p.s. ~ a lot of people ask me about this part]. It was a complicated thing, but I feel I have gotten here. I want to start greeting women with a kiss on the forehead [but then when it really came time for this? I felt weird about it haha]. Is that weird? I mean ~ I want to start greeting most women like that. I can pretty much tell, as soon as I meet a girl, if she’s the type of girl who would be chill with a peck on the forehead. I’m sure of that ~ pretty sure, at least. I would occasionally have to deal with girls thinking I’m weird, or heroic boyfriends who think I’m busting a move. Which…I am busting a move, but I’m busting so many moves that it’s not something that almost any boyfriend is going to understand. Ya dig?

 

Girls Girls Girls. And money. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about ____, who is not a girl, but he is a man with a little bit of money. I have written quite a bit about him, but I don’t think I’ve posted any of it. I almost feel like I should hold it for ransom haha. All I have in this world is my fucking writing! I need to find a way to get paid for it. Should I tell you what I desire? I think that would just be my whining into the microphone, which is not something you want. Or I want!

 

Ugh ~ Ellie was at the Kava bar tonight too. She’s really something else. I have a strong desire to take care of her, because she’s a clumsy ass bitch who needs a lover that can save the day. If you ever meet her, you gotta ask her about the time she shredded herself going tubing. It’s a fucking wild story, and she’s a fucking wild lady. I can never figure out how to talk to her because I don’t think she will find anything I talk about interesting. We have different interests. I have tried to start conversations with her, but I just don’t have confidence with it. Speaking of Confidence though, she did turn me onto that band.

 

Men are so possessive. I used to be that way, but oml I have become anew. To love women in tandem is the only type of love I am ready to accept into my life. Relationships are relationships, and mine are evolved to be what makes me happy.

 

I need to evolve my life outside of my brain. My brain is good! I got the good brain, haha.

I am a king, and it is time to let the crown show.

Seriously! I feel it ~ I feel ready. It’s time to let the fucking crown show! Is it time for me to consolidate and review my writing? Haha ~ I feel like it might be that! The time is ~ wowza, it’s 01:00 on the dot! And I am standing in my garage writing this to you.

 

Rockstar lifestyle ~ might don’t make it ~ everyday writing, and I do it all baked kid. Demons from my past, ain’t really tryna shake em. Learn from my lessons, don’t stick, grease, bacon.

 

x. Spark Twain