KCBS March 9th

The time is 23:32 on March 9th, and it’s 2021 ~ for all of us. The day is nice. Not cold, that’s forsure. The doors are wide open. Delaney is making drinks, but she’s not having to bust her ass right now, and I’m sure she is enjoying that. Ellie and Daphne are giggling their fucking heads off on the couch. It’s always a good vibe in here. I considered setting up and DJ’ing here tonight, but I decided against that hours ago. It would be fun, you know, but I can’t picture if I was out there DJing right now. I am better to be doing what I am doing ~ writing ~ doing it here and right now. As it should be.

Who is Spark Twain? That’s something even eye don’t know the answer to. Does anybody know the answer to that one? I am not looking for the answer, and that’s what makes it even harder to find. The answer is something I will stumble upon. But as Chamath advised, I will make myself large and increase my changes of getting struck by luck. There is music playing on the speakers and it’s good but idk what it is. I am tempted to check. I’m in a good flow haha. I love getting into a good flow with writing. I can hardly remember sitting and writing in Seattle, and I have no idea if it felt like this or not. I definitely remember these flow states in SF.

Kava Bars…they are something else. These kava bars are a gift to the world, and especially in the world of recovery, I believe people should be treating them more as a gift, and paying more attention to the help they can really give. Fun Fact: I am writing to you from the first Kava Culture Kava Bar in history. The vibes here are powerful and good. It’s a safe place. It’s a beach vibes place, as I discussed with Ant earlier. This place is many things, but they are all embodied with this specific location. I’ve been to all the Kava Cultures except for the one in Tampa, and this one ~ the one in Bonita ~ is my favorite. Plus there is this sweet dog Rocco that comes in to hang from time to time. He brings his owner too.

For the first time in my life I have people asking my about my blog in real life! This is the dopeness! And what are they asking about? They are asking me about Ellie. One guy walked up to me and said You’re that weird guy who wrote about Ellie on his blog. Fuck yeah, that’s me. Haha. But! What’s to say about that? I’m rather excited to talk about it, although I don’t want to me. The people who ask me about my writing, it seems like they make a lot of assumptions. Or something like that. I’m not sure what people think, really, but I’m glad that you find my writing interested enough to read and share with your shitty friends. Or awesome friends ~ whatever you got. All my friends are awesome, but I used to call them shitty. I’m beyond trying to be more positive ~ I am more positive, bitch. How you livin?

It’s unfortunate I did not introduce you to Delaney before today, because she is quite a lady. We hit it off quite quickly, and I’ve had my ________________ all week. I made a valiant effort not to get involved with a relationship for such a long time, and I did pretty well, but it’s just how the fuck I am! Not saying that we are in a relationship, but I’m not going to sleep with anybody unless Delaney says it’s cool, at least until further notice. You know what I mean? Maybe you don’t. So many people don’t know what I mean. I tell people that I know everything, but that’s obviously not the truth, or my hindsight would be as good as my foresight.

Condensing my thoughts into edible literature is how I get paid the big bucks. I work to simplify my thoughts in the same way one would simplify a fraction. Am I successful? Someone younger than me will write that I am.

Love is my favorite thing to write about. It’s very difficult to talk about in real life, however. Learning how women work has been the best investment of time I’ve ever made. Forreal! All you gotta do is fucking listen, motherfucker. That’s as real as it gets. Women are freaks, too. Forreal. You need to tell your lover[s] what is on your mind.

Delaney told me that read my blog post too, and that she used to work with the other girl that I wrote about. So, she knows how I feel. And my feelings haven’t changed either, and I think she knows that! An attraction to another human being does not disappear so quickly, but it does evolve.

The love I have for myself is soft, but I am practicing to make it harder. Hard love prospers growth. This is something that is demonstrated consistently with parenting. Soft love makes for loving children, but how successful are they? Case and point would be me.

Yo. I really like kratom. This shit is a game changer, forsure. The price point at these kava bar’s is definitely a premium, and for individuals interested in addiction recovery I suggested that they should purchase their kava or kratom in bulk and then prepare it at home. But then again, I am to understand that the Kratom Consumer Protection Act doesn’t allow for me to say that Kratom can help people with addiction recovery? I’m not too sure. I better just start calling it Elixer.

Let’s count how many pages I have written this week. What do yall think? I’m betting that I wrote…15 pages. Probably more tho ~ let’s count.

OMG I got so fucking lost in my world of files and folders ~ the time is now 00:56 and still have no idea how many pages I’ve written haha. I tried to count, but then I started getting concerned if I was saving my writing in the proper place as stuff.

I fear I will never feel fully organized when it comes to my online files. Is that everyone?

I suppose I should get around to publishing this! Why not? I feel like I haven’t said anything that is really on my mind haha. Maybe! Maybe I have. Tbh Ellie was here the whole time I was writing this and it makes me feel weird. Probably not for the reason you think. BUT Delaney was definitely not giving her the time of day, and that was nice. It’s nice to have a bb standing up for me. Forreal.

I need to love myself in the hard way. It’s hard. And ironic. And how am I going to start? I’m going to stfu haha.

x. Spark Twain