According to the analytics, nobody read my website yesterday, for the first time in a long time. But, it’s always been sporadic. There is no assistance from Google when it comes to readership for me, and as much as I want to change that, I’m not sure it’s possible! I don’t write for the same reason that people read haha, and therein lies the…niche. It’s not a problem. I’m not even sure who my target audience is. I’d like to think it’s cute girls who like to read, but it might be young men looking for a wider berth by which to live. It might be both. I don’t think it will be people older than me.
I met a girl last night. She might be smarter than me, and I’m into that. She definitely probably works harder than me haha, given where she is at in life. She also has a kickass job. I met a lot of cool people last night, actually. I was at this place called Jeff’s House. It’s not a bar, but it damn well could be with a name like that. There was like…15-20 people there, I think? I brought kava and…YO I need a new fucking name for Kratom haha. People were asking me if it was a drug, and asking me how it would make them feel…and there were points where I felt like the questions were leading, and people wanted, or expected me to compare it to a different type of high. I don’t do that. How about trà hưng phấn? That’s the Vietnamese translation. HAhahahaha. I wish I was kidding. I love my Vietnamese friends! And damn if I wouldn’t welcome their tourism.
Yeah, last night was hella good. It’s all because this dude Ross I met at my work. He’s a kickass bluegrass musician and apparently his father is a champion banjo player. I want him to come work with me as trek down my path towards loving life. I already love life, but now I’m going to fall in love with life. I’m going to get married to life. We’re getting hitched. You are all invited to the wedding.
YOOO! I always think about the thing s that I want to write about but then I never actually ned up writing those things. I wasted to tell you that that girl I met ~ she is a fucking photographer! I’ve been wanting a photographer for a long time. All these beautiful women on Instagram have free photography dripping off them! Usually because men offer the service for free, am I wrong? Well now I’ve got a beautiful woman and she’s gonna take pictures of me me! Take that TNAA!
I’m gonna get way into it. I’ve already thought about it. I don’t have like, any photographs of myself. But I bet the ones this girls takes of me will end up being timeless and perhaps quite famous. For ST, 29 is young, even though I be feeling old sometimes. BUT I FEEL IT COMING! I’m bout to be doing quite well. I’m going to sell some hip-hop NFT’s…because somehow my shyness has ended me up in a position where the only place to get my music is on the cipher.media platform haha. So…that’s another thing I want to write, is a blog post about why my NFT’s are worth what they are worth. The answer is because I will continue to make art for the rest of my life, although, I at the end of everything I will probably have created a lot more writing than anything else. My goal is to produce books. In my 30’s and 40’s and beyond, I’m believing that my skills will have advanced to the point in which writing books will come naturally to me, just as writing these blog posts come naturally to me now.
The thing about the hip-hop nft’s, is that Cipher Media has taken a piece of the equation and solved it for me. I’ve written before ~ pretty sure ~ about how I’ve been looking for a producer. Spark Twain is somebody’s golden ticket! Forsure. And if that somebody is Cipher Media, then so be it! Good for them! They get 10% of all my first time sales, and then I get 10% of all resales. So…my goal is to create 1000 songs things year, even though that is more of an estimate than a goal. I just rap whenever I feel like it, because the tools are at my fingertips now. If I want to rap in the morning, or after work, I just fire up the Cipher Media app, plug in the Zoom H6 microphone, and slip on my Sony M3 headphones. The whole time I spend wishing I didn’t have this awful computer. Dell really let me down with this. I will never purchase another Del product for the rest of my life, and I can’t forsee why I would change my mind on that.
Okay, so, yeah, I rap when I want now. It’s the same way I’ve always done it! I have a couple of videos on YouTube of me rapping, both on the Spark Twain channel and also on this playlist. But I had recorded hundreds and hundreds of songs, and most of them were stored on my grandpa’s old laptop. I’m pretty sure all that music is lost now. I’ve lost thousands and thousands of songs in my life, and this is all due to drug addiction and alcoholism, coupled with a lifetime of disorganization and a weakness to seeking immediate satisfaction.
I am me, and that’s a beautiful thing. Like many of us, I spent a long time wishing I looked different, had a different upbringing, and I’ve wished my parents had made different choices so my prospects could have been different from the beginning. I’ve written about a lot of sad and sappy shit in my 20’s, and you know what? I’ve got one more year! Mmm. When I think about how I wished I had lived my 20’s versus how I did live them. I honestly wonder what I was even thinking? And honestly, I see a lot of the young people ~ my friends ~ these days living better lives than my generation, but this could also be because I haven’t been living in the midwest for years. This are different and a little more drab out there.
My goal has long been to make money. Anybody who knows me, knows this. I can’t get rid of that goal ~ it’s part of me. But as I wrote about yesterday…I need more goals. Better goals. I ended up actually getting money…and then I fucking froze…or did the wrong thing. I didn’t really freeze. Yeah, fuck a lifetime haha, I just wish I had managed my investment for ASMR.Community better. It was sad. I didn’t start a business, I just wrote a blog and lived my life. It really had nothing to do with business haha. So, anyway, that’s a lesson I really learned. Forsure. Something happened that I can’t let happened again. If I sell 30 ether worth of rap music in the next month, am I still going to open a kava bar? OR ~ if I end up generating $2000 per week selling kava and hưng phấn, will I keep rapping? Here’s is kind of an interesting observation. The answer to the latter is certainly yes. I’ve been rapping for 30 minutes per day for the last 10 years, almost exactly. I wrote raps and stuff prior to 19, but I didn’t really do much freestyling before then. But since I started freestyling, I’m in fucking love with it. There have been long stretches where I haven’t been able to rap everyday, like when I worked at the hostel. Even living with my father in Florida, the vibe was so different than what I am used to, I didn’t do much rapping. Only a little. I have some videos on my Instagram of my rapping at my Dad’s house, in the garage. What a fucking year…everything I did in 2020 helped to make me the man I am today, and I am proud as fuck of everything I’ve done. All my asmr blog posts, and the rap videos, and the blog posts of my just whining about how I can’t make money haha. I’m proud of EVERYTHING! Because at least I did that shit! You feel me? For those of you just chillin at home. You’re in a small town 2 hours outside of a midsized city, and you live in your grandparents basement…you are important, and you are loved. Now go do something that scares the shit out of you!
x. Spark Twain