july turned august 2021 sparktwaineth

July Turned August 2021

Lo-Fi Waiter is filling the air. I could definitely make kick-ass lo-fi music. Alas, I haven’t.

I smoked two cigarettes today, and now I’m thinking about smoking. Sad. I’m not going to buy cigs though. That’s just not in the cards for me.

Today was the second day I went to sell kava in front of Duke City Herbs. It was pretty good. I made a little bit of money. Not as much as I was hoping to make, but I made a little bit. I’m probably going to scrape enough together and pay 85% of my rent haha. That’s pretty good if you ask me. Not really though, because it will also leave me with no money and no supplies. I’m pretty fucked, in a lot of regards. I didn’t get the job with the dispensary ~ presumably they would have called me or something. They probably want someone younger, who has a real chance of hanging around. Let’s be honest, I’m kind of wishy-washy. Granted, if I had gotten the job…or get the job, because I suppose they could call me on Monday ~ they said they were going to contact me by Friday, but they are a dispensary. If I get that job, I could see myself working there for 2 years. I can also see myself working there for 6 months, in some sort of scenario where I quickly move onto having my own business. That’s what it is ~ the next job I get, I can’t quit until I turn my side hustle into my business.

There’s a lady I’ve just started working with recently. The owner of DCH. She’s cool…too cool. Not really though. At first I was thinking that maybe this relationship would end poorly for me, but the more I consider things, perhaps this is not true. She has two kids, and they are always in the building working with her. One of those kids told me that he thinks himself to drink too much; this is something that would be helped by having me around. Forsure. Recovery breeds recovery ~ in that sense.

I would be quite hurt, I suppose, if somehow I discovered there was a plan to pull a metaphorical rug out from under me. I already feel pretty alone in this world, and I don’t trust anybody. Most people don’t hurt my feelings, I guess. I hurt my own feelings, mostly. Haha. There’s nothing funny about that. But, seriously ~ I feel like I have no family. Luckily, I do, actually, because I know some people literally grow up without parents. I had parents, grandparents, and honestly I still have most of my relatives. That being said, no of us get together on holiday’s or plans events. Hmm, I guess that’s not true. There are a few members of my family that grill out at my grandpa’s house in Wisconsin on some holiday’s, forsure. My grandpa and cousin live together, and my cousin’s gf lives there also, so that’s 3 people and you don’t need many more to many a party. My cousin and I hardly ever got along, and I’m not sure why. It’s probably both of our faults, actually. When I was drinking, I was pretty mean to him. There’s nothing complicated however. We don’t have much in common or much to talk about, apparently.

It’s possible that I don’t have anything in common with most people. My daily life feels displaced, and where most people would alter course, I keep heading in the same direction, towards a target that I’m not even sure what it looks like. Wtf is a target anyway? Besides a good company to invest in, forsure.

Nothing you read on this blog can ever be considered financial advice. Fin.

I’ve been meeting new friends, and I’m not really sure what to tell them about my life. I’m not even really sure what to think about my life. This morning, despite what I wrote, I spent a small amount of time wondering if, perhaps, my ego is getting in the way of my progress. But at the same time, I think that’s a catch 22. What is progress? Where am I going, and how fast do I need to get there? I do believe that my ego, despite all of it’s bad qualities, gives other people motivation and hope in a typically cold world.

Can always tell when it’s a LoFi-Waiter track. This guy is Sauce Boss. I made a new playlist dedicated to good Lo-Fi Writing Music. It’s titled WAX WRX TYM. But I suppose I should change the name to Lo-Fi Writing Music, or perhaps just writing music, or spark twain’s writing soundtrack. That would be an interesting one. And then start to build up a playlist that is 20, or maybe 200 hours long? Haha. Yeah. Maybe in this lifetime.

I wish I was in India and could go grab some of that amazing Indian food. Nothing beats that. I’m hungry, but all I have is almond butter. I didn’t want to ask these dudes to give me a ride to the store earlier…idk why. I have problems communicating with people.

I forgot to get string from the beads store again today. Fuck.

The time is 09:35 on July 31st, 2021. I’m going to lay down and think about how I wish I wasn’t alone for a while, and probably fall asleep in the process. Tomorrow is Sunday, which means Church of Cipher! 4pm ABQ time! See You THERE!

The time is 08:44. My scone tastes…different. As if it was made with more sugar, perhaps. Haha. I’m not going to complain, I suppose. Or, I should say ~ this is not me complaining. Sugar mane…I’m addicted to that shit.

The last two days were pretty good! You see, this place Duke City Herbs is owned by a nice lady ~ and I think she is the sole owner. Can you imagine me working with a business partner that is a girl? How fucking awesome would that be. I learned a long time ago that I don’t have much in common with a lot of men. It’s not a bad thing, really, but it does make my aptitude and attitude different than most moguls and, in general, men who are involved in business. Working with DCH would be different, I can already tell. That being said, not much has happened yet. I’m not sure what she is planning, but, as I think that I wrote above [but will be proofreading before I publish], I am not ready to be cut out of anything. A lot of people might try and not cut you in, but what they are really doing is cutting you out and telling themselves something softer in their own head.

Everyone is wearing masks again. Did I miss a memo? I’m not sure how to feel. Is it weird that I feel it’s equally possible the virus is real vs conspiracy? Haha. I lived in Florida for a year, and I know hella people that got sick, but I don’t know anyone that died. I had something weird going on at the end of my time there, but honestly I think it was from drinking too much kr8m as well as, perhaps, something else. So, that being said, it’s like…I don’t feel this delta thing. I see people posting on Instagram about it, and I just went on the internet and looked up some of the number in my area. I’m not sure what to think. What if we didn’t have governments to tell us what to do? Would we all die? I feel like if we didn’t have governments, my life would have just gotten an upgrade haha. I don’t think that I can catch this thing 🤞 lowkey. I mean, let’s get real, I lived in Florida for the entirety of 2020, and nothing bad happened to me or anyone I know besides Tom who told me, at the onset on the panni in like March or April, that 10 of his close friends died. I was, and still am like whoa🤯! But that’s the worst I’ve heard. Otherwise I hear about people getting sick and staying in their houses…but that’s all I hear. And I hear things. I never watch the news these days, although last year there was a time where I would wake up everyday and listen to the news. I suppose I was kind of happy at that time, but I prefer the struggle out here rn, no doubt. Anyway ~ idk if it’s because I don’t have time to watch the news or because I am not interested, or perhaps it is just not my destiny…but I don’t watch it. Yo! I’m pretty sure this scone has too much salt, not sugar. Forreal. Something is up with this scone ~ that’s all I know.

The time is 08:58 upon the morning of August 1st, and I am writing to you from Ihatov Bread & Coffee, right off Route 66 in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Omg I just ate a large chunk of salt. This, right now, is me telling the people at the front counter. Except they might not find out for months or years, because, who really reads this blog? Some people will go back to see if I talked shit about them, or praised them, but most won’t. Plus ~ + ~ My tagging system is really bad. I should get better…I should write the tags down as I write the article so that way it’s…better…on all fronts.

Okay, I actually started doing it a little. But now I’ve forgotten what I wanted to write…writing about writing, probably. My scone is almost gone. I also bought a day-old fruit brioche. Let’s find out! Who knows how it well go. Maybe not the best for the Sunday Church of Cipher. This shit is hot. Cipher Media is going somewhere with what they are doing. I’ve sold several other tracks! Idk who bought them! But they sold! Now, it happens that they were the cheapest ones, but I had a really hard-hitting wave of passion that had me pouncing on track after track when I first discovered the Cipher app, and those are the most expensive tracks, forsure. Now, I’ll release music slowly and steadily ~ hopefully selling it soon after I mint it. Fishbrain is taking the route of minting 1 of 1’s. Me? I mint like 37 of something haha. I honestly believe that there will be hundreds of people ~ at least ~ who will bump my music, and so I have faith that having 37 of something, at least from a noob like me, will make those something’s more collectable than a 1 of 1’s. That being said, I did pickup a Fishbrain track, and I did think it was cool that it was a 1 of 1.

The cipher is at 16:00 today. What else do I need to get done before the cipher? Not much. I guess, mainly, I should be working on my kava plan. I’m going to prepare for the best case scenario, but at the same time, I don’t want to assume to much and put people in an awkward position where they are saying no to me ~ which isn’t even that big of a deal ~ the big deal would be if they went back on considerations they had made prior, simply because I had asked for too much. Ya dig?

There was a time in my life where my dream was to fly around the world and write from different places. Well Chris, that shit came true. How do you feel? How do you feel? You changed your name brodi, that’s what you did haha. I understand why you did it though. There is that other guy named Chris Buckley.

Yeah, word up. That’s one of the reasons I decided, and spent a long time deciding upon, a moniker. Now, again, I’m evolving it! I’m thinking to change my name to Spark Twain Eth//STE//sparktwain.eth. I’ve thought about talking to my friend Kinchasa and seeing if he owns st.eth ~ I know he own hella eth domains lol. I know the guy who owns sobercoin.eth. That’s a good pickup, I think. It’s crazy to me ~ all these things running on top of ether. Suddenly, Ether is as dangerous as a corporation…in theory, because actually we are relying on a computer program instead of a team of decision makers, which is the key difference.

Even in this moment, I am having problems settling ~ like cement ~ into any version of my futureself. This is not a problem, maybe. I mean, being open to new things and making an effort to do things that put me outside of my comfort zone are the reasons that I have gotten to where I have gotten//but then//does my ego get in the way? Seriously. I’m not happy with where I am at in life, however, I am happy with what I have accomplished up to this point. I’m even proud of what I accomplished with my ASMR blog, even though it’s clear that, at times, those blogs posts are just the ramblings of a crazy man ~ but nothing says a crazy man can positively impact the world.

9real. I think I like that one best. I mean, how much better can it get than nine real. Nine riel! I’m pretty sure that is, or was, a currency in Thailand. I’m not sure why I would know the name of an extinct form of currency from Thailand, but I know some weird shit sometimes. OH! Cambodia Riel. Of course//duh! && I never went to Cambodia. Ugh. I would love to go back to Asia. In fact, that was kind of my plan with the ASMR blog; build an income to take with me. Gosh Rick, if I had taken to learning programming more seriously, like, had actually practiced for 15+ minutes per day, everyday, since I had concluded that that is the most efficient path to generating income which I have seen in the modern world, which was back in 2018, and then in like January of 2019 I started to learn how Ruby works using appacademy.io, because I knew this guy who went to the in-person school in SF, and he really changed his life into something amazing using that program, and so, I had no doubt that if I stuck with it, it would bring me what I needed. Never stuck with it…Idk. Am I wrong? Instead, I have done….all the stuff I have done! and written all the stuff I have written! because of it. But, for those who are looking for the path of least resistance, I’m still pretty sure you can get a free class from AppAcademy.io, and if you can’t…well, I guess I should just look into it. Perhaps I will write about it later. … Nah, fuck that. I’ll just check it out right now haha.

THIS IS WHAT I FOUND!

So, I think they have it where the course is free for everyone ~ the online course ~ but then if you get a job you have to pay them back…or something. This is a good way to do it, I think. If you took a free class and then got a job paying 80k+ per year, you would probably not feel too bad about paying 1-3k to the people that helped you get there.

You see? I think it’s more complicated than it used to be, anyway. There was a point where it was totally free and you could just watch these videos, and use the software built into the site to practice coding. Hmm. I’m not sure what to say haha, I’m just trying to explain how I feel, so that other people can accelerate their path. I know for a fact there are a million mother fuckers just like me, who are wondering why their ancestors kept reproducing if the most interesting thing in the world is simply to get high. BUT! I’ll tell you, that is not the case. However, I also know for a fact that living like I live is not the fastest way to success in that regard. You don’t wanna live like this; not even I do.

What I’m saying is that I had access to a unique thing at a unique time in history, and I didn’t take advantage of it, and moreover, I didn’t put in the work or demonstrate discipline, and, I’ve realized now, three years later, that it really was what I was supposed to do haha. At least ~ in a different reality. It was very palpable, but I didn’t pursue. That being said, it was also very difficult for me. I am bad at algebra, but I am good at logic, so I’m like half what I need to start. What does that mean? It means that before I was able to succeed in learning Ruby [or any coding language], it seemed that I would have to learn a lot about algebra using Kahn Academy. AGAIN ~ a free resource, totally at my fingertips, but I didn’t put in the work. I’m not feeling any type of way, but damn if it doesn’t feel good to write about it and explain, not only to you, but to myself, why I am what I am, and how I got to where I got. Am I happy? Yes; the short answer is yes. But the long answer is that I am frustrated. I’m happy, because I live how I want to live, and somehow, something always catches my fall. I never have anything terrible or really fucked up happen to me. At least anymore. I did break my shoulder once haha, and I’ve been fucked up in the hospital from doing too much drugs multiple times. Where am I going with all this? Oh, yeah, and so, I live pretty recklessly, and somehow something always catches me before I fall. Last month, I was running out of money, and working all the time, and I was sad that I was going to be working all the time and barely have anything after paying rent, and then boom I won $200 with my freestyle rap skills~ and now I’m not even sure if they still give out 0.1 eth every Sunday anymore. And now, this month, nothing is really catching me, but my old boss did see me on the street while he was jogging and told me to come into the restaurant to pick up my last check. So, that’s probably $300-400 which will bring me pretty close to paying rent. And then if I go out and sell kava all week? Plus…I think art walk is coming up this Friday, and if it is, I’d like to be there. I’d like to talk to the people at Mothership about it…or maybe this girl on 6th street ~ she said I could share her booth. And she’s stacked asf, but she might have been with her bf the day I met her ~ not too sure.

I’ve written like 2000 words this morning! Haha. What is next? If I write too much my hands start to feel fucked up ~ you know? I got nerve issues. And so, I think it’s about that time! I’m going to edit this one, forsure, and then publish. Probably do the whole thing while still chillin at Ihatov. Then I’ll go home ~ work on my kava plan/dreams ~ make some promo vids for the cipher at 16:00 [come thru] ~ and then…cipher! And then at night maybe I’ll scheme a little more. I’m thinking I might go post up in front of Duke City Herbs on Monday too? Why not? Maybe bring some chairs with me. People buying a drink and hanging out for 30-60 minutes if going to be my bread and butter. Some people hang and talk to me for a whole hour without buying a drink haha, but I think if I had chairs, they would feel more obligated. I just gotta set the vibe. OKAY! I’m outtie! Catch you in the cipher today! Or tomorrow [probably], right back here on this blog!

x. Spark Twain