From Matlacha to Matcha

Matlacha is an island next to where I used to live in Florida, which puts in in the southwestern part, just west of Cape Coral. 

Matcha is a type of green tea which is apparently is high is something called EGC.

The time is 10:05 in the morning and I am writing to you from Napoli Coffee in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Ant is here ~ she’s been here for almost three weeks. Honestly, it has been some of the best and most valuable moments of my life. Ant makes me feel extremely loved, and it’s something brand new. Almost like I had no real concept of what love is until now. Of course, I give a lot of love, and I think to have it figured out on that end. I can be very cruel, but I’ve been working on that for years, but now I think I’ll be able to expand quite further on these concepts and ideas that come to me in a natural way, but are not always so comfortable to grasp. I’ve got this person with me who actively practices self love in a very powerful way, and it’s become quite obvious to me that I want to change the way I live and love myself, because…well, I just feel it. 

What’s amazing, is that a lot of people feel it, but they also don’t act on it. 

Fear not! If I can learn to love myself, then I’m sure anyone can do it. Nobody treats me worse than myself, and for a long time I’ve felt like I deserved that. Even in this moment, I feel it creeping up. I’ve spent my whole life basically just beating the shit out of my body in order to make my mind feel good, and it’s really hard to come back from that. In fact, it’s impossible. However if that is the case, then why carry on the cycle? I do something foolish and then I am hard on myself about it, and then later on I’m hard on myself about being hard on myself. 

At the end of the day, it’s really just a routine that I’m stuck in. The routie of being cruel to myself, and the routine of seeing other people act that way and believing it to be normal. But what is normal today, will not be normal tomorrow [thankfully].

Right now I’m going to break away from this and write a press release for DAO Records. And then later today I have to work. Ant might levae for California today ~ I know that was her plan, but we are behind schedule. I’m really happy I got to spend this time with you, Ant, and I wanted to make sure I published something before you left. You just asked me if I ever clean my screen haha. I love You Ant, and thanks for being such a wonderful person, and being yourself. 

x. Spark Twain